I don't want to get too deeply into the details, but I did some dangerous and stupid stuff. The first time, I was so fed up with my inability to have s*x in college that I hired a male escort. He came to my house, he generally worked for homosexual men so it didn't really bother him that much. But it was hardly passionate and made me feel disgusting. He didn't want me. He wanted money. So yeah, that's how I lost my virginity. At least it gave me some pent up aggression to release on the unsuspecting people at work.
Another time I went to a public park and walked into a small wooded area and disrobed. I watched people run and a group of women in an outdoor yoga class while I m*********d and felt sick to my stomach. I don't even know why I did that, it just made me feel like I belonged in t
