If Finding Love Was Easy

92 EXPLORER

There was a party being thrown by the sixth years. It was student gossip, kept hushed up in code slangs to prevent the teachers most especially Callous from finding out.

The invitation was open only to seniors and we wouldn't know the location till the very hour it would begin. I was kind of impressed by the clandestine process of it all.

But then Gideon said that it had become a tradition for years now.

Tudor Hall, a mostly senior dominated dormitory, was abuzz by Saturday night.

Mona asked if I was going at dinner, I could hear the excitement and anxiety in her voice. And also saw the abrupt collapse of the former when I shrugged nonchalantly.

“You have to go. Everyone's going, you can't not start the academic year with a reclusive reputation.”

I gave a low mocking laugh. I’d be the happiest person if that's the only reputation I have.

“Classes haven't started so don't even give the homework excuse.” She went on to convince me.

“Alec, it'll be dope as hell. And I promise I won't let you drink… much.”

I couldn't help but chuckle at her persistence. Soon enough Gideon joined her in laying out all the reasons I shouldn't stick out like a sore thumb by not going.

Since the day we met, I’d noticed that Mona and Gideon didn't exactly like or dislike each other.

They seemed to take turns hanging out with me or picking moments to leave when the other was with me.

I didn't understand it. Nor did I want to get in the middle of the matter even if I was enjoying Mona's eccentricities and missed Gideon's sensitive conversations.

But tonight, they were banded under the same cause of getting me to the lagoon which was the furthest unpatrolled landmark within the campus.

The walk down to the lagoon was easy, lined with solar-powered lanterns that give the winding, pebbled walkway a warm yellow glow.

Picking my way down in a spare Nike sneakers I'd brought for sports days, half drowsy from the short nap I'd taken before Gideon had come to wake me by midnight- hours passed lights out.

But it seemed everyone looked drowsy or already drunk off their rockers, around the bonfire.

I was shocked that the security or the faculty wouldn't notice a nine foot burning flames or hear the noise of partying teenagers even if it was at the very edge of the large expanse.

“Oh thank God, you brought him.” Mona was at our side the next minute, pushing a red Solo cup into my hand.

“I told you I would.”

“Don't blame me for not putting much stock in your promises.”

Gideon scoffed and patted my shoulders. “Have fun, mate. I’m going to find the others.” Ian and crew he meant.

“Yeah to join the misogynist movement.” Mona rolled her eyes and I watched him walk forward.

“Hey what's with you and Gideon?”

“I should be asking you that. You didn't seem like the guy to have him as a friend.”

“We've been friends since we were in preschool. I know him better than anyone. He's a good guy.” I drank from the cup and released it was beer.

It fetched a bitter turn in my stomach as it slid down my throat but the ice and the nervous mess I was right here in midst of people who despised the sight of me, made me endure and drink again.

“Well your best bud isn't as good as you think he is. Did you hear what he and his friends did to Christine?”

I arched a brow. “Christine?”

Mona nodded. “Christine Harris, she's in third year now. But she came as a transfer last year and she's rather mature for her age so those perverts got it into their head to play a game with her. Passing her on to the next when one is done.”

I emptied my cup and heaved out. “That's messed up.” I looked to the direction I’d seen Gideon going.

But I was a haze of smoke and silhouetted figures.

“It's disgusting, is what it is. Ian and his boys are pigs like almost all the seniors here and he has the nerve to ask me to sit beside him at service tomorrow.” She sneered.

“Mona!” a redheaded boy calls out, waving his arms in a frenzy way.

Instead, he stumbled over to us, his sneakers tied together by the laces and hanging over his shoulders.

It looked he had taken a deep in the lagoon, his clothes sticking to his damp body and hair dripping wet.

“I’m so glad I found you. Shannon was asking about you.”

“Right,” Mona said, biting her bottom lip and glancing over at me.

She seemed nervous about something, but I was not about to ask what it was with the redhead standing next to us.

