Finding The Light

Winter Solstice

Belle

I am now on my 20th sun cycle. I have horrible dreams every night now.

‘Screams everywhere, screams surrounded me. I opened my eyes and saw the skies had turned an ashen colour of grey. Age old volcanoes in the north and south spat fire into the skies above. The skies called out and let us have their acid rain here in the land in which I inhabit.The sickening green rain created reflective pools oozing clouds of mist. The fire was eating away at everything in its path. Thatched houses swallowed up in my flames. The smoke billowing from the towns of Eire. The blaze flickering red and blue. The flames licked all of the flowers, cattle & the offerings of my feast day. I can see a white light ascending from the sky. A godlike being approaching me. He took my hand and pulled me awake. ‘Dadga’ I thought. ‘

I sat up in my bed. Weighed down by my quilt. I wipe my face with my hand as the cold sweat lingers on my forehead. I can feel the heat rising in my bed pulling me and shifting me. As though I am in the canoe of life swaying on the river, guided by blue liquid to the Underworld. Faoin Domhan. ‘Bel you must be warned, you cannot skip the que. You must wait as all the other souls meet their fate’. The unfamiliar voice rushed around me. Choking me.

I shook my head and I looked around my sister and I’s room assessing the situation. The night air is cold and it feels dark. Airmed’ plants cover the walls throughout the room. Dandelions paint our floor. ‘Airmed, it’s time’ I whispered softly. I crawl out of bed. The cold morning grass touches my bare feet. I walk to the pane of reflective glass my mother created. I sit crossed legged in front of the glass. I comb my hair with my fingers. My golden curls sparkling in the soft moonlight. I crush some berries from the closest bush and smear them on my lips, leaving a light shade of red. I use crushed turf and coal to darken my eyes ever so slightly. I stand up and slide on my orange gown and cape with shades of gold throughout. The cape shows my new tattoos of gold symbols. I have gotten a new tattoo since my 16th sun cycle. Gold celtic knots up my arms. I place my crown of dandelions on my freshly combed hair. The dandelions are still sleeping quietly.

I shook my sister. She groans as she rises from her slumber. She throws on her green gown. Combing her hair messily. Ériu my mother enters the room ‘We need to be leaving soon’ claimed Ériu spotting my sister ruining her hair. ‘Let me do that’ grabbing my sister's hair, tying it quickly into a goddess knot so it is out of her face. My brother Aengus Óg stands in the entrance to our room. Dressed head to toe in yellow garments. ‘You two are real Goddess’, always have to keep everyone waiting.’ said Aengus Óg. ‘Well you wouldn't understand what is expected of a Goddess now would you?’ snapped Airmed. Whilst she paints her face with berries, turf & coal. Airmed throws on her green shimmering cape mimicking my mothers.

‘Are you forgetting something, Airmed?’ questioned Ériu. ‘I never forget, it’s here somewhere’ stated Airmed searching through a berry bush. ‘Found it!’ she shouted. She pulls her crown made of weeds out of the bushes and places it on her head. She faces us and courtesies. ‘Ready’ she smirked. ‘Finally!’ claimed Lir, my mothers consort, now peering in the entrance way. ‘Aengus Óg do send word to Danu, we’re on our way.’ I slid on my gold slippers before leaving my room. I ran down the stone stairs with my brother & sister close on my heels. ‘I won't be late’ I shouted through the house. We all exit our home into the cold night air. The stars sparkling above us. My mother uses the wind to propel us to Newgrange. ‘ The other clans are waiting on us, Gods are never late’ said Ériu.

As we land at Newgrange, it is light by moonlight. The villagers stand waiting with sticks of fire to rid themselves of the darkness the night can bring. At Newgrange stood all of the Gods new and old. Ériu stood in front of Newgrange facing the horizon. Her golden crown glinting in the moonlight. ‘After me Belle’ my mother stated. She raised her hands to the sky, closing her eyes to concentrate. ‘Just like that, now really focus Belle, you are light, you need to start acting like it!’ ordered Ériu. I closed my eyes. Picturing the warmth of the sun. I raised my hands slowly, facing the sky. I could feel the heat leaving my finger tips , climbing out of me and into the air. As I opened my eyes, I could see the sky waking.

Little Fíonn and Darcy of Clan Cú Chulainn, the irish twins were beside me. Fíonn, in his yellow robes, held on to my arm as we were willing the brightness to life. Darcy, in her dark blue gown & cape, was yawning as she was putting the stars to sleep with my aunt Rhiannon at her side. Rhiannon lowered her arms and the moon faded away. The shepherds hour sky changed from deep violets to bursting magentas. Airmed awoke the wild flowers with a snap of her fingers. ‘Even though I’m the eldest, she always had a way with flowers’ I thought as she sprinkled the morning dew on each petal. Brigid, Airmed & Artio kissed the grass which awoke everything. The grass and trees shook with happiness as Ériu sent a gust of wind to warm the air whilst the sun rose.

Darcy was fully asleep now in the arms of her mother whilst Fíonn was moving the clouds to allow the warmth of the sun to reach the flowers. I lifted my hands again a little more forcefully until the sun was visible. All the Gods new and old, with the people could see the light hit the stonehenge. They rejoiced.

Danu was there in her white shimmering dress, white tattoos and a crown around her head of white daisies untouched by the seasons. The other Gods & Goddesses bowed in her honour. She smiled at us and thanked us for making this solstice so special. As it is nearing my 21st sun cycle- meaning I am soon to take over from my mother, Ériu. It is tradition as my mother before me took over from Danu.

Danu walked towards me ‘ You look like a Goddess, you almost look as good as myself’ spoke Danu. We laughed together. Danu, my grandmother and the most respected woman in all of our lands Éire, Tir Na N’Og, even Faomh Domhain. She is respected by all the Fey, Gods and Goddesses, the clans of Éire still make wreaths for her during Imbolc. They water flowers in her honour as she kisses the ground and brings them to life with her daughter Brigid, Brigid's daughter Artio and of course my sister Airmed. It had been a long time since Dagda had passed.

He still has such an effect on all the people of our lands. As of late he has been visiting me in my dreams. I can’t make sense of them yet. However, I will soon enough.I watch my sister closely as Aoibhell and Airmid talk to a towns boy. She twirls her hair in her fingers. He hands Airmed the flower that had fallen from her hair. She spots me looking at her. I shoot her a questioning look. Her and Aoibhell burst out laughing and skipped back towards us. I was given the name Belle for my festival of rebirth, Beltane May 1st by Danu and the Dagda. I am now the symbol of the beginning of Summer in Éire.

A deep red cloud rolls in, Puca’s laughing on the edge of the cloud.Everyone is in a defensive position now. Especially Lugh, my consort. The God of Sky and War. He runs to me and stands in front of me. Lugh's spear is at the ready. Ériu and Danu try to force the cloud away. It’s no use. It’s dark magic. I freeze in my tracks as I realise what’s happening. Thunder cracks as I can’t control myself. It lights the silhouette of the God Aed. The God of the underworld. Rhiannon, Bec and Airmed are gathering the young gods that are too eager to fight. Aengus Óg scoops Caer up and takes her to the rest of the Gods. Caer is the Goddess of sleep and Dreams, so she’s always sleeping. Badb Catha flies readily over us. Dian Cecht and Lén stand in battle positions on either side of our group. In front of the townspeople. Danu rises up to the clouds with Ériu and Brigid. They are covered in a complete and shocking white light.