All Things Bright

Snow

2027 ‖ Washington D.C., MD

The supermarket seems humongous and bright next to the dull street lights throwing dusty orange jelly onto the car park. He feels car keys in his hand and once he looks to his right, he sees a black Audi standing there. Cameron's face reflects in the clean window but the person looking back at him, makes him jump.

He hardly recognizes himself.

He touches his skin and lets his fingers glide over his jawline. It's edgier than usual, his eye bags shimmer purple and sharp stubbles cover his chin. The hair on his head is shorter and his lips cracked. 

He looks older.

His body feels older.

Cameron's legs feel weak and he has to lean against the car - his car - to stop himself from falling over. He is dreaming. But how can he be aware of it? Something plops into his mind.

Lucid dreaming. 

Sonny had once explained it to him. It#s a state your body can be in where you're aware that you are sleeping and you can control the dream as you wish. Cameron had never experienced lucid dreams before. And he didn't expect them to be this realistic. Too realistic for his taste.

>>D. C. was the city he chose to start over. He didn't know why, it had just felt right to come here and forget everything that had caused this overwhelming, numbing pain that had sent his body and mind into a constant state of exhaustion. Luckily he had found a job quickly and now everything seems to fall back into place. But the pain is still present.>Sushi and beer. Toilet paper. Treats for Toby.>AXE?>He's never been to this area before but he met a new client today. Usually, he makes a home visit for the first meeting to get an idea of their surroundings and habits. He has to hurry though, the supermarket will close in twenty minutes.>AXE.<<

'No goddammit, shut the f**k up!'

He grabs a pack of 6 and goes to one of the cash registers. The line is short. In front of him are an old man buying juice and dark chocolate and a tall Latina who is handing over her credit card. Money. Cameron's hands rush over the pockets of his jeans but he finds his wallet in his leather jacket instead, next to his phone. Right. He is an adult now. He opens it to check its contents. 30 dollars, ibuprofen, his apartment keys and a picture of his dog. That's it? Cameron always carries a group picture of him, Sonny and some other friends from high school. Why would he take it out?

"$14.98, paying with cash or by card?" The voice tears him out of his thoughts and when he looks up, his eyes widen in shock.

"Kaz!?"

The young man freezes for a second. "Do I know you?"

'What? No. No! Yes of course you do, you i***t!'

"I..." Kaz tiredly raises an eyebrow but as Cameron continues to stare at him, his expression changes.

"Wait, are you here to..." He looks around and then lowers his voice. "... buy something?" What? "Yes?"

He's in a supermarket after all. With groceries. At the cash register. What else could he want to do? Climb onto the counter and throw dog treats at the other customers like a monkey does with its own feces?

"Alright. My shift's almost over. Meet me in half an hour behind the containers." Cameron doesn't know what he is talking about but nods anyway. 

"So cash or card?" He looks at his groceries and then pulls out the money with nervous fingers.

~~~~~~~~~~

The air is thick and cold. Weak lights, plastered against the concrete wall, force their dirty glow through the darkness of the evening. Looking up into the sky, it takes Cameron a while to find the moon. Not a single star is in sight. The city's illuminated nightlife pushes away everything else. 

The intruder in his brain keeps reminding him that Toby is probably very hungry right now and that Cameron would rather be anywhere else than here, standing next to the overflowing dumpsters, waiting for Kaz.

When he saw him, his heart froze. The fact that Kaz didn't remember him - again - probably comes from his own brain processing yesterday's events. But he would be lying if he said, it didn't hurt.

"So, how much?"

Cameron jumps a little, he hadn't heard Kaz' approaching footsteps but now he is standing there, right in front of him, his hands buried in the pockets of his oversized hoodie.

"How much what?"

A confused frown takes over Kaz' face. "w**d, duh. I thought you wanted to buy some."

The air gets stuck in Cameron's throat. w**d? 

"I...no, I wanted...I..." "Ah. He hasn't told you yet. I don't sell snow anymore. He cut the supplies after he noticed that I kept stuff for myself. I need some too, actually."

Only now he realizes that Kaz seems nervous. And that the bags under his eyes are even bigger than his own. The skin has an unhealthy pale color and he isn't just skinny anymore, he is tiny. Kaz seems to be drowning in that hoodie like a porcelain doll thrown into an oil puddle. His eyes, that Cameron loves to stare into whenever he gets the chance, are dull like the street lights. How did he not notice all of these things earlier?

"I haven't had some in way too long, I was barely able to get up today. Do you happen to know where I can get some? " "I don't...I don't. Sorry."

Kaz face changes into stone-cold anger. "Well then what do you want? f**k off! And tell him to suck my a*s, that b***h can go to hell." Cameron breathes in sharply. He can't stand seeing him like this any longer. How did this happen? His crush a cocaine addict? What kind of f****d up dream is this?

"Dude, GO!"

He slowly turns around and starts walking. He wants to run, away from this horrifying scene, but his legs are too heavy.

When he finally reaches his car, he grabs his keys and opens the front door to sit down. His stomach starts turning upside down. Cameron lets his head fall onto the steering wheel. He takes a deep breath. 

This isn't real. This is just a dream. Nothing of this is actually happening.

And then the colors fade out into black.