Inside a Nerd's Mind

The Beginning of Friendship

And then I woke up.

“YOU SLEPT AGAIN??!!” Zachary exclaimed in anger.

This guy slapped me so hard I woke up from my fantasy world and into the world of pain depression.

I was still confused on what was happening. My mind was on another dimension whilst my body is trying to stand in response to Zachary’s anger.

Do you get those times on where somebody is talking to you when you just woke up and you don’t really understand what they are saying? It’s like their words are very clear but your mind has just trouble understanding the words like it’s another language from another planet. Can you even English?

As I soon realized what Zachary had said I immediately spouted “Wait, what day is it today?”

“It’s Saturday! It’s your mother’s birthday you i***t!” Zachary shouted.

I was shocked by the news that my mind just interpreted.

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT! My own mother’s birthday and I forgot about it.

Everything makes sense now. The essence and events in my dreams, Zachary’s persistence and anger, it was all for this special day.

It was funny on how my dreams got it wrong. It isn’t a school day. We aren’t late for class. School starts next week. Isn’t it weird that your subconscious sometimes creates these imaginary scenarios in your head that you know deep inside is impossible to happen but then you just go along with it in your dream? What is it with our dreams that our own minds cannot differentiate reality with imagination? Aren’t they the same subconscious anyway?

Why do we even dream anyway? Is this some kind of alarm or warning sign sent by a future council that oversees all our lives and even our minds? Do they want us to do something about it or change the course of our lives? Or is this just a random mixed of random s**t piled up on another pile of random s**t meant to do nothing but confuse us?

“Shhh, quiet down, she may hear you.” I whispered while I grabbed the door knob and opened the door.

I saw Zachary’s expression turn from angry into fuming. He definitely didn’t like my response.

“Oh yeah, Jeremy and Kim are already here in the living room. Your mother is still asleep in her room.” Zachary replied menacingly.

I saw Jeremy and Kim sitting on the couch in the living room. Both of them seems busy doing something on their phone with a full bag each beside them.

“We have a whole day planned ahead. We need to get going, stick to the schedule, or else this day would be ruined.” Zachary snapped.

Oooohhhh now I remember why Zach was so eager on waking me up, all four of us spent a week planning for this single day. We had a lot of creative and unique ideas on how we can celebrate today but we had to break it down so that it can fit into a single day with a limited student’s budget. We had been saving part of our allowances last week so that we can allocate it and consume it on this day to give my mother one of the best days in his life.

You see, I’m my mother’s only son. We were only two in the family and it was that way until I reached 7th grade on where I met Zachary, Jeremy, and Kim.

Most people would say or find me weird back then but jokes on them I still classify as a weirdo now. It’s not that I have weird fetishes or run like Naruto in the school grounds but I just prefer to be different. I’m an introvert and I’m shy. No, I’m not scared to interact with people. I just prefer for people to interact to me first until I get comfortable with them then I unleash my full capability of my weird self into their life. I also have stage fright. This means that I have difficulty speaking in front of large crowds. I am perfectly fine speaking with my close friends. As a matter of fact, I am actually quite noisy when I’m in my comfortable side, especially when I am alone with my thoughts. I have all of these ideas in my mind but not the courage or the way to actually enunciate or say them to other people. This is probably because I’m afraid of judgement. I’m afraid of what people can say and spread about me. I do not like it and I get disappointed to myself when I do something wrong or if people laugh at me. I value my reputation and my self-worth varies on how people think about me. It is a toxic trait I know, but I just can’t remove this prominent trait of mine.

Why do I value what other people think about me? Why do I let them define me? When can I be confident about my self that I would actually stand up for myself?

This is probably why I miss a lot of chances in my life.

Until they came into my life.

I was lucky that me, Zachary, Jeremy, and Kim were all in the same class on 7th grade. They were able to help me improve my confidence and my self-esteem, especially my overall attitude towards people. I was with them all the time and adapted to their ways of living and communicating.

It was actually funny, our first interaction together as a group. I believe it was in the first week of school. It was Earth Science. We were tasked to identify and report about the different types of rocks which are namely igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic rocks. We were four in the group. While meeting with each other, Zachary skipped all the pleasantries and immediately started tasking us with Jeremy and Kim spouting some ideas here and then while I am just sitting and listening to them. We agreed on the idea that we should utilize our best qualities to maximize our presentation. Zachary was the leader, he organized on how the presentation should go and tasked who shall do what. Jeremy was the charm and the confidence of the group, he was tasked to be the main reporter along with Zach and Kim. Kim, on the other hand, was the main researcher. She is actually fond of Science especially on the field of Biology. She was the one tasked to gather valid and necessary information that we would present in front of the class. Meanwhile, I was tasked to make the PowerPoint presentation because of my broad experience in front of the computer and to also be the one to press the arrow keys to move it to the next slide. A menial task I know but it is the best that I can offer and I was glad that they went along with it and didn’t belittle me.

