THE NIGHT BEFORE
472 Words
The night before the divorce was final, I couldn't sleep.
Not because I was anxious. Not because I was sad. Because I was happy, and I didn't know what to do with it.
Julian was asleep beside me, his arm draped across my waist, his breathing slow and even. The apartment was dark. The city was quiet.
I slipped out of bed and went to the window.
Five years. Five years of waiting. Five years of anger. Five years of building walls so high that no one could reach me.
Tomorrow, it would be over.
Tomorrow, I would be free.
I heard Julian stir behind me.
"Maya?"
"Can't sleep."
He crossed the room. Stood beside me at the window.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Everything. Nothing." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I keep waiting for something to go wrong."
"Nothing's going to go wrong."
"You don't know that."
"I know that you've spent five years waiting for the other shoe to drop." He put his arm around me. "Maybe it's time to stop waiting."
I looked up at him.
"What if I don't know how?"
"Then I'll teach you." He kissed my forehead. "Starting tomorrow."
---
The next morning, I woke up to sunlight and the sound of Julian singing in the shower.
I lay in bed, listening. He was terrible. Off-key. Completely unself-conscious.
I smiled.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd smiled first thing in the morning.
Julian came out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist, water still dripping down his chest.
"You're staring," he said.
"You're singing."
"I'm celebrating."
"Celebrating what?"
He crossed the room. Sat on the edge of the bed.
"Today, Maya Chen becomes Maya Chen again." He took my hand. "That's worth celebrating."
I looked at our hands. His fingers intertwined with mine.
"Maya Chen," I said.
"Maya Chen."
"It sounds strange."
"It sounds like you." He kissed my knuckles. "It sounds like home."
---
Vanessa came over at noon.
She was carrying a bottle of champagne and a box of pastries from the bakery around the corner.
"I thought we should celebrate," she said.
"The divorce isn't final until the judge signs."
"The judge signed this morning. Helen called me." Vanessa set the champagne on the counter. "You're free, Maya. For real this time."
I stared at her.
"Free," I said.
"Free."
Vanessa hugged me. Then Lena hugged me. Then Julian hugged me. Then we all stood in my kitchen, crying and laughing and drinking champagne at noon on a Tuesday.
"I can't believe it's over," I said.
"It's not over." Julian put his arm around me. "It's just beginning."
I looked at him. At Lena. At Vanessa. At the people who had stayed, who had believed in me, who had helped me become someone new.
"Okay," I said. "Let's begin."
- Writer
