Lost You Years Back

Alan Simps

The Next Day

After waiting many hours in the airport lobby, the plane finally was ready at gate 42. I took one last look at where I had been sitting for the past two hours. As I walked toward the plane, I thought about all the terrible things and accidents that happen to me in the LA.

once I boarded the plane and tuck myself comfortably in the seat, holding Lilly in my hands and she is already sleeping thank God . . . Kevin sits next to me the plane took off and started the journey toward the blue sky when I heard a rumble under my feet. I didn’t worry as I thought that it was just the landing gear retracting back in the plane. But after sitting in my seat for another four long hours, I heard another rumble, and this rumble couldn’t be the landing gear.

Suddenly the Sun was replaced by dark clouds and rain poured on the windows. “There is a thunderstorm happening and we’re in the middle of it, so please seat back in your seats and buckle up.” said the captain. I thought there should be just some turbulence and an intensive atmosphere in the plane. But unexpectedly, the turbulence was so heavy that I was nearly pulled out of my seat. However, after a minute or two, the turbulence ended and the staff on the plane started bringing out food.

My meal on the plane was a disaster. I was waiting for the first meal excitedly, though foods served on flights are usually low quality and tastelessness. But still they were the best way for me to escape the boredom. The temperature inside the plane was so low I believe that the airplane was adjusted to transport frozen meat across the pacific ocean, not human passengers. It was in the middle of summer so I didn’t have any warm clothes with me. I had asked the staff for a blanket and she explained that they ran out. Right after he was gone, the staff with a trolley started handing blue plastic tray. Each tray contained a covered plastic plate, a piece of bread, a yogurt cup and a bottle of water.

I opened the lid of the plastic plate, enjoying its warmth. Then I took a look inside; it contained white rice and a kind of green mash. At least it didn’t look strange! Trying to figure out what it was, I started to investigate it with my spoon, while keeping my face above it to feel the warmth. The hash seemed to be made of vegetables and there were small pieces of chicken and potato in it. Finally, I came to this conclusion that bearing with the temperature was easier than eating the food.

" Vivian , Vivian ! Kevin said I tried to ignore him and kept looking at the Lilly and her pucker lips . . .

" Vivian ! he said again . . .

" What is wrong with you Kevin?

" Nothing , I just wanna talk I'm getting bore you know are you not . "

" I am perfectly fine 3 second ago before you speaks . "

" You are joking right ! and do live in LA before . "

I looked up at him with the kind of expression that Jesus might have given someone who had just explained that he was probably allergic to bread and fishes, so could He possibly do him a quick chicken salad . . . . . . . . . .

" Well . . . I born there and study there and then I got marry with my high school sweetheart in LA . We live together and then we got divorce then after the divorce I found out I was pregnant with Lilly then I move to the London as you can see I spend most of my life in LA . "

" What was your husband name ? i mean x husband sorry . "

" Alan Simps , It wasn't just the way he always looked at me- with a mix of genuine joy and longing rolled into one- or his appearance, although he wasn't hard on the eyes with those rippling pectorals. I found myself drawn to those kind blue eyes and the hard line of his jaw, which moved when he was thinking. It was the dimples in his cheeks when he flashed me that magnetic smile, and the way his reddish blond hair had a single curl that was always falling in front of his eyes. But mostly it was that earnest nature of his, and his need to find the good in every situation, which was so different from how she viewed life, and gave me hope that the world could be more than I imagined it to be. . . . "

" Oh then why you got divorce ? I mean it's kinda of good for me . How do we meet then ?

" I wish I didn't take divorce from Alan then I couldn't get this awful chance to meet you . " I mummers

" What did you just say ?

" Nothing . . . it's just like things didn't go like plan . Every night we fight about small things and I was just devastated from our financial crisis and he also and it was effecting our relationship and I couldn't take this anymore . I moved to my mother house and flies divorce against him and in three months period of time we got divorce and then two weeks later I found out that I was three months pregnant . "

" Oh , did you tell him about Lilly and when did you last time saw him . "

" No ! I didn't told him and I know he seriously doesn't want this child and last time I saw him when we were in family court and he never contact me neither me . "

" Okay , do you want to see him again . . . I mean do you still love him . "

The answer lies true in my heart,

So if I tell you, will you tear it apart?

Or will you keep it a secret so only you know? Will you cover it up so it won't show?Will you tell me what I know is true

So I can continue loving you? Or will you feed me all your lies? hide the truth behind your eyes. Pretend you never did really care. lies and fake hate, you declare. worst shall become the best.

When that happens, shall I rest

Or will I live with this misery?

And will you ever get to see

Past all these lies to what's true

So you can see how much I love you

feel a heaviness on my heart.

It's a mixture of emotions and feelings.

The butterflies overtake my chest.

It only happens when I think of you

I get scared and nervous

Because it's too late for me.

I've fallen deep into the abyss of your love.

I keep sinking deeper and deeper.

It scares me because I'm reaching out for you.

I'm longing for your grip

To pull me up into your arms

Or maybe you'll dive into the abyss of my love.

Maybe we'll sink together.

We can breathe life into each others souls to survive

Because that's what true love does.

I'm longing for the day

To hear those three beautiful words

That will pierce my heart forever.

To hear "I love you"

Will weld my soul into yours.

You'll be treated like the angel you are

Miraculously created by God Himself.

Reach out for me

Because I'm looking for you

Deep in the abyss of your love.

" NO ! I don't love him and will gave me a napkin from the bag . " I said to Kevin and tried to end this conversation because it is painful to talk about my past but Kevin never understand that my feelings and I told him that I don't love Alan but deep down from inside I know I love him and it's so hard for me to say that I don't love him . . . . . . . . . . .

When we landed in the LA we goes through the immigration process and then me and lily waited in the airport lounge and Kevin went to find our bag's . I glance around and saw . . . There are long queues at the departures and there are many restless people waiting for someone who has arrived or is going to arrive at the arrivals. People are restlessly wandering through the luggage and are busy finding their belongings. Security checks are going on and some people are waiting for their flight in the lounge. Heels click as a lady goes to board a plane. A guide dog leads his blind owner.