Chapter 4:
1168 Words
The move from back there to California could it be a good thing or a bad thing but like I don't know yet. Life's going pretty good as it seems but we all know something always has to pop up to ruin the positivity at one point, it's all a matter of time. Megan was my best friend in California, well,kinda my only friend but still I would like to think I have more than just one friend. Everyone is talking about
The cute guy and I don't understand what's the huge deal about this guy, or any
famous person in general. But Megan
is dating Taylor finally! She told me
and I low key freaked cause they are
adorable together. Megan plans to fly
to LA to see him in the winter and I told
her that I would go with her because
it's close to where I lived, so I can visit
family and friends and of course meet
Taylor. We have school tomorrow
and I'm gonna finally try to meet this
Handsome cute guy everyone's talking about! He must get stalked or
something because I mean, everyone
talks about him. I just hope that I
don't turn to one of those obsessed
girls because I would be annoyed of
myself. This move to California is
great in a way because I met Megan
and I can meet new people along
with new experiences throughout it
all! Hopefully, my time here comes
with great things and not bad things.
Throughout my life, times have been
hard and I'm sure everyone has gone
through bad times and I get that also
hard for everyone but it's harder for
me because I take things in differently.
I just expect everything to go well and
when it doesn't that's when I really feel
hurt, my mom's death made me a different person and helped me to realize that no one is promised tomorrow so I have to live
one day at a time but live it out to the
greatest extent. And that's what I plan
to do with the rest of my life. Enjoy it to the fullest!!!
I press my forehead against the cool
surface of the mirror, as I try to forget
about the world surrounding me and
focus on my eyes only. They are a light
shade of blue, and if you look closer
you will be able to detect the small
specks of grey hidden within them.
They are the only things I truly love
about myself. Although the blue color is
faded and faint now it will turn into a
deep blue sea of broken dreams when
my eyes water. That is when they are
most beautiful - that is when I'm most
beautiful.
Someone once told me that beauty is in
the eyes of the beholder. I don't believe
that. I believe that beauty is a twisted
version of what it once used to be. I am not that beautiful. I'm plain and
boring and if I was a fruit I would be
the rotten apple in the fruit bowl that
everyone desperately avoids.
I don't use makeup - not because I
don't want to, but because I don't
know how to use it and I'm simply too
embarrassed to ask Megan for help.
My hair is a constant mess that
resembles a haystack more than
anything else. I haven't got a haircut in
Over a year, for no reason.
Plain is the first word that comes to
mind, as I take in my reflection in the
floor to ceiling mirror, in the corner
of my room. But plain is soon replaced
with ugly. That is when I turn my eyes
from the reflective surface and head
for my bed instead. I need comfort - in
any shape or form that I can get it in.
I settle on Netflix -it contains fewer
calories than the tub of ice cream that
I know my Uncle has stashed in the
freezer downstairs.
Call me childish, but I love to watch
Cinderella inspired movies. It comforts
me in my depressed state to know that
the protagonist is always going to end
up with Prince Charming and that no
matter how hopeless everything looks
in the middle the movie is always going
to have a happy ending. Real life isn't
like that. Real life is hard and cruel and
bone crushingly honest. There is almost
never a Prince Charming waiting
around the corner and if you are, after
a lifetime of searching, lucky enough
to find him it will almost always end
up sadly. Did you know that fifty-three
percent of all US marriages end in
divorce?
As the opening credits to the movie
rolls across my computer screen, I flip
my phone in my hands. Mindlessly I
press the home button on my phone
and watch as the screen comes to life.
I don't know what I was expecting; any
kind of life signs from Jason, I guess.
I haven't even realize how dependent
I've gotten to our daily chats and his
used-to-be annoying messages, until I
lock the phone again and toss it across
my bed as I let out a frustrated sigh.
This is unlike me. I don't depend on
anyone, but myself, simply because
it'll only lead to disappointments and
broken hearts. So why on earth have I
gotten so hung up on this boy and his
stupid chat messages?
It doesn't take long before I'm crawling
across the bed to retrieve my phone
again. There is still no unanswered
messages shown on the start screen,
but just to make sure that I haven't
missed any I unlock my phone and
click on the f*******: icon my home
screen. It takes a while for the app to
load, but once it does it goes directly
to my conversatiorn with Jason. The
last message in our conversation has
received over three hours ago, but to
make sure that the app isn't fooling me
I reload the app twice. It's a complete
waste of time though; there's still no
new message in our conversation.
I'm frustrated beyond doubt that the
silence between Jason and I have been
dragged on for so long. I think I've
gotten too used to his constant nagging
that haunts me even in class and in
my sleep. I used to think it was rather
annoying that he never stopped, but
now that he hasn't chatted me for
a while I feel as if I've lost a part of
myself. Ever since the friend request
it has been Jason who has started all
of our conversations, but the silence
between us makes me feel so hollow
that I decide to cast off all unwritten
rules and take a chance by being the
one to start the conversation up again,
for the first time.
I closed my eyes, and messaged him asking why he hasn't replied my messages for two days, I waiting for a reply till I slept off.
- Writer
