Her broken soul

Chapter 13: I Promise You

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people."

                        - Carl Jung

Arsala's POV

I feel like I'm in a dark place, unable to move or speak. Like I'm hallucinating, I could hear footsteps, voices, and a weird feeling of someone close by.

I woke up several times and made so many attempts to open my eyes but the painful headache keeps knocking me back down. This is also another unsuccessful attempt to open my eyes or move a body part. I feel too weak and just lifting my eyelid feels like a hectic task.

"Could you please wake up?"

These were the words I heard before drifting into a slumber. Though as much as I want to fight the pain I feel, I couldn't find the strength in me to do so.

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Its finally sports time, I and my friends made plans to play badminton and skip ropes. Its the only sport we enjoy and today we are playing against some junior student.

"Arsala, why aren't you dressed?" Lukna ask the moment I walk into the classroom.

"I went to get my geography script from Mr Ibrahim." I pick up my backpack, open a smaller compartment and squeeze the paper in.

"Could you hurry up Shamsiya is downstairs waiting." She place her foot on the chair to tie her shoe lace.

"You should go without me, I would meet you guys down when I'm done." I brought out my sportswear from my backpack.

"You sure?" She throws her backpack on her shoulders.

"Yes.....what did you score In the geography test?" Its a question I mean to ask the moment I walked in but realize I still need to put on my sportswear.

In fact I have to do so before our discipline master, Mr Tunde comes up to ensure nobody is hiding up here to skip sport activities.

"18 out of 20 he said there were tiny errors in the map." She reply with a shrug.

"He gave me 17 because I misspelt a country." I love geography but I can't stand the teacher because he is too strick.

"Just forget about that man abeg (please)." She hiss in a annoyed manner.

I picked my sportswear from the desk and walk over to where she stood.

"You aren't even trying to hide your hatred for him." I let out a laugh.

"Is come oo." She exclaim with a laugh.

"What's there to hide? He is so annoying and strick." That is a rhetorical question coming form her.

"Well you........" We both step out of the classroom.

"Get dressed its already 2:45pm." She interject before I could complete my sentence.

"Seriously???" I ask in shock.

"Hurry up...." I was already running towards the girls bathroom before she could finish.

Once inside the bathroom I quickly took off my white T shirt and skirt. Then change into my sportswear, now to fit my hair into a turban. I was busy doing just that when I heard the door creak open.

"Who is in here?"

I can recognize that voice anywhere, I'm certain it the discipline master.

"Who is...."

"I'm here." I reply betraying myself, I could have just stay quiet.

"What are you doing in there?" He ask.

I'm seriously grateful he couldn't see that I just rolled my eyes at him for asking such a question. What does he thinking I'm doing inside the bathroom? Eating.

"Changing into my sportswear." I answer.

"Come out this instant!" His tone is commanding.

This man isn't in a good mood today.

I properly shove in my hair into the turban, pick my uniform and walk out of the bathroom stall. The moment my eyes met with his its red, like scary red.

"Stop wasting my time!!!" He bark at me.

I flinch, what did I do wrong now? I stood, tightly squeezing my school uniform in fear. I compose myself, about walking out of the bathroom when he grab hold of my arm.

My entire brain went it panic mood, I know him. No, the entire school know his to be a heartless and hot tempered person even at his old age.

"Stand in front of me." His breath reeks alcohol.

I stood in front of him, silently praying for this nightmare to come to an end. With a weird expression on his face he stares at me intensely. While I did everything possible to avoid his gaze.

All I did is blink and the next thing I felt is his hand on my neck keeping my head in place and his lips on mine. It feels like all my brain cell are in a comalike state and so I'm. He close the space between us, his height towering over me and his sweaty skin against mine. I felt his hand inside my shirt, groping and folding my breast.

I tried moving a body part but the only thing I could move is a finger. I want him to stop whatever his is doing but I'm frozen, its like my feet are rooted to the floor. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, his hand left my breast only to grab a fistful of my buttocks. While I stood, frozen and unable to move, speak or fight back. This went on for some seconds more.

Is there a one million chance that this is just a bad dream? I ask myself.

He pull apart gasping for air.

"Go for sports." He order, trying to catch his breathe.

My vision is blurry but the tears refuse to make their way down my cheeks. I'm waiting on a sign from God that this was just a bad dream. Maybe time would just spin back and change what just happened. Undone all of this, because I feel myself dying from within.

"Are you deaf?" His tone bears disgust.