I knew I was supposed to know his name, but even though I’ve memorized the entire list of fourth years, I couldn’t remember exactly which one he was.

Gerard? Lemont?

“I’ll talk to her later. For now, point us in the direction of more drinks?”

The redhead was too drunk to care about me, or maybe he just doesn’t recognize me with a shaved head and baggy sweatshirt and shorts.

He pointed us over to a foldable long table that had been hastily piled with glass bottles and cups.

There wasn’t any help here tonight, and it was starting to look like a rich teen party was much the same as a poor teen party, just with much better alcohol.

“I’ll make us some drinks,” Mona said, dragging me toward the table by my wrist.

She let go and started to put together some concoction while I stood there and fidgeted, my eyes searching the beach for potential predators.

After all, I was already used to being hounded and rebuked by looks and words.

The drinks Mona returned was a bottle of Merlot, she seemed all too gleeful carrying practically giggling.

“I snagged this while the sixth years were taking a deep in the water. Come on we'll find a spot.”

We went as close to the docks by the lagoon as possible, intrigued with a plethora of fourth and fifth years at our seniors’ water fight.

Laughter ensued from surprise attacks and dunking maneuvers.

By the lantern, I glimpsed a few familiar faces of the sixth years; Derrick Stewart my roommate in my first year who had taken me as some sort of underling back then.

But he had cut off any friendship we shared after the incident.

Rachel Maslow who was the school's poster student for academic excellence.

I heard she'd interned at Kurstem Industries this summer and got early admittance into Oxford before she's even sat for her O levels.

But it was shocking to see her here and even piggybacking on Otis Drake, our incumbent Head Prefect and school's most notorious playboy.

Her arms were around his neck and face pressed to his neck while he laughed jolly.

“You'd think they stop fooling everyone and get back together.” Mona intoned after a swig.

“She was with him?” I gaped at the sheer surprise of it, my friend nodded, passing the bottle of red to me.

What the hell did someone like her see in a pig head like Otis Drake?

“Unexpected I know but it was sweeter than any daydream watching the cliché most popular boy swoon over the overlooked nerdy girl. That is till the basic stuck up school slut slid in between them.”

Mona pointed at the stunningly pretty girl with long black hair who waded through towards Otis in the skimpiest two piece I'd ever seen.

Even I was impressed by her at that entrance, and what's more so were the entire sixth year guys in the lagoon.

Someone whistled, more guys in the lagoon catcalled and I saw the smug grin on the girl's face.

Because she had Otis' attention and it clearly pissed Rachel.

“Yeah, Shannon really made a mess of Saint-Ambrose's favourite power couple. And worse thing is Otis’s obviously still mad over Rachel.”

Yeah that I couldn't see from behind Shannon swishing her “ladies” in his face.

As I followed Rachel's figure leave the lagoon and dry her blonde hair in a towel, with sympathy at her disillusioned love life, my eyes froze at the end of the lagoon.

He was lying on the banks with dark skinned fifth year, her half naked body straddling his fit upper musculature.

There was no way I could see his face as he made out with the girl, hands up and over her body but I knew it was him.

The tattoo at his hip, visible by his low riding trunks, stood out like a brand even on his dark cocoa skin.

The tattoo of the Deathly Hallows. I could never look that inscription without a second meaning to it.

“Alec, what's wrong? You went a little pale there…” her voice trailed as she followed by line of sight.

“Oh. Lucas Parkway, do you know him?” I was up my feet the next second, dropping the wine bottle to the ground.

“I want to leave.” I swallowed deep breaths in a bid to staunch those flaring memories and panic.

Mona made a face. “What? But you haven't even spent an hour-"

I rubbed a hand over my face trying to wipe out the dreariness of the alcohol in my system, my hands were already shaking. I needed to get the hell out of here before he saw me.

“No, Mona. I'm going back to my dorm… I…I've had enough.” I was already walking away from the lagoon and towards the bonfire.

I was aware that she followed me, possibly asking me what was wrong but my head was blaring with chattering voices, cracklings of flames and laughter getting all too loud by the second.

