The next morning...
1489 Words
I half stir from sleep as I become vaguely aware of the distant sound of cars driving past. It’s obviously early to mid-morning if I can hear traffic.
Despite it being the weekend, the road outside is one of the main roads into the town we live on the outskirts from, and as a general rule, there’s always a steady flow of traffic regardless of the time of day.
Even though I have my eyes closed, I squint my eyelids tight together and frown as my brain slowly kick starts itself into functioning. As it does so, my consciousness starts to fully return and my eyes open wide as my memory jolts to the unopened pregnancy test in the bathroom, patiently waiting for me to get up and dip it in my pee.
According to the helpful, but slightly bizarre pregnancy test lady in Tesco last night, it’s best to do these things with a sample of your first wee of the day, as its more concentrated and will contain more of the pregnancy hormone, or something.
Either way, this morning is the ideal time to do the deed and collect my wee in a little cup.
I reach over and grab my phone – its 7:30am, not as late as I thought it was, and I feel a flash of mild irritation that Im up so early on my weekend off.
I turn around slowly and look at Gaz, who’s still peacefully sleeping, the lucky bugger.
Ah well, I can wait for a little while until he’s up. I sit up slightly and scoot my bum up so I’m half sat, half lay as I reach over my bedside table again and grasp the remote the PlayStation 3 that’s been set up in our room ever since we upgraded to the ps4 which stays downstairs in the living room. Out of habit, I turn the console on and go immediately to Netflix, and put on Big Bang Theory. I spend a few moments staring at the screen without taking in any of the words, movements or actions of the programme.
It’s a good episode, one of my favourites – the one where Sheldon meets Amy for the first time.
I blink and force myself to focus on the screen as Sheldon is blackmailed by soiled hosiery into meeting Amy at the coffee house.
It’s no use – the only thing I can think about is that f*****g box in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the sink. As I try to force my attention back on the TV in front of me, I feel a small twinge in my bladder, and my brain politely knocks at my consciousness and alerts me to the fact I need a wee.
Are you kidding me??? No, bugger off bladder, I’m sure we can wait half an hour until 8am, when its more acceptable to wake Gaz and go for a wee to take the test then.
I furrow my eyebrows as I try to concentrate on the words that the actors are saying “if you’re being literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.”
This is one of my favourite moments in this episode, but it doesn’t help, the only thing that I can concentrate on is the ever increasing pressure that’s being placed on my bladder, and within 5 minutes, I’m pretty sure that if I don’t go for a wee soon, I’m actually going to burst.
I look over at Gaz again and sigh.
That’s it, I’m doing it, I can’t cope any longer I think to myself as I carefully get out of bed and walk into the bathroom.
I grab the box, the small glass that we’d prepared the night before, ready for today and pulled down my not so pretty (but very comfortable) granny pants and sat my ass on the toilet.
I open the box and pull out the instructions – its pretty much as the lady last night had said – pee in a cup, and dip the test in for 20 seconds. During this time the control line will appear and it can take up to 3 minutes for the test line to appear (if I am pregnant). After 10 minutes however, the test result becomes invalid should the second line appear due to the possibilities of the urine causing evaporation lines.
I don’t really understand what that means, but I get that I need to read the results between 3 and 10 minutes, so that’s good enough.
I pull a face and shrug as I put the instructions on the windowsill next to me, and reach into the box for the actual test. I turn it around and examine it for a few moments – ironically, it seems harmless enough.
Well, it all seems easy enough to do, and I guess there’s no time like the present so I get my phone and set ready on the timer app, grab the glass, put it in-between my legs and take a deep breath as I mentally prepare myself for the next 3 – 5 minutes.
After a few seconds of nothing happening however, I look down and frown, where the hell is my wee?? I’m sure I was desperate for a piss not 3 minutes before, where has it gone? It can’t just disappear, surely? I pull a face at the empty glass, sigh deeply and look aimlessly around the room, trying to remain patient. The walls are nothing special – in fact the lining paper is peeling because of the damp that the landlady hasn’t gotten around to fixing yet. I notice that there’s a spider-web in the corner of the room, and I look around, noting that the resident spider is nowhere to be seen.
I sigh in annoyance, right, enough now I think, reaching over and turning the sink tap on slightly, listening to the water as it trickles down the sink.
It takes a few seconds, but my bladder responds, and the tiniest bit of wee trickles into the toilet. Swiftly followed by what must be the most aggressive, fastest wee I’ve ever had in my life!
It catches me completely off guard, and as-well as going into the glass as planned, it also covers my hand and wrist. Oh for f**k sake! I think, scrunching my nose and putting the glass on the windowsill and reaching for the toilet paper. I wipe my hand quickly and grab the test, taking a deep breath as I do so.
With a shaking hand, I dip the test in the wee and count to 20, watching as the first control line appears and takes its place proudly, bright pink.
I put the test next to the glass of wee and press the start timer button on my phone, and watch it unblinking, taking unsteady, nervous breaths as it counts up from 00.00 to 03.00 minutes.
The closer it gets to 03.00, the slower it seems go.
I can’t deal with this; how the hell can time go backwards?? I feel a knotting sensation in my stomach.
Why the f**k am I so scared?? We’ve talked about the fact we both want kids at some point soon (by soon, I mean within the next year or so), and we decided we were going to sit down and discuss starting to try for a baby after the wedding next year. As a general rule, we had briefly agreed that we would stop using all forms of contraception from the night of the wedding onwards and see what happened.
After what feels like a lifetime, the bleep of my phone drags me back into the present; the 3 minutes is done.
This is it. I think, putting down the phone and reaching for the test, closing my eyes as I grab it.
With the test grasped tightly in my hand, held close against my leg, I breathe deeply and focus on the feeling of my whole body shaking – come on Clewley, open your eyes and look I urge myself.
After a few more seconds of my eyelids seemingly glued shut, the little pep talk I gave myself seems to kick in; and I slowly but surely open my eyes and taking a big gulp of air, I tighten my muscles, move my neck and look down, my eyes focusing on the test in front of me.
There it is – as clear as the daylight outside of the window. That second pink line.
Oh my God; I’m pregnant.
- Writer
