The Years Between Us

10. The Cruelest Lie

Sometimes I wonder why I came back. When I knew there was a past waiting for me here.

Were all these lies and wounds I had carved into Ezra all over again truly for the sake of protecting my children? Or was I actually protecting myself?

There was an ugly feeling buried deep inside me. Sometimes, Kyle’s face would appear quietly at the edge of my thoughts. And every time it did, guilt followed close behind. Did he really want this for me? Or was I simply choosing to believe that he did because it was easier than admitting the truth to myself?

Kyle smiled. Warm smile. Gentle eyes.

God, I missed that smile so much.

He was my best friend. My lover. The father of my children.

In my dream, he stood several feet away from me, smiling softly like he always did whenever he thought I was overthinking something. The wind moved through his dark hair as he looked past my shoulder, not at me—but at something behind me. Or someone.

Slowly, I turned around. Ezra was standing there. And beside him stood Cassie.

Kyle’s smile widened faintly, almost sad. Then he looked down between us, and suddenly Alex was there too, holding my hand with one tiny fist. For one impossible second, we looked like a family portrait hanging inside one of those furniture stores. Perfect. Warm. Whole.

Then the dream shifted. The hillside campsite, cold wind beneath silver moonlight. Ezra crying helplessly in my arms inside the coffee shop. Debby Hale’s trembling voice begging me to leave her son. Everything spun together like photographs changing too quickly inside an old projector.

Kyle disappearing.

Ezra reaching for me.

Cassie calling for her father.

Then I woke up.

The overwhelming sadness hit me immediately the moment I remembered Kyle’s smile. I stayed still for a few seconds, trying to feel my surroundings. And reality struck again. I was alone. Far away from my children and the life we had built together in Velmor.

Slowly, I sat up on the edge of the bed and buried my face in both hands. The lie. The words saying our child hadn’t survived. And the guilt I had never dared to fully acknowledge about Kyle ever since deciding to return to Windele—all of it echoed endlessly inside my head like a curse.

Again and again, I tried convincing myself that this was the best path available to me. When I imagined the Hale family, the conflict that would follow, and Nadine standing beside Ezra now, I knew I had no choice. I had to cut Ezra’s hope at the root so he could finally move on without my shadow haunting him anymore.

Desperate for something to ease the tightness in my chest, I reached for the phone resting on the nightstand. I glanced at the clock. It was still too early in Velmor, but I couldn’t wait anymore. I needed to hear their voices. I needed to remind myself why I had to become this cruel to Ezra.

The call connected after the third ring.

“Mommy?” Cassie’s sleepy voice filled my ear, rough with exhaustion.

And instantly, the painful ache inside my chest softened just a little.

“Hi, sweetheart. Sorry Mommy woke you up,” I whispered, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

“Mommy! I miss you. When can I come there already? Alex is driving me insane. Just leave him here with Grand,” Cassie complained immediately, rambling about their usual little domestic disasters.

I closed my eyes and smiled bitterly. The life waiting for me in Velmor felt so painfully different from the storm I was standing inside here in Windele. Here, their father had just mourned the death of a child who was still alive. And on the other side of the phone, that same child was growing up healthy, loud, and loved.

“Two more weeks, sweetheart,” I said softly. “Or do you want to come sooner? I thought you still liked staying with Grand.”

“I do. But I miss you. Alex misses you too.”

After several more minutes of exchanging small stories and making sure they were doing fine with their grandparents, I finally ended the call. My breathing felt steadier now. Cassie and Alex were my entire world. And for them, I would willingly carry the sin of becoming the cruelest woman in Ezra’s eyes.

Lumiere was closed today, and for once, I was grateful for it. That dream had drained all my energy before the day had even properly begun.

I walked lazily toward the kitchen to get something to drink, but the two empty rooms I passed along the way stole my attention. The rooms still waited quietly for their owners to arrive. I could already imagine how different this apartment would feel once the children were here. Smaller. Messier. Warmer.