I finally look up to meet his gaze and I'm unable to breath properly the moment I did. Next I found myself walking back to my classroom. When I step into the classroom, the tears begin to flow. I fall onto my kneels and screamed out NO with every bone in my body.

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I jerk up screaming No and profusely sweating with my heart racing fast than usual. I look around, taking in my surrounding and my eyes fall upon those pair of brown orbs I'm obsessed with staring back at me.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

I broke into tears instead of answering the question or play pretend and say I'm okay. No, I'm no where close to okay I'm on the verge of losing every bit of sanity left.

"He is a monster!" I scream out, sobbing.

"Umm........."

"I hate him!! I hate him!!!" I scream out with all the agony I feel inside.

"Hey, hey...." He rush over to me and pull me onto his chest.

I'm taken aback by his action but I don't have the strength in me to fight. I just want someone to lean on and right now he is the closest thing.

"Shhh.......Its okay." His soothing voice couldn't bring me comfort.

Why did it had to be me? Why did he had to use and throw me away like a toy? Why didn't I do anything to stop him?

"I want him out of my head." I cry out hitting my fisted hands against his chest

"Shh........it was just a bad dream. I promise you, I won't let him anywhere near you." His hand gently caress my back.

Somehow his word, brought a tiny bit of warmth to my heart.

"Keep him far away." I snake my arm around his waist, I felt his muscles tense up a bit before he relax them.

"I would I promise. Its just a bad dream, he won't come anywhere close to you." His hand move up and down my head in a comforting rhythm.

Its not just a bad dream, I watch it happened and it has been haunting me ever since. I just want that moment deleted or cropped out of my life. I just need someone or something to make me forget that day. I would do anything to get him off my mind. If I could crawl out of my skin or switch bodies with someone, I would.

"What's going on here?"

I look over Imran shoulders to see Haider standing at the door entrance with a cold expression. Imran instantly move away from me and that's when it hit me. I was hugging Imran, what was I thinking hugging him?

Astaghfirullah, I seek Allah's forgiveness in my head.

"She was having......"

"I woke up hungry so I was crying." I wipe the tears away with my palm.

Imran gave me a questioning look. He knows I barely cry over anything.

"Right Imran?" I ask looking towards him.

He couldn't hide the confusion on his face. "Right." He force a smile.

"What would my munchkin like to eat? He walks towards me and sit on a chair beside me.

"Anything." I don't have the appetite to eat anything right now.

"Okay......I'd get you something nice.."

"I want to go home." I pout. I hate hospitals, the sterile cleaning smell. It makes me want to throw up every time I'm here.

"You need to rest but lets see if I can get your discharge papers." He stood up.

"Imran please watch over her......"

"How is Imran here?" I interrupt him, I'm confused as to how they are now buddies.

"He came by to check up on you last night." Haider reply.

"Okay..."

"You have a lot of explaining to do young lady, caffeine and aspirin." He raise his brow at me.

"Its......."

"When we get home." He excuse himself.

I and Imran are now alone and the tension is undeniable. He is definitely going to ask questions I don't want to answer.

"Ummm......."

"Can it just be between us." I interrupt him before he could ask any question.

"What just happened.......don't mention any of it to Haider." I plead.

"Okay.....but you are at least going to tell me what your nightmare what about." He took a sit on the chair beside me.

I slump my head into the pillow, why didn't I see a but coming. I can't tell him, he might feel pity for me which would only make me feel worst. Or he might just see me as someone who is broken, between the two I don't know which would feel worst. I'm also not ready to tell and find out.

"A scary movie I watched." I lie, a white lie.

He raise a brow. "So you woke up crying and talking about a bad guy from a scary movie you watched?" He asks, trying to wrap his head around the lie I just told.

"Ye...s"

He stood up, placed his hand on both sides of the bed, trapping me in between.

"You my little cupcake." His voice is low and rough enough to send my mind into a frenzy.

"Are........" He lean in closer to my face. "Such a liar and a terrible one at that." He dominantly stares into my eyes as he speak.

"I'd find out what your nightmare was about one way or another, I promise you." He whisper dangerously into my ears.

He just made a promise.

Squeezing the bedsheets so hard, I don't know if its out of fear or the fact that my heart is about to jump out of its ribcage. He slowly back away from me, not once breaking eye contact with me.

He pick up an apple from the fruit basket beside me.

"Want some apple?" He ask with a smirk plastered across his face.

What the heck?

After almost giving me a heart attack, he ask this. He is so lucky there wasn't anything close by I could throw at him....

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