Can't Find My Way

Chapter 6: Pilgrimage (Arthur)

I’m in the middle of a forest in my astral form looking for my love; Micah. Delphin told me that her soul is somewhere in this town; wandering but where could she be???

I still can’t forget what I saw earlier; that black horse. It was stunning and creepy in its own way; I can still remember how it looked at me with those empty scarlet eyes before it spread its wings and flew away.

On the other hand, looking for my one and only true love feels like forever, I’ve climbed mountains, hills, and crossed a river, a lake but still no sign of her; where could she be???

I continued my journey out of the forest, I guess no soul would like to go into that place and got lost. And then I saw it again that black horse, it flew right in front of me like I was not there, it almost knocked me down, luckily my instincts acted well enough to dodge but I must say that horse looks frightening and majestic at the same time and then it hit me; well not physically though, I can remember now! I saw that creature before, way back when I was having amnesia and walking alone in the park, I was clearly sure that those were visions of the past but this seems wrong if I’m not mistaken that was the first time I saw a black horse with black wings and with empty scarlet eyes.

Is that what they mean when they told me that I could see? Does seeing the future part of it? Nah! I’m probably just thinking too much.

I went on and noticed that the streets are pretty empty, it’s like I’m in a ghost town or something; this is like a perfect setting for filming zombie films that are starting to get popular nowadays.

As I looked up in the sky, I realized that there’s no sun, there are no clouds, and it feels like I’m just looking at a vast baby blue high-rise ceiling.

I felt anxious as I realized that, I feel so alone, depression was starting to consume me again but I need to snap out of this, I need to be brave for Micah, she needs me now more than ever so I continued my journey.

I tried to think of the moments I have shared with Micah to keep me on going further but it only made me even worst, I realized that we only had few memories together and most of them only make me sadder; I miss her so much, I want to spend more time with her, I want to fill our heads with lots of good memories.

I remember the time that I was so devastated because she went abroad to study due to her mother’s wishes. I tried hard enough to be strong but I just can’t, especially that when she came back, her mother made an announcement that Micah’s already engaged.

My throat went dry, I wanted to scream, my heart felt like it was about to explode, I just can’t contain my feelings at that time, she told me that she’s going to tell me something and I know for sure that that was it, but now I believe that she’s going to tell me something else probably something she hasn’t got a chance to tell me. If only I remember my past as I remember it now, I should’ve asked her that back in our house when we run away from our town.

Tears started to form in my eyes, my vision started to get blurry and then I noticed something from afar. I wiped my eyes immediately and stared at the figure far enough, I can only see the silhouette. I walked a little closer to it and realized that there was a crowd of people walking. It felt like dreaming because this whole town was empty a while ago and now there were people. I get really excited and walked towards them.

And then I noticed that creature again.

I saw a black horse with black wings; its eyes were red and empty. It looked through my eyes into my soul; I felt shivers above my neck as I look back to it. The black horse with black wings looked away uninterested and continued to walk away from me. I noticed a bunch of people walking further back following it like it was a walking dog.

I looked at them dumbfounded and started feeling that they are more than I think they are. As I looked closer I saw something different from their eyes, it’s blank and starless.

Those aren’t human I said to myself, they're more like zombies.

As soon as I realized that I noticed details that I didn’t see before, they’re not walking on the ground they’re walking above the ground. Their clothes are all gray. No, it’s more like they are from a black and white Television.

You can feel severe sadness reeking out from them like butane on your skin. Then it snaps out of me, I remember what I came for, my mission, my purpose.

I followed them hoping to see her, I shouted and scream her name but nobody responded. I tried asking them but all they do is just moan, growl, and ignore. Well, some do talk but they don’t help that much.

Some really creep me out and says a lot of weird stuff like “Go away!”, “it’s stupid to go here”, and “You shouldn’t be here”.

I keep on looking, ignoring those creepy people.

Then for a moment, I started to feel weak, I started to walk slower and begun to feel like one of them.

Before I lose it, I started thinking what am I doing here?

It takes me quite a while to remember, memories started to flash in front of my eyes, fading away.

Then I started crying.

