A Piece Of Memory

Storia 6 : Night for Two

Two weeks after that day, I guess that's where I started not being able to spend my time without thinking about Sarah.

It's quite strange indeed, when things go like this. Especially if you remember the events of the last few months. Even just remembering it drives me almost crazy. I know a part of me is still trying to hide my feelings. I think it is only because I am impressed with her. But what happened next was that I seemed to lose control. Even I can't control what goes through my own mind.

I know that my interest is not just spending my time. But more towards wanting to have her. Everything about her suddenly intrigued me. I don't know when I started feeling that way. But clearly, I still think of it as the craziest thing that has ever happened in my life. I began to imagine that I would have more to do with her father in the future. Another fact I have to avoid. Plus, when it comes to talking about my friends. I guess I'm still not quite ready for all this. Moreover, I am also not a very expert in matters of love.

Well, I'm not saying I've never been in love before. The last time that happened was not even more than two years ago. When I was in a relationship with someone named Maria. She is a student in Bandung, two years younger than me. We even had time to express our seriousness, before she completely left my life. “You know, I always make a time for you. I always try to be in touch. But you always have a reason to keep away. I don't even know if you expect the same from me. But I can't see your seriousness anymore." That's what she said on our last call. And I know what she said was true. Before she ended our relationship after three years.

Distance, is the most difficult thing for us. Though in the end I could see that as an excuse. Because at that time I just heard the news that suddenly married another man. Moreover, the time span is too short. For Sarah, maybe the story will be a bit different here. But after all love is a two-way relationship, right? And I can't put my heart on someone without expecting that person to feel the same way about me. Something I need to find out in more detail.

I know that Sarah always gives me encouraging signals. In fact, she had shown it many times. Like the dishes he often brings home, she prefers to spend his time with me, a small fact that makes more sense if i look at it. And even if there are other obstacles, I think it's just our basic principles that are really different. I know it will be a long battle between us. Something that will never be finished if it doesn't sacrifice the feelings of someone or another. Something I have to find a way to talk about. So now on, I guess it's just my way of dealing with it. And this is actually the most important part.

That's why I then planned to meet Sarah right at her house. And I didn't plan to make a call before come to her house. What I do is follow her habit every time she come home. I planned a date for the night. It’s just because that time is so much fun for both of us to spend together. Especially after considering the fact that Welmina was indeed the safest place in the world.

The crime rate there is very low. Even its most heinous crime seems to be the theft of chickens. Which I think is appropriate for the victims. And that's because the chickens here like to be released carelessly. They used to climb to the highest branches every night. Which makes everyone have to be extra careful every time they pass. Because even if they were fast asleep, those stupid creatures didn't even care to who passed under their feet. You must understand what I mean right? And even if there are other crimes, it seems like only cases of losing sandals are common here. Which often happens in places of worship. But as with the first case, no such crime has ever been reported. Which of course would be the most ridiculous record in police history if that happened.

I'm actually not really sure whether to take Sarah for a walk or not, but if I had to talk to her house too, I think it would be a good start for me. Though I have other plans when it comes to dealing with her father. But the distance between my house and Sarah's house is quite far. Even I had to sweat before getting there. Moreover, I have to do it on foot. When I got there, I knocked on the door and knocked again. Actually, I was already feeling anxious because soon I would be facing Otto right in front of the house. Imagining the reason why I came here. But luckily, it wasn't Otto who opened the door, and it was Sarah.

"Ryan," she said as the door opened. "I thought who it was." I know she was a little surprised to see me coming. Though she seemed happy to see me there too. Then she looked behind me for a moment, before speaking again. "What's going on at this time of night?"

“Um… it’s nothing btw…, just wanted to talk!”

She was silent for a moment, seem to think about my situation just now. "You walked here? Your house is far, right?” Then she said.

But I know she doesn't need an answer. Which made me not answer exactly as she said. I actually asked back about the clothes she was wearing.

“Uhm…, ​​you want to leave the house now?”

She was wearing blue blouse and trousers. The type of clothes that I think is not too familiar to wear at home. I think she wants to go somewhere or something. Before my arrival stopped her here.

"Not really…,"

“Oh…, so am I bothering you?”

