I told Elias everything the next morning, and the abbey's clocks kept running.
We sat in the archive's stairwell, where the stone steps curved around the tower and the ward line muffled our voices. He had brought a small lamp and the ledger about Elowen Sayer. I had brought the story of my own failures.
In run one, I'd believed the system was a dream and tried to wake up by walking into the mountain fog.
In run two, I'd mistaken the abbot's kindness for help.
In run three, I'd forced the issue with Elias and watched the wards punish us both.
In run four, I'd asked him to take me out through the northern pass. We'd reached the old bridge before it collapsed.
I stopped there. The memory had sharp edges.
Elias kept both hands on the ledger. He didn't interrupt or reach for me.
"In the