“I can’t remember who I am.”

As my memories fade a face was flashed right in front of my eyes, someone familiar.

A flood of memories started to get back inside of me, all those memories, the good ones and even the bad ones.

Then I started to remember the reason why I came here.

It’s for her.

Then a blaze of light exploded inside of me blinding everybody.

Then I saw her, the one I’m looking for.

“Micah! It’s you!”

I tried to push my way to her, I ignored those stupid moans and pushes forward through the crowd. She seems so near but yet so far, it took a while before I reached her. She looked dazed and more like the people from the crowd but unlike everybody, she doesn’t moan or talk, she doesn’t even stop to face me when I called her. I felt anxious; I don’t know what to do.

I stopped her from walking or should I say floating away from me, I held her arms and tried talking to her to snapped out of it but she didn’t respond; she was just there staring at the ground, floating. The crowd started pushing us a little harder maybe because we stopped moving and we’re blocking their way.

I partly kneeled down and peeped into her eyes, it was starless and empty but that didn’t stop me; I didn’t get this far just to fail and so I tried to make my mind clear and thought of the things Delphin told me to do when I found Micah. I remember that he told me to bring her back to her body and so that’s what I’m going to do.

I told her I love her and I will make everything better for the two of us, I pulled her out of the crowd and tried locating where we at so I can bring her back to the hospital where her body lies.

As we made it out of the crowd, I heard horses whined. It startled me as I saw the black horses started to notice me; I must say I like it better when they were totally ignoring me. Their eyes glimmer as they stared at me looking so furious while smoked came out of their nose like letting out some steam; that doesn’t look very good.

My instincts kicked in, I grabbed Micah tighter and ran as fast as I can back into the crowd trying to lose those creepy black horses. I don’t know but I guess my adrenaline makes me smile; yeah, I’m smiling while trying to outrun a freaky-looking black horse with wings. I pushed into the crowd; we’re at the middle now and making our way out to the tail of the parade, I laughed a little with a stupid thought, I may call this parade the black parade not because they are in grayscale but because their life force was sucked every step on their way leaving them colorless and lifeless until they reached the final cleansing and pass to the other side.

Some of the folks from the crowd started flickering then started to glow intensely and in a matter of minutes, they started dissipating into tiny like firefly particles flowing right up to the vast birdless, cloudless, and sunless sky.

I would never let Micah dissipate in front of me, I’ll save her as she saves me from death back in the warehouse.

I almost forgot about the black horses trying to catch us. Their silhouettes passed right above us, like watching us from above and then I remember Delphin told me something about this that “they would not like what you’re planning,” he said they while making a hand gesture like quoting his words and continued “they will try to stop you no matter what and the only thing that I could advise you with them is to don’t look at them because they will suck the life force in you.” That must have been why I almost failed with this mission. He didn’t tell me that ‘they’ means these freaky horses with wings.

I felt a little angry but I can’t stay angry at him, he helped me a lot and I appreciate that. I couldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.

I can see the clearing from afar, I felt already relieved to see the way out from this crowd but then I thought we will be out of the clearing again making it harder for us to succeed with this mission, the black horses could easily gang up on us outside the crowd.

Lots of plans flashed inside of my head, like fighting the horses with my bare hand or jump on one of the back of the black horses and ride on it to the hospital together with Micah but none of them seems to make sense.

We are really near out of the clearing and I still don’t have a plan, and then it hit me.

We stopped from where we are standing; I kneeled down and looked for our way out and slid into it while hugging Micah down into the abyss. I can’t help but smile as I figured that the black horses would be really pissed off when they noticed that they lost us with their scarlet glowing eyes. I can hear wild whinnying above us but there’s no time to lose, this was only a temporary getaway path but soon enough they will find us and so, as soon as my eyes adjusted to the low light under the manhole, we started our journey through the tunnels to the Hudson’s Hospital.

On our journey, I always tend to check on her to see if she’s feeling better but no, her face was still expressionless and lifeless but it’s really hard to tell because we’re in the dark but that made me more determined. We ended up with a lot of splits and dead ends in our journey; it’s probably because I’m just using my guts down here, I could really use a map right now.