"I didn’t say that..." she said, and she chuckled. “I just wanted to get some fresh air, I guess that's all. But then you came…”

For a moment, I might question Sarah's words. In Welmina, there doesn't seem to be any place to just hang out or anything like that. Which got me a little confused. But I chose to ignore it. Until she spoke again.

"So, you want us to sit outside or talk inside?" Then she continued.

I glanced inside for a moment. And immediately knows if there are children there. Maybe we can talk outside so that things don't go any wrong. Moreover, the choice is actually not too bad.

Then I muttered. "If you let me in, I think it's fine."

Finally, we sat inside her house, and chose the living room to talk, before Sarah left me for a while. I thought she wanted to tell her father or something, then called him here. I can feel my nervousness getting worse now. While thinking about how I can escape this time. But that's not what happened then. Sarah actually brought two drinks. And sat back in her chair. This time with a position a bit far from me.

Then I muttered. "Your father isn't home?"

"You do not know?" she said confused. "My father went out of town.”

"Out of town?"

“Yes…, this morning.”

"Oh..." I said. My tone sounded like it was a pleasant surprise for me. In fact, I didn't even realize that Sarah had caught my expression just now.

"You seem happy when my dad isn't home?" Then she said. Which briefly explained what I was feeling at that time. But I didn't answer. And we sat in silence for a while.

I looked the photos on the wall then. Trying to lighten the situation. Even a moment ago, I was pretty sure that I meant it as a date. But now I was suddenly in her presence, and didn't know how to deal with my own awkwardness. Inside, I began to imagine how long this situation would end. This is definitely not the situation I was expecting. Before Sarah spoke to me again. Where she directs her to the topic.

"Ryan, you said there was something you wanted to talk about, right? What is it?" Then she asked.

"Um... not really."

"So why are you here?"

Then I laugh. “Actually…, I just wanted to meet you, that's all.” I said honestly. While Sarah started laughing too.

"Then why didn't you call me earlier?" It seems she is more dominant.

“Oh… that…, I guess… I forgot a little.”

"You're being weird now," she quipped, and she laughed again.

This time I didn't answer. And just mumbled that she was the one who made me like this. But before long a child suddenly approached us, before sitting right next to Sarah. And I immediately knew her name was Vira when Sarah called her. But from the look in her eyes I could tell that she really didn't like me there. As Otto often did. Even I was a little surprised that Otto's attitude could actually be inherited.

"She's your nephew?" I said to pass the time.

"Yeah, all the children there are my nephews."

"Oh..., looks like now you're the only unmarried." I teased her.

This time it was Sarah who didn't answer, and just smiled to herself. That's why I then spoke again. “Then what do you want to do after this Sarah? I mean… your future plans?”

"What do you mean?"

“I mean, you must have a wish for the future, right? What do you want to achieve? Hope or what?” This is the first time I have thought of asking her life directly. I thought it would ease my anxiety a bit.

Then Sarah mumbled. "I don’t know. Build a house maybe. Buy something." she says.

I blinked. Imagine how Sarah's brain works. I don't even know if my words don’t make it easy. "You're not planning on getting married? I mean, I've heard your wish for it." I finally said, and she laughed again.

“Everyone my age wants to marry, Ryan. The question is how prepared."

“Oh…, so you have a choice now huh?”

This time Sarah wasn't too surprised by my question. I think she also knows that the question I directed to myself. I didn't even give her an option of not being serious this time. But instead of answering right away, Sarah looked away for a moment. Makes me think that the answer was bad.

But then again, she gave me another mild surprise there. With a pleasant signal through her little smile.

“Yeah, so you should congratulate me. Because I still don't have one." she says and she laughs. I can't help but smile at her either.

Actually, I also want to take it deeper into my feelings. To find out whether the opportunity really exists or not. But something about me reminded me again that I shouldn't rush. So that's why I turned my face to the wall of his house again. Because I don't know what else to say. And I laughed a little when I found out Sarah's beauty came from her mother. A small fact that suddenly makes my heart happy.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked suddenly. Instantly my consciousness returned.

"No, I just found out that you are as beautiful as your mother!" I said, pointing to the photo of her mother. That’s the first time i praise her.