Why did I agree to come to a party organized by the sixth years? Didn't I know he would be here?

I strolled past the raging bonfire, the heat spitting embers to the ground. But before I could head for the exit, I was tugged back.

“Well, what pray tell do we have here, fellas?” his voice struck a silence through the crowds of seniors as well as in my head.

No. Please no! I tried pulling my hand from his grasp but he was always larger and stronger than me.

“Let go of me.” I growled under my breath, raising a glare to his face. Yup after all this years, Lucas Parkway had only gotten hotter.

Why was the universe always kind to the wicked?

“Why? Don't tell me you're already jizzing your shorts from this. Wouldn't put it past a fag rapist like you.”

Laughter coursed through the crowds as he shoved me so hard I fell back to the ground.

I crouched up but was kicked back down even as Mona yelled at him to stop. He and a few other sixth year boys loomed over me with clear disgust and hate on their faces.

“You shouldn't have come here tonight. I'd hoped you would but I figured you were smart not to, depriving me of the opportunity to beat the s**t out of you.”

“Touch me and guess who's going to be expelled by sunrise.” I challenged bravely, holding my hurting side.

“What, you're going to snitch on me? Who would believe a faggot especially if it's against his victim?” one of them retorted.

“Yeah, fag. It's your word against mine. No one here will side your story.” He kicked me again, with the strength of a soccer player it hurt even worse.

“It's exactly why I would be believed. Why won't the principal believe that you wanted revenge? Kick me again and give me proof.”

I could see that my argument riled him because it was the truth.

His story of what happened would give him a strong motive to hurt me even if I had no one to collaborate it.

“He's right.”

A familiar husky voice sounded from behind them and we glanced to him.

But all I saw was a silhouette of him in front of the bonfire.

“You'd be the first suspect because you have the clearest motive. Let him go, there are other ways to make his life miserable here.”

There was no denying that.

“Alright. Now I don't want to see your face near our parties or anything or I'll make do with my promise regardless of what school rules say.” Lucas threatened and turned away with his group.

I groaned as I staggered to my feet and met his eyes before he too turned away.

Those dark eyes like shiny onyx by the fiery blaze of the bonfire, transfixed but not threatening.

~?~

Sundays at Saint-Ambrose had two separate service for the Catholics and the Protestants; the former held from six a.m. to eight and the latter after breakfast by ten to twelve noon.

But for the first Sundays of every school year, the Catholics joined the rest of the school for Protestant service after breakfast.

It seemed unfair that they'd have to compromise their religion just because it was the national convention.

Even those of us who didn't fit into either were mandated by school rules to still wear our white shirts and navy blue dress pants for service.

Special performances were thrown in at the end of the two and half hour service before the announcements were made.

I hadn't seen Gideon since last night not that I was sure he would want to ruin his image by associating with a pariah like myself.

But I had thought he would at least stop by my room and check on me.

Throughout breakfast and church service, I received glowering stares and derogatory slurs even worse than before yesterday.

Lucas' attack on me had only fueled their dislike for me.

I kept hearing threats of lightning striking me for entering the chapel, even from juniors who ought to give me the respect of a senior.

I shook, not from anxiety and depression but from anger and resentment.

It was bad enough that Lucas had alienated me from my own peers with his lies, turned the faculty’s sight on me to sour and sent me to a madhouse for two years.

Now when I wanted a fresh start, to forget about everything that had nearly cost me my life. He was wrecking even that.

He might've been right saying I shouldn't have come back. But I was still smart to have.

My father had chosen Saint-Ambrose because of it’s high profile education and nurturing of my musical talent.

I'd had the rare opportunity to go to the most prestigious musical art school in the US. But since I had chosen to stay with my Dad after my parents' separation, he had decided to find me the equivalent of what I had given up.

I had chosen to stay with Gideon who was like the brother I never had. Now he was probably uncomfortable or worse ashamed to talk to me.