A faint smile tugged at my lips.

Ding dong.

The sound of the doorbell shattered my thoughts. I frowned slightly. Who would come this early?

When I opened the door, a delivery man stood there holding a bouquet of lilies. There was no sender’s name attached to the card. Only a single sentence written neatly across the paper:

Hope today is kind to you.

I was still staring at the flowers in confusion when my phone suddenly rang. By the time I reached for it, the call had already ended.

Missed Call: Nadine Rowe

Why was she calling me this early on my day off? A few seconds later, a message arrived.

Nadine: Can we meet, Meara?

There was something strange about seeing my own name written so casually by her. I still wasn’t used to this sudden intimacy between us.

You: What’s wrong? Do you want to discuss your dress?

Nadine: I don’t know who else to talk to. I really need your help.

I frowned at the message before replying.

You: Alright. Tell me what I can help you with, Nadine.

An hour later, I was sitting inside a café not far from my apartment. I kept stirring my drink over and over while my new “friend” continued talking almost nonstop for the past fifteen minutes.

What a wonderful way to spend my day off. For a moment, I found myself wishing Reina would return soon. I missed her.

Nadine played absently with the strap of her handbag before finally looking directly at me. “Ezra just disappeared before the party even ended,” she said quietly. “And he came home really late last night. When I asked where he’d been, he didn’t answer me at all.”

She let out a small laugh. A stiff, bitter little sound.

“He locked himself in his study until morning. I could hear him...” Her voice softened. “He sounded like he was crying, Meara.”

Nadine leaned closer across the table. Her eyes carried such desperate confusion that it made my chest tighten painfully.

“I know he’s a closed-off person,” she continued. “But last night he looked like someone whose entire world had just fallen apart.” Her voice wavered slightly. “Meara... what do you think happened to him?”

I stayed silent. The hand holding my straw suddenly felt stiff.

“You’ll find your answer faster by staying beside him,” I replied flatly, “instead of searching for it in places that can’t give you one.”

The atmosphere immediately turned quiet. Nadine didn’t answer right away. The silence stretched long enough that I eventually had to glance up to make sure she was still there. She had sunk deeper into her chair and was staring at me in disbelief.

“You’re really cold,” she muttered with a pout.

I sighed softly. Oddly enough, I felt slightly relieved. At least this version of Nadine felt more real than the overly composed girl from the party.

“You’re about to marry him,” I said carefully. “Shouldn’t the two of you have already learned how to handle things like this by now?”

“Ezra has never been this bad before,” she admitted quietly. Her fingers continued twisting the strap of her bag unconsciously.

I studied her for a few moments before speaking again. “Since we’re apparently closer now... can I ask you something, Nadine?”

“Of course.”

“Do you actually know him?”

She blinked. I chose my next words carefully.

“I mean... the two of you are very different. Your personalities. The way you think. Even the age gap between you is fairly large.” I paused briefly. “Are you really sure you can spend the rest of your life with someone like Ezra?”

Nadine fell silent. Her gaze dropped toward the table as though nobody had ever dared ask her that question before. Or maybe nobody had ever been honest enough to say it directly to her face.

Before she could answer, I spoke again. “Maybe you should go back to his side now.”

I genuinely wanted this conversation to end. Being the person Nadine confided in about Ezra was the last role I wanted in this world.

But instead of leaving, Nadine looked at me closely. “For some reason,” she said slowly, “Sometimes, I feel like you know Ezra much better than you admit, Meara.”

My chest tightened instantly.

“That assumption has no basis,” I replied evenly, forcing myself to sound unaffected.

Still, Nadine continued staring at me, as if trying to uncover something hidden beneath my calm expression. Then suddenly, she said—

“Come with me.”

I frowned.

“Talk to Ezra for me.”

And at that exact moment, something inside me finally snapped with understanding. This girl truly had no intention of letting me live peacefully anymore.