Jealous Gore And The Victim

The Moment

How about the suicide, but what would my father feel, what about my promises when I commit the suicide? I'm in danger but I must find ease."

My treasures of joy and peace are extorted; these thoughts kept going in the womb of my mind till I heard a bang on the gate at about 9:00AM, and then I remembered I hadn't prayed.

I ignored the gate banging and I went straight to the restroom and took a shower. I returned to the prayer mat with the power spirit in me and posted in prayer and the gate kept on the banging.

"Who's banging the gate so hard like that? And what if it's my dad, but dad has his keys." Thought couldn't stop in my head in the prayer as the bang, bang, bang continued until they were doing it wrong, and I was done with the prayers, so I hastily rushed out towards the gate, and I found Policemen in black outside as I glimpse through a hole. I opened the gate, and there was Suleiman, his colleagues and some people in the neighbourhood.

"Good morning sir." I patiently greeted him.

Mr Suleiman cheerfully replied "Good morning, how are you? .....We received some calls from the neighbours that they heard a yelling voice from the compound at midnight and the same this morning, and we are here to make sure everything is fine.

We've been here knocking at the gate for quite some time, but no response,e and we're about to scale through the fence to check if everything is fine with you, and there you open."

"Sorry for keeping y'all out here until now; I woke up late and I was observing my prayers before coming out.' In blissful expression... "Yeah, I reluctantly shouted in the middle of the night and this morning because of the awful nightmare I had, which pow me up with an unintentional yell. But my apologies to y'all for the inconvenience; please forgive me." I humbly.

Suleiman further, "As well, your Dad rang me twice and asked me to check for you because he has been trying to reach you through your phone, and there was no response. Hope you saw the calls?"

With a happy sigh, "Yes sir, the network was bad last night, but we were able to speak on the phone later on." I responded

"Okay, that's good. These two of my men will be here to look after you till your Dad return. Make sure you reach out to your Dad as often as possible, because he was worried about you when he called." Suleiman said.

The neighbors started returning to their places, but a young man aged 19 or 20 stood by as Suleiman drove off. The two Policemen were standing next to me, and at a full length, we were about to return back inside in, and I lifted my head in a glance into the young man's face, and in my final efforts, I was falling faster into the house..... Instantly "Sorry, excuse me please sister, what's your name please?"

I paused and puzzlingly "why?" In awe, we all gave him a gaze.

He was silent for some seconds, and the next thing, "Sorry, but you are honestly beautiful, and I can't help myself, that's why."

"Okay thank you." I contemptuously responded, and I offered myself inside the compound, and the Policemen followed. The young man remained in his good standing as we crawled in, leaving the gate behind us unshut; I returned to shut the gate, and he was still there with a gaze, and I shut the gate.

There was a security guard room by the gateway inside the compound, and I asked one of the Policemen to stay in there and the other to come along with me inside. I offered him a room downstairs, and I went straight upstairs to my room. I glided through the window, and I was able to see outside the gate in my curiosity, and I saw the young man walking south into a nearby House, some feet away from my place.

No one ever stared at me like that and that got my heart pledging for him.

'Who's that young man? Where is he from? Is that their house? Why was he so brave to say that in front of the Policemen? What does he do for a living? Was my response to him okay or was I rude or arrogant? Maybe I wasn't right in the way I responded to him. But Whatever! .....I owe him nothing. Who asked him to say such a thing to me? He should go to hell if he feels bad about how I responded, I don't care. But wait... Am I that beautiful?'

This is crazy. I shook my head. I was talking to myself, questioning and answering all by myself like a folly for just a compliment. I grinningly laughed at my folly.

I thought of a mirror, and I went straight to the restroom, trying to figure out how beautiful I looked, forgetting the mirror in the main room. What a mad hatter right?

I got to the restroom, and it was a short mirror on the wall, and I craved a full mirror to see myself in full.

Oh! Yeah! I look good in my light chocolate skin, with dimples, full hairy straight eyebrows, I got full and long hair, I have natural pink lips but my upper vermilion is a bit chocolate mixed with pink, while my lower labium superius oris is pink, I got chubby full body, normal ladies height, fresh, clean and silky smooth skin. I'm outspoken but shy, outstanding in terms of patience, I'm bold with the nature, I speak and understand good English, and I am an introvert. But I'm on point.