So when the end of the service was drawing close, I sent a message to where Mona sat on the girls’ side of the chapel.

I had totally ignored her at breakfast this morning. But I needed her for this.

I met up with her in the backrooms that acted like a backstage.

“Hey, are you…”

“Don't worry about that. Worry about killing that high note in Where I Belong.” I cut her off and watched her mouth drop in shock then the rest of her face lit up in excitement.

“Holy s**t, Alec!” she pulled me into an embrace and I laughed, causing a minor scene from others who were participating the small performance.

“You don't have to worry. I’ve practised that song a million times. But what about you, you said you haven't played in a while… aren't you going to be a bit rusty?”

I gave her a glorious smile and rolled up my sleeves, the trepidation of my decision flooding me with an electric shock of adrenaline, and shook my head.

“I’m never rusty at the piano.”

We waited as a few others made their acts to the entire school packed into the pews of the spacious chapel.

Shannon was one of those acts. And truth be told she was skilled at the cello.

A hush fell over the crowd, as she settled in front of them because there’s not a student at this school—first-year or sixth-year alike—that didn't know what the seniors had against me.

Shannon inhaled, tossing her glossy black hair over one shoulder, and flashed a winning smile to the crowd.

She started to play, and I recognized it at once as Beethoven's Concerto in D major.

It was a good choice, and one of my personal favorites.

Shannon, however, just didn’t have the skills to pull it off, not even with her friends from her year accompanying her with their chosen instruments.

I wasn’t going to lie, she was very much into the mood when she played, her eyes half-lidded, that coquettish smirk of hers wiped clean for a brief moment in time.

It made me love the cello that much more, knowing it had the power to ward off hate.

Shannon finished to a standing ovation, bowing and blushing, touching a hand to her chest as her entire classmates thundered their applause and cheered.

When she turned to look at me, her eyes flashed with scorn, and I made sure to give her a wide berth as she passed, moving onstage to the sound of booing and hissing.

“Alright, alright,” Ms. Diaz shouted, standing up and lifting her palms until there was silence.

“Next sound I hear out of someone’s mouth that’s anything but encouraging, and you'll serve communal detention for two weeks.”

She sat back down and nodded for me to continue.

A grateful smile lit my face, and I took a seat at the grand piano.

My heart thundering like the applause a minute ago and the palms of my hands dampened with nervousness.

I shut my eyes as I laid my fingers above those familiar keys.

“Get on with it or get off the stage, faggot!” there was a cacophony of laughter even as I heard a distant scuffle and rebuke.

I started playing. The keys fluid under my touch as the notes soared from my distant memory to my fingertips.

I had chosen this contemporary piece because it had spoken a lot to me as a kid the first time I watched the movie; stating my struggle with being different on so many levels.

It had dazzled the crowds as my talents were exposed as nothing short of extraordinary at that age.

Now I needed to feel that joy and profound exhilaration pumping through me as I played and sang in front of such a hostile audience.

My ears were deafened by my own music and voice as I let it consume me and the entire building.

I looked up to the congregation of students as soon as my verse ended and Mona stepped onto the floor and took over.

I caught their flabbergasted gazes, sparkling as they all but leaned forward in awed and rapt attention to our duet performance.

And Mona, God, she was eclectic.

When she said she had been practicing then it meant she was perfect a million times over.

Her staccato melded into the tunes and my somber extensions of the song.

The song slowed, stopped, and picked its way back to life, the upbeat tune reminiscent of storms on a warm summer day; the cool sunset breeze on your face as if you were flying on the wings of a bird.

I leaned into that feeling, forgetting for a moment where I am, and who was watching me. Only thing that mattered was me and Mona.

The song finished with a little flourish that faded out, softened and descended.

Exhaling, I dropped my arms to my sides and looked out at the audience.

Their faces, right from the principal's private pew to the back row where the teachers looked to barricade the mass of students within the chapel, dropped open and enthralled.