The thought almost made me laugh.

Not too far from where we are I saw a beam of light coming from above, I never felt so excited in my whole life to see a beam of light but now I do! I pulled Micah faster to the light knowing that this could be our chance to get out of this manhole and navigate above to find the Hudson’s Hospital.

I pushed the cover up a little trying not to make a sound and peeked my head and looked around, I was blinded temporarily but I don’t care, I was amazed to see that there’s no sign of the black horses and so I pulled Micah right up and now we’re free! I can’t help but feel so pleased when I saw that we are just at the back of the hospital.

I smiled at her but still no response from her but I can see that she looks better now than earlier, I can see a faint color in her unlike when I first saw her from the black parade. My knees started to fail me, my feet were starting to get really numb; I never thought that I was this tired already from running away and hiding from those creepy horses.

I stared at her once youthful and lively face, I can see her grimaced and I don’t know why; is she exhausted too or she’s trying to pull up a smile? But that doesn’t matter now. Then I realized that her feet were already set on the ground, probably it started when we are still under the ground that’s why I haven’t really noticed it.

Then from afar, I heard whinnying and I know for sure that that’s our cue to get inside the hospital.

Inside the hospital, we stumbled with few people or should I say spirits inside, lurking around, I can’t tell if they lost their way or their service hasn’t arrived yet (which is the black parade). I can’t help but feel uncomfortable with lots of spirits lurking around especially when some of them stared at me with their starless and empty eyes.

As we got near to her room, as we enter I noticed that Micah was almost back to her normal self but maybe she still can’t remember anything but still that’s good enough for me; her color was almost back to normal and her eyes weren’t vacant anymore. And then I heard a tugging sound which was weird because I think it’s coming from my chest.

Thud thud thud!!!

What?! I looked at Micah in confusion, she looked at me back, I smiled at her then I have a feeling that this is not a good sign and so I kissed her passionately before pushing her away from me towards her body before anything else happens, I saw her smiled at me then before I can confirm if she successfully went back inside her body everything went white. I feel like I’m blinded for real and then went black. I opened my eyes and saw a blurry face in front of me, I can’t make the face out but I can tell that this one’s a guy. I looked around in confusion and realized that I’m in a cave and then looked back at the guy in front of me.

“Arthur! Arthur! Wake up!!! Tell me who I am!?”

“Delphin, what are you saying???! And why am I back already! I’m not done with the mission yet!” I said sounding very angry as I realized that I was back in my body.

“I’m sorry Art but I saw a vision earlier and it was terrifying that’s why I need to get you out of there, it’s not safe to continue the mission so I’m getting this back to its hiding.” He said while holding the bracelet made by Daedalus and a Nephilim.

“It was already dangerous, to begin with, so why stop now???”

“I saw a terrible faith ahead of you if you completed the mission,” said Delphin, looking very concerned.

I can’t seem to open my mouth, I don’t know why I can’t tell him that I think I’ve finished my mission. I just wonder what he meant about the vision he saw. But that’s not my main concern now, I need to see if I was really successful, I need to go to Hudson’s Hospital and check if Micah is awake. I just need to find a way to go back to town without anyone from the tribe knowing.

As we go back to our tents I remembered that Delphin told me that he couldn’t see my future if I’m in my astral form then how come he had a vision of me? I’m dying to ask him but I just can’t make myself to do so.

“I didn’t saw a vision of you, to be honest,” he said like he knows what I’m thinking while looking down at the ground and then continued “I saw a vision of the tribe, most of my brethren died. Anakim scrambled into flames…” then he trailed off. I know better not to ask for more details and just tapped him at his back and gave him a nodding sign of sympathy and then I went to my tent and planned my journey back to the hospital.

I need to plan and make this happen as quickly as I can before Delphin saw another vision, I don’t know but I can feel that his visions were connected to me and Micah’s future.

Did I really succeed in my mission?

Does Micah wake up after I pushed her back to her body, and if she does, can she remember our journey together or even just remember me?

What’s with Delphin’s vision? I can’t help but feel so nervous and anxious about it.