I waited for her to say something, seeing the effect of my last words, but she just kept quiet and didn't say anything. Apart from just hiding her joy behind her smile again. To be honest, I don't want to take the happiness from there either. But that seems to be what I subconsciously did.

“Oh yeah Sarah… did your mom go out of town with your dad too?” Then I asked

I could see Sarah was deep in thought to answer my question. And I can't guess what he's thinking. "So, you don't know yet?" In fact, she said, asking again. “Actually…, my father and mother have been separated for a long time.”

"Oh, sorry." Then I replied. And I don't think I need to explain if I sound very sorry.

"It's okay, Ryan. You don't need to apologize."

“Forgive me for asking.”

Even after years of work, we never knew what Otto's life had been like. Not only because of the conflict between us, but also because we are lazy to do that. Then suddenly I realized that I had never seen Otto with anyone else who might have been his wife. Even when I often pass in front of their house. We never stopped by his house, or planned to go there, which made their life a completely stranger.

“My father and mother, they separated when I was little. Maybe when I was six years old, maybe a few months after the photo was taken. But we are the kids, prefer to go with my father. So, you can understand, right?” Sarah continued again. Even without me asking, she immediately explained what happened. “My father, he raised us alone for most of his life. And no one ever knew how difficult it was. That's why I love him so much. I also feel proud to have a father like my father.”

The way Sarah said it wasn't meant to show her problems or share her feelings, but rather to explain what I was asking. Which somehow makes me feel even worse.

I began to imagine Sarah's life during those times then. I think our lives are not that different. Although there is still a slightest difference that occur between my family and hers. Then suddenly Sarah's story melted away that I was feeling at that moment. In fact, I suddenly regretted not treating her well all this time. Including when I often talk her behind her back. And I saw Sarah carrying Vira on her lap again now. Obviously to clear her mind. Before her gaze shifted to the wall again. Look at the clock on the wall hanging there. Even I already feel really bad when she keeps doing that in front of me. Until her words again surprised me.

"Have you had dinner, Ryan?" she asked, as she turned her head back to me.

For a moment, I barely got the point. In fact, I almost made a mistake.

“Um… actually not yet.”

Hearing my answer, Sarah nodded for a moment. Before smiling and taking me to his dining room.

I think I feel like I’m free now.

There was a moment of silence, as we walked through the living room, before moving on to the kitchen again. From inside, we also had time to pass the kids in the television room. I could see the whole house from inside. And everything looks very neat. On the wall, in one of the halls that lead to the kitchen, I found another family photo. One of them turned out to be a photo of Otto when he was young. I thought it was a photo we used as a darts object in the office. In fact, I could barely hold back my laughter when I was able to find it here.

Further inside, the kitchen doesn't look that big. But still as comfortable as any other room. All furniture is made of selected wood. Some of them are carved from mahogany or ironwood. There is hardly any modern side to the place. The only thing new seemed to be the presence of a refrigerator in the place. Its existence was probably almost the same as the presence of electricity in Welmina. But everything looks synchronized. Then I sat down at one of the tables while Sarah prepared her dish.

She opened a small bowl for me, placed it on the table. Even the smell almost made my saliva melt.

"Have you ever tasted venison?" she asks now, while I shake my head. "It tastes good. You have to try it!" Then she continued.

Even the first time I heard it, I knew right away it was an unusual moment. Not only because they are few in number, but also because it takes some distance to find it. People used to buy them from hunters. That too at an extra price. But at least it's a lot easier than getting it in the city, right? Because they can only buy it from the nearest zoo.

I took the first bite, and started commenting. "You're right. It's delicious." I say. “Tastes like mutton.”

“Beef for sure.” She protested. “But with a slightly soft texture.”

I caught a glimpse of her face, I thought she was looking for an argue here. "Yeah... it seems, and you're like a chef now huh."

"Is that so? Who do you think cooks in this family?” She said and she laughed. And I give her nothing in return but to laugh.

I took a few more mouthfuls, seeing Sarah sitting directly across from me. But what surprised her was that she didn't touch her food at all.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I am not hungry." she says. "I mean…, I actually ate."

"So... you're just accompanying me?"

She then nodded.

