Sunlight shines through the tall windows onto my face at just the right angle to disturb me from my peaceful slumber. No surprise that Lazarus is already gone and his side of the bed cold. I feel worn out despite just waking. My eyes are burning from staying up to chat with Lazarus last night, but it was definitely worth every single minute. I would do it again, a thousand nights in a row if it meant fixing the hurt in my soul and making us closer. Not just for the sake of my sanity, but for our child's future, a future the child won't have if I don't get it together. Everytime I say that, a wave of disbelief washes over me. A child. Maybe, I should have said something last night to Lazarus, but I cannot change that now. I need to get it together. I can only hope the steps I've taken so fa
