BELIEVE IN SILENCE {AL-YUMINUN BIALSAMT}

Dream Terror

Riffat was sitting beside me near the window. He was excited to meet zeh or is it ,i guess. The flight attendant instructed to wear the seat belt.I noticed a lady ,she was the same lady i used to see whenever I went out by myself. Yep it she is my bodyguard. Amusing right. Abbu would never let me go alone.Abbu hired a bodyguard and didn't even told me about it.She used to secretly protect me since childhood,once she saved me from car accident. From that day i used to notice her every where. I told ammi about her ,i was so scared she was stalking me everytime that's when ammi told me that she was a female bodyguard Zara ,hired by Abbu for my protection. Well i know the reason for their overprotective behaviour.That incid...

"Baji aap meri madat kare na. mujhe ye seat belt lagane nahi aa raha hain" riffat asked for help in an innocent and childish tone taking me out of thinking.

(Sister help me I'm not able buckle the seat belt)

My brother Riffat Yidiz is 7 yrs old.He is treasure to me. Cuz of him I'm in good health now. Im his elder sister but he is the one who always protected me from the fear.In short he is an angel sent by Allah to me.

The flight started taking off.I closed my eyes tightly and tried thinking something which would make me feel better.To my utter disappointed it my no use.The sound of it taking off was so overwhelming for me that i started trembling,my hand were sweating,my heart beat started to run faster than the cheetah.I covered my ears not wanting to hear any sound anymore while my eyes were still closed.It became worse i started getting headache i was hearing all my family voices saying u are useless,it would be better if you died there....so many unbearable words that i once heard by some or the other person.I tried to open my eyes but failed. To my relief suddenly it became silent. But i never knew this was calm before the Storm.It was pitch black i saw 12 yrs old myself running barefoot ,my legs was aching, the stones were pricking my legs.Please allah not again please ,i was recitating surah and dua countinosly in my mind while crying in silence.I was so tired i wanted to stop running.To make it worse i heard a voice"Princess, meri pyari princess kahan ho tum, ab Luka chuppi bohut ho gayi bahar aa jao".

(Princess my dear princess , where are you , let's finish this hide and seek game, come out )

That voice was coming from far away but that doesn't helped me with the fear which was engulfing me from inside after hearing that voice. I started to run more faster ,tears was overflowing from my eyes which was making the front road unclear."Ya allah meri madat Karo ,mein ab se 5 times namaz padhungi ,hafiz sahab ko nahi saata ungi , Abbu ammi ki har baat sunungi aap bas mujhe bachalo pls allah" i pleaded allah.Ya allah please..

(Dear God, please help me , i will perform 5 times salah , i will not prank or misbehave with teacher, i will listen to my parents but please save me )

I jumped awake when i realised it was a dream .My head was heavy and beside me riffat was crying. Before i could think ,say or analyze what was going on. Riffat hugged me tightly.I asked him why he was crying with all my strength as it was drained after that dream.

"Baji aap theek tho ho na... ,aap roo rahe the.. jabse aur mere ...bolane pe koi ....jawab nahi de rahe the.. mein bohat da..ar Gaya ...tha"he was sobbing nonstop and was not able to talk properly. Actually Riffat never saw me having dream terrors or nightmares.He must have been very scared seeing me like this.I shouldn't have brought him with me when i knew something thing like this was gonna happen ,i was mentally scolding myself.I calmed riffat and gave him glass of water.He was so tired after crying that he slept.

(sister are you okay... you are crying.. and you... was not answering me... when I was calling you ..I was soo ...scared )

Others was asking me if i was ok.The flight attendant gave me a glass of lemon juice and Zara also asked me if i was fine.They asked if i needed a doctor... Well you guys waana know how I'm feeling right now.I am so damn embarassed that i could die now for creating a scene.

I'm sure that Zara is going to tell abbu and ammi about it and I'm doomed, from now on they are never goona let me go alone but how am I alone when Zara follows me everytime like a shadow.And riffat also saw me like this.I am phychology student yet I'm unable to help myself, i should keep myself in check from now on. Aah... I'm such a useless friend ,im going to New York to be there for zeh but instead causing others problem.

After full time lecturing myself i didn't even realised that we landed safely.I thanked allah for safe landing and not letting my fear take me again.

In car, on the way to zeh's house i was been scolded whole time on phone by ammi n Abbu.Thanks to my Angel brother for saving me or else my ears would be bleeding till now.I don't ever understand that why are they always scolding me ,i mean i was the one who went through that terror and yet I'm the one who is been scolded.Shouldn't they love me more.Ya allah i don't know hmmm..or do they think i was the one who created the problem??Well it was me but it wasn't my fault.