And before I even got a chance to stand up, they were on their feet and applauding, like madmen at a circus under the thrall of a hypnotist.

Mona laughed and beamed winningly as she met me halfway from the piano.

Ms. Diaz clapped, chanting “Brava!” like Mona and I had just performed at the opera.

Eat your heart out Saint-Ambrose.

We both bowed and I raised my face to see that a few of the fifth years and more half of sixth years didn't stand or join in the ovation.

But they watched me with a certain level of appreciation that was impossible to hide.

My face flushed with both excitement and embarrassment.

It had been a while since I stood before an appreciative audience and I needed a second to get used to it.

Mona and I didn't go back to our seats in the chapel because Ms. Diaz had asked us to wait behind till after the announcements were given.

“Oh my God, Alec! That was… that was…”

I nodded and exhaled another heavy breath, wiping my sweaty palms against my pants and initiated my breathing routine.

“I know. Who'd have thought they would like that old thing.”

“Wow, aren't you the star of the show.” Mona taunted and I couldn't help but notice her arm still looped with mine. “If only my sister could see me now, singing with Alec Kapet.” and she squealed even more.

Distantly we could hear the announcement being made over the din of the chapel, the microphone blaring out the principal's speech for the start of the year and Ms. Diaz's Christmas Carol show committees.

Then the students were dismissed back to their dormitories. The noise of chattering and amazement following them out.

We decided to wait for Ms. Diaz out in the parking lot of the chapel so that she'd see us and remember she told us to wait.

Yeah she was known to be forgetful.

As we came into sights of exiting students, we got impressed and dazed looks, thumbs ups and congratulatory comments from students who passed us.

I didn't look at any of them, paying them the least mind as I had before my performance.

Now that they saw that, they were mindlessly moving to familiarize with me.

Pretentious t***s was saying too little of them. So I left it to Mona to respond to their praise. Let them think I was vainglorious or whatever.

Some sixth years, those not in the inner circle of the popular crowd threw us nods of their appreciation.

Rachel Maslow even came up to us, looking so sunny as the summer, her hazel green eyes shining. It was an irresistible moment not to look her way and smile back at her.

“That was… I didn't believe I've heard anyone sing like you till I remembered where I'd heard that song played like that before. You're Alençon Kapet.”

I nodded with a slight smile. “Call me Alec, please.”

“I don't know want to say.” She was clearly star struck and coming from the academic celebrity of the school, was saying much.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“Liked it? I freaking loved it and so did the entire school.”

I shrugged and Mona stepped in. “He's humble, this one.”

Rachel chuckled and started to say something but then someone called her. “Rachel, what are you doing?”

Among the five sixth years standing by the large oak tree, I recognized Shannon, Otis and of course Lucas. I paid little mind to their daunting presence so close to us.

“What does it look like I'm doing?” Rachel snapped back at Shannon, with a narrowed glare at her.

“Rachel, we have prep class to get to. Come on.” Otis walked over to take her hand, smiling like those airhead prince charming Disney sold every preschool kid on.

But Rachel pulled away from his touch, shifting her pose so that she faced us more than him.

“Yes I know. I'm surprised you're even going, don't you have some secret shindig or something to be at.”

Otis frowned, hurt by her rejection but cautious to let it show it bothered him much. “No I told you I'd come, didn't I?”

Rachel sighed and glanced at her watch. “Whatever.” And she turned back to Mona and I, smiling warmly but regrettably.

“I’m sorry but I’ve got O level prep classes to get to. It was nice meeting you, Alec.” She waved as she joined her classmates even if they weren't really her crowd.

I heard Shannon's disgruntled voice. “Why didn't you beat the teeth out of that kid, Lucas? He totally messed up my debut.”

Rachel piped back. “He's really something to get a rise of jealousy out of you, queen superficial.”

“Wow, Rachel Maslow just defended you.” Mona nudged me with her elbow. “You really stuck it to Lucas for last night, he was looking at you weirdly.”

I just shrugged. But on the inside I was gloating at the entire turn of events.