I my poor darling self was trying to understand what beauty means and I was trying to figure out why the young man said such.

I returned to the main room and there was the full mirror and at this time I was looking at myself in full shape, turned around to check myself out. Smirked

Foolishly laughing at myself letting the peace hold inside me in a sweet breath and I laughed in the mirror, walked towards the mirror, dance in the mirror, talking to myself ridiculously, and this was the moment I realized myself and how fun could be living alone enjoying my company and I strivingly letting go my worries.

Before this time I was inferior with low self-esteem, and I don't know what I was like, who I am, how I looked in the eyes of others as much, because my mom and siblings always reminds me how ugly I look, how disgusting I could be, how evil and how useless. They taunt me with the wrong words and life got messy for me.

I was hopless and seemed useless, I don't believe in myself, but the young man made me feel something special about myself with the kindest words and gesture. And at that time of hurdles it was the right words I wanted to keep going. I was able to figured out who I am and I shaved up to my Queenship crown.

Checked time and it was already 12:00PM and I haven't taken my breakfast, I forgot to call my Dad and the drivers, I forgot about the Policemen outside and to offer them something to eat. I was kitch by the young man thoughts and I was drawing all sort of useless arts out of my head. I starved myself and the security men.

I hastily rushed downstairs in my cool temperament to tender my apologies to the Policemen and I met them chatting about football clubs and players 'Messi and Ronaldo, Barcelona and Madrid bla bla bla.' Which I couldn't comprehend.

"Hello, good afternoon officers, please what do you prefer for lunch?" I asked with dignity.

"Good afternoon sister, please anything. You can prepare anything." They replied intently....

"Sorry for keeping you without offering something to eat. I was busy inside that was why." In mended manner.

"Oh, no problems." They grinningly responded

Before I started doing anything in the kitchen I remembered I haven't called my dad so I quickly went up stairs to get the phone and I called him twice, but no response.

Everyone deserves love. Everyone needs someone to lean on to carefully relieve their hearts during life's trials. Each person is special, irrespective of their status, colour, or gender. Life is worth living, even in the worst storms, and the most beautiful things in the world are often hidden in the dark, live in the air, run through the water, and burn in the flames of fire.

The burning desire that causes us to shy away from expressing what's on our minds cannot be hidden forever in this vast world. It may smoulder for a while in others' eyes, hidden from view; our feelings may remain unvoiced because they go unseen, even from the highest mountain perspectives.

On a toxic night, I felt traumatized, seeking the therapeutic light to heal the island I had been dwelling on all my life. I grew to exist in a night full of questions like, "Why? Am I the only one trying to figure out how to be right?" I have nowhere to fight against the struggles that threaten my existence in a universe whose direction I cannot comprehend.

What does time look like, and how does it fly? When love exists, everything feels lighter. The night and day aren't the only seasons that define what life is about. Hope and uncertainty are present in both summer and winter. Fantasies may never seem right tonight; we will see nothing clearly until we are treated with empathy.

I realized that sunshine, rain, and all genders feel the same pain, joy, and gains. We experience running and stillness, peace and conflict, love and hate, sickness and health—everything has its end. Let's let belief take hold of all this. We all embody negative and positive, opposite and adjacent feelings. What do you think happens when you give up on me and do not lend a helping hand during my struggles?

Facing the dreadful heights twice with courage, I urge everyone to be equal and loving, allowing us to evaluate our lives and speak honestly about reality, with equal justice for all.

If I've learned anything at this age, it's that I will soon be an adult who teaches others about reality and what it takes to succeed in life. After all the lessons learned, my mother, siblings, and father will forever be my genetic connections. I know I will grow faster and better than where I came from, and my background mentality will evolve positively.

I will view everything as trials and tests. I would rather live in this nightmare than return to that pit of hell.

I was dreamily talking to myself in the lonely house when Dad called back.

"Hello, Salama! How are you, my little love charmer? I hope you're feeling good?" he asked.