Lost You Years Back

This is not what I expected

I heard the pulling the breaks sound and I slowly open my eyes and saw Lilly were sitting on my lap , playing with my hair. . . . .

" Aww my baby . . . what are you doing ? are you hungry ?

Kevin open the car door for me and I told him to take Lilly from me and he hold's Lilly from me . . . I grab the my bag's and hop out of the car and turn around . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When I saw aunt Angie house , my jaw dropped . The place is fairly hidden from plain sight. No street signs would pinpoint its exact location. If you look carefully a concrete driveway where lush green shrubs lined up on both sides that shows you the way in. The entire compound is elevated one meter above street level surrounded by a two-meter high, terracotta brick wall. The driveway leads to a huge dark walnut wood and wrought iron gate. On the right side of it is a small but similar wood and iron pedestrian gate.

Upon entering the main gate, a strip of trimmed fruit trees stands along the left side of the perimeter wall. A structure sitting on the far right corner of the lot will catch your attention. It is a three-storey concrete house with no visible roof looming like a stack of Lego blocks made of lapis lazuli in a shade of deep Prussian blue; my humble abode.

In front of my house is a 6 feet long, 5 feet wide and 8 feet high portico. Instead of the standard two pillars and a roof design, this portico is a row of ten simplified torii painted in bright vermilion red like the color of tomatoes. Hanging along the width of each torii are wind chimes of different sized cranes made of lightweight metal that play softly even with a breeze. The torii is covered by a translucent fiberglass roof, which allows subtle light to enter making the metallic crane wind chimes twinkle like stars. The portico is interconnected to a covered pergola on the right that goes all the way to the pedestrian gate. The walkway is also beautiful . Scrubs on the both side of the walk way . . . . . . . the estate mansion came into view. Contrary to Pandora's expectations, it wasn't at all cold and imposing. It was a gracious, low-slung residence of two stories, inhabiting its surroundings with comfortable ease. Its classic lines were softened by an abundance of glossy green ivy that mantled the cream stucco façade, and arbors of pink roses that arched cheerfully over the courtyard entrance. Two extended wings curved around the front gardens, as if the house had decided to fill its arms with bouquets. Nearby, a slope of dark, dreaming forest . . . . . . . . . . .

" Aunt Angie ! I came running from behind her . She stop in the midway and turn towards me . . .

" Yes , Vivian ! she said and I said , " Aunt who's house is this ?

" What do you mean ? it is my house . "

" This is not your house aunt I don't believe it . And secondly it's is not your house it's an mansion oh no , it's not huge f*****g mansion . "

" Why are you shocked ? it's my late husband mansion after his death I got his inheritance God bless him . "

" WHAT ? when uncle Fred died ? no one told me about it . "

" Oh no ! that broke Fred is alive and we got divorce and I marry again with a sugar daddy and he died after an year . "

" A sugar daddy !

" Yeah , why are you shocked ? make your self comfortable and you know what I made a nursery for Lilly . "

First the heart stops, then it races. First comes the shock of not understanding what's happening, then comes the shock of realizing precisely what's happening. The survival instinct and fear of dying start to fight, making space for some surprisingly irrational thoughts in between. Some small rational part of me realized I was in deep shock. It repeated the fact to me again and again. I did not want to think of what I saw. I did not want to know what had happened here. I did not want to know what any of this meant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

" Vivian , why are you standing like that ? move on . " Kevin said and I nods to the Kevin and he was holding Lilly on his arm and I move forward with him and aunt already went inside . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Malibu: With sounds of waves crashing, and the ocean at the doorstep, you feel like you are hours away from civilization. And with L.A. traffic, YOU ARE.

As we step inside . and gaze upon hallways are dark marble floors and white walls, not a hand print or scuff mark anywhere. The doors are a glossy black, numbered with silver digits that match the globe shaped handles. It isn't just the materials though, it's the dimension .

My jaw dropped to the ground when the I saw the inside of the mansion . . .

" Vivian , come inside I'll show you Lilly's room . "

" Okay , I am coming inside aunt Angie . "

I take's Lilly from Kevin and walk behind aunt and she leads me into a room . It was a adorable baby nursery . . .

The wall paper were in pink cover and carpeted floor and a beautiful crib at the side and room was filled with stuff toy's and dolls . I look over the other side of the room and saw a leather couch and aunt said , why don't you have a seat . I said I could have a seat on the couch if I wanted to, but I told her I didn't believe in leather, so I stood.

I am so tired - so tired of being of being whirled on through all these phases of my life, in which nothing abides by me, no creature, no place; it is like the circle in which the victims of earthly passion eddy continually .

Aunt take Lilly from me and told me she will take Care of her . She told me about my room direction and I nods and walked out of the hallway .

As soon as I step into this magnificent palace,

An extravagant Television Room is essential in every house. Aunts house is no different; there is another projection television, and duplicate game consoles, however this room contains a theater surround sound music system. All the furniture is made out of leather with built in refrigerators on the side to hold your beer or soda. So you do not have to go far for a cold one.

The walls are partially decorated with pieces of wood. It resembles the interior of a cottage. There are four black leather couches and a wooden coffee table that sits in the middle. My mother usually makes tea or coffee for us. She'll also bring out a bowl of sliced fruits, nuts and put it on the coffee table. . .

I'm so tired I never want to wake up again. But I've figured out now that it was never them that made me feel that way. It was just me, all along . I realized in the past few weeks, that it doesn't matter how tired and f****d up I am when I do what I love to do and the things that give you satisfaction! Because in the end, it's all about love! but still It’s so overwhelming when you notice how the clock ticks; so many tiny pieces holding each other together just so it keeps going. We are like clocks, too! Always ticking to the tocks. When the pieces of our soul are torn away or broken – we can’t be sent to the mending shop, however. So how do we get better? Workable? Thoughts can be tiring, at times. Or maybe it’s the same time – who knows? The clock is broken. Meh . . .