“Uhm… but I'm not used to eating alone. So why not taste it a little?”

"I'm not hungry. Really."

“It’s Ok. Just accompany me! You got to eat btw. I think you won't be fat too if you only eat a bite or two. I mean…, you will still be beautiful with your looks like that.”

I let my comments seep into her, and letting her to laugh. A new reality again when I praised her again.

"If that's what you mean as a compliment, fine..." Then she said.

SHe put her plate down on the table, then sat down again directly across from me, before setting her plate there. This time less than mine. And she's starting to put it in his own mouth now.

"Why?" SHe asked me while I was still staring at her. "You asked me to accompany you right?" And when I nodded, we continued to have dinner together again.

It's nice to have a dinner with her, at her house, and just us. Even the dishes are very tasty. Small cutlets, with a strong spice mix, I didn't even know Sarah could cook this well. We didn't talk much now. Only our spoons and plates kept beeping.

"So, the kids over there, you wouldn’t like to take them to dinner, Sarah?" I suddenly wanted to ask that.

"Um… I don't know. I think they've eaten. Besides, they'll just be annoying," she said in a secret voice. And I have to admit, I really liked the look on her face now. "You know, kids like to be messy." But she added more. Immediately, I had to take a deep breath. But I try to forget it.

There was a pause before we spoke again.

"Are they all going to sleep here?" I asked again.

"No! They usually go home after the movie is over."

“Oh…, then what about their parents? Will they come?”

"Yes... of course." She answered, but I could see Sarah watching for my next words. “Oh…, you mean you're afraid they'll find you, huh? Just relax. They won't kill you just because they see you here!” she added and she laughed. Obviously didn't understand what I just said.

For a moment, I was silent again.

"Have you always been afraid of your girlfriend's family?" This time it was still Sarah who asked again. I don't know where that thought came from. And although that statement is not entirely true, but then again, I also can't help but take it seriously.

"No. Only your father." Then I said. And she answered with a laugh.

We finished dinner then, and I helped Sarah tidy the table while she washed all her utensils in the sink, before heading once more to her living room. Although not too much to say anymore this time. Just wrestling with our own thoughts.

Outside, the streets are getting quieter. Of all places, it seems that only Sarah's house is still wide open. In fact, it was only nine o'clock at night. But in the end, time made me aware enough not to linger there. Though I still wanted it to.

I tried to fix my feelings, stuffing my hands in my pockets a few times before getting up from my seat. While Sarah also followed my movements there. "I think I should go!" I said finally.

"So, you're going home?" she said again, and I nodded.

We walked slowly out the door, standing for a moment in the light of her porch, before I forced my courage back. "Can we meet again tomorrow, Sarah?" I said, casually.

But Sarah let my comment slip by for a moment, and it took her for a while to digest my words. At first glance, I saw only her doubts.

"Even if my father comes?" Then she said.

“You mean he will come tomorrow…?”

I didn't even hide my surprise from my voice. That conclusion came very quickly. But Sarah laughed again in front of me. Tell me if she's kidding.

The moon looks in full. And there are no more clouds in the way. The light really makes the night in Welmina really light up. But I'm still waiting for Sarah's to answer. Though I think she might have forgotten the question.

“So…, you have a spare time tomorrow, do you, Sarah? I thought I could come over to your house again." I asked again.

"Oh… Of course. I really like it."

The answer I've been waiting for. Then of course, that’s fun. While I'm back on my feet.

"Are you sure you can walk home?" she asked, as I just passed the fence of his house.

"Yes," I nodded.

"At this hour?"

And I nodded once again.

“Um… but your house is far away.” She said slowly. Bring her attention back.

I know her worries. And I think she's going to start showing her kindness here.

Then I muttered. "It’s Okay. I'm used to walking anyway." I said smiling.

I watched Sarah ponder my words for a moment. “Okay. Be careful on the way, Ryan.” Then she said.

And I had walked a little further when I peeked back for a bit, see Sarah's house which is already closed now. And the only thing that keeps going round in my head is what just happened. I can speak fluently right in front of her, she invited me to have dinner at her house, and her attitude that really enjoyed our time together, I thought it was a good start for me. Exactly as I expected. I can't even wait for our next date.