After that, they just kind of became my friend group. We would hang out in the cafeteria every recess and lunch break. They would tell the others all about their funny experiences and how their day went and I would sit and listen.

Zachary used to say that he and his father used to go fishing in the river when he was 10. And in one of those trips, he said he caught a 10-pound mackerel on his own. It was interesting listening to Zach’s story especially on how he was supposed to tie the bait onto the fishing rod and on how and when to reel in when you’ve caught the fish. Reel it too slow or too fast and you’ll lose it. His dad showed him the correct way of doing it. I wish I also have those kinds of father-son bonding.

Jeremy used to say that he experienced one of the most embarrassing diarrhea stories when he was in 5th grade. It was scouting day so he had to wear the scouting uniform. Those were always difficult to wear and manage. You have to wear a tight polo tucked in shorts wearing a belt, high socks, and black leather shoes. The scouting leader was strict and you shouldn’t have your uniform wrinkled or shouldn’t be loose so you had to tuck your polo tight in your underwear. To remove the uniform, you’d have to remove your shoes, unbuckle the belt, loosen the polo and the sleeveless shirt inside it. Then, you can finally relieve yourself. However, having diarrhea would change things and make it more difficult. He said that he just thought that the diarrhea was a fart so he held it in, not expecting it to be actual poop, and then he shat in his pants. He got in front and asked the teacher’s permission to go to the bathroom already smelling like s**t. He even said that his seatmate even complained about the “bad air” that was surrounding them. That was really funny if you think about it. Your own seatmate blaming everyone around without even pinpointing who really committed it, not knowing that it was you all along. Afterwards, he said that he got to the bathroom and got back to the classroom because he felt he was relieved already. Oh, how he was wrong! After not even five minutes of sitting inside the classroom, his tummy ached again. He had to ask for the second time and then the third time. The first and second time went all right. But when it came to the third time, he wasn’t able to keep it in and his poop fell to the floor of the boys’ bathroom. OH WHAT A SIGHT THAT WAS! He claimed that two of his batchmates even saw him. I wonder how fast that story would spread to his schoolmates. Anyhow, after all the pooping, a custodian came up and actually gave Jeremy a shower because of how he already stank. His mother also came to the school to give him extra clothes to wear. He was then asked to go home because of his diarrhea problem. And that was when Jeremy learned to always go to the bathroom whenever your body tells you to. We were still children back then, maybe we were still in an adolescent’s body but we’re definitely still a child in the mind.

Kim’s story is just a short one actually. She said that when she was on 2nd grade. She stabbed someone’s hand with a pen because she and her classmate was fighting over that pen. There was silence after she told that story. We just kind of stared at her for a solid 5 seconds until she said “What? It was my pen!” and we just chuckled like it was a funny thing to do.

We treat each other more than close best friends, it may even be already near as brothers and sisters. We’ve known each other since then. I sometimes get disappointed because sometimes not all the four of us are present whenever we plan to hang out. They already have other plans for that day and their own people they hang with. Zach is the sociable one. He aspires to be a politician one day, which is probably why he has the need to connect to a lot of people. He has other friends in his chess club, book club, and speakers club. I wonder where he gets all his time on participating in all of his club. I mean, how many clubs do you need? Jeremy is the ladies’ man. Most of his friends are either his past lovers or girls that likes him. He spends his time going on dates with the girls that he meets, how many dates do you need to go on? Is there like an Olympic sport for dating girls? Or maybe he is beating the world record for most girls dated. He also spends his time with his gym friends, no wonder he is buff and no wonder girls like him. Kim’s other friends are just people who shares the same interests as her in science especially those in the biology club. They hang out and do experiments that answers their own curiosity. It’s nice to see them hang out with other people and have hobbies other than wasting their time at home like what I do. We all need to make connections with other people especially when it concerns a certain field maybe like a hobby or professionally.

Do you wonder what my club is?

Nothing.

I didn’t sign up for anything because nothing peaked my interest or I just didn’t think it was worth it.

Or maybe I’m just anxious to join one.

Even though they have other friends, I consider them as my main friend group or the main people that I hang out with. That is why my mother treats all of my best friends as her own sons and daughters. We are all a family. We appreciate each other and what my mother has done for us.

“So Ethan, tough night eh?” Kim smirked.

“Yeah, why did you give our baby boy here more beers than he can consume.” Jeremy chuckled.

“He’s fine. He just thinks a lot at night.” Zachary assured.

“No, I don’t.” I objected hesitantly.

They looked at each other and let out a small laugh. I don’t know whether to be confused, be angry at them, or be ashamed.

“So, are we all set for our plan?” Zachary asked.

“Yup, I brought all the designs that you wanted me to bring.” Kim answered.

“I’ve already called the restaurant and confirmed our appointment for later.” Jeremy added.

“Very well then. LET’S START THE PARTY!” Zachary let out a war cry.