Can't Find My Way

Chapter 3: Conspiracy (Micah)

Arthur and I went back to this town that we used to call our home because we came up with a decision that running away doesn't help, we need to face the reality of our problems; it's now or never. As we arrived, we encountered being a drag to my own house, Yup, they brought me and Arthur to my mother's office because she reported me missing and that I was kidn*pped by Arthur. And that pissed me off! I don't know but I feel the raging fire of emotion in the depths of my heart and that's not the only thing that happened; Arthur on the other hand was also the suspect for killing the doctor, his own doctor, the doctor who helped us, and the doctor that gave us the support that we needed! How can Arthur do that? We were together that night so it's impossible, right?

"Madame, we have a surprise for you!"

"What is it? I'm pretty busy, you know" mom said to the guy holding me, my mom was as busy as always; it's like she never rests. She's facing the window at the back of her desk, the room never changed ever since I was a child, the bookshelves surrounding the room were full as ever, and a pile of papers is all over her desk.

"Micah, Daughter! You're back! I miss you so much! Let her go" she said as she turned and saw me looking at her.

The guy holding me let me go in an instant then mom saw Arthur and glared at him and then smiled and ordered the guy holding Arthur to let him go as well, she came over to me and hugged me as nothing happened. I don't know what to react so I just stand there, composing my mind.

"Mom, I miss you too but why did you report me missing?"

"You," she said while looking at the guys who brought us here, she unwraps her arms around me then continues "You may go now, I'll talk to you later" they left immediately without a sound as the two left she continued "Micah I was so worried about you that's why I resorted by reporting you missing, I know it's wrong but I can't be sure that you'll be fine after leaving."

"But..." then she cut me short "No buts, I'm just worried I hope you understand and let's just put all the bad stuff that happened behind us"

"Then how could you explain what happened to our home, James came over to our town and ransack our house!" I said while trying to stop myself from being emotional.

"WHAT?!" she said "I didn't know that, to be honest with you two I told him that I want to cancel the marriage because I felt like that you're not ready yet. He probably went there with his own accord."

Mom looks very concerned and honest, I didn't know what happened back then, I was a fool to assume that this is all her doing, I know that she could be possessive and dense sometimes but she's my mother.

"I'm sorry mom, I shouldn't..." she cut me short again "It's fine Micah, I understand you, people tend to do things that they will regret later on especially when they are angry" as she said that and smiled to me, my heart melt. I ran and hugged her with all my heart.

As we, my mother, and I finished catching up with each other she told me to stay in our home together with Arthur at first I was embarrassed with the thought of living with Arthur together with my mom, especially now that we made our relationship a little special. Yeah, something happened between the two of us and it was amazing! But quite embarrassing if you asked me. In the end, we agreed to my mother's wishes due to we don't see anything bad in her intentions and it must be very lonely to be all alone in this big house, it must have been hard when I left her. I feel like I was so selfish back then, why didn't I just told her the truth that I'm not ready to marry anyone yet at that time? It should've been easier.

A mother accompanied us to our own rooms, just to clear things up Arthur and I won't be staying in the same room that would make mother furious! And as I was saying she accompanied me to my old bedroom and to be honest I wasn't expecting it to changed as it was before but it did, my room looks elegant and adult-like now, unlike when I left it, this only made me more embarrassed because this is a clear proof that she really misses me and she really was lonely without me.

I went inside and can't help myself but to go to my bed and lay down "Mom, I love what you did to my room! It's awesome!" and then I saw her smile the smile that I have forgotten already, that smile that I used to seek every day when I was little.

"No worries, my darling" and then they left, I believe now it's Arthur's turn. Mom is probably accompanying him to the guest room where James had stayed for the night before Arthur and I left this town. I wonder what are they doing right now; do Arthur like his room like I liked mine, is mom asking weird questions to Arthur? Well, why would I worry, I believe that mom's a good person; she just doesn't know how to express it.

I stand up immediately when I made up my mind that I want to check my closet because probably all of my old clothes will still be in there, as I opened it, I noticed that I was right and wrong! My old clothes are still in there but there are also new clothes. I can't help but smile at what I saw! I feel so loved! I tried all the new clothes I saw in my closet and went in front of the mirror, making weird poses like I'm some kind of a model but it's fine nobody could see me through.

Time passes so quickly I haven't even realized that it's already time to eat, I went to Arthur's room immediately to call him up. As I walk to his room I can't help but hum maybe because I'm so happy that everything is working out just fine. When I went inside his room I was stunned, I wasn't really expecting to see him half-naked; my face started to burn, and before he could notice me looking at him while changing I turn around and knocked.

"Arthur, are you in there? I believed that the food will be ready in a moment so come on let's go down and..." I don't know what to say anymore, my mind was already filled with pictures of him half-naked "take a walk at the park we used to hang out" he turned around with his clothes on and smiled at me.

"That would be awesome but I'm quite tired and I want to lie down a bit for a while before we eat, I'm sorry Micah" then his smile faded, and continues "let's do that some other time."

I feel a little embarrassed but yeah his right he must be really tired, I'm being quite selfish again for asking him to tag along with me without even thinking what he feels.

"I'm sorry" before he could explain, I rushed outside his room and tried not to make a big deal out of it but why do I feel like there's something wrong, I felt sad because I'm so excited to hang out with him, my vision is starting to get a little blurry, tears started to flow on my face.

I went back to my room and tried to get some sleep after I stopped myself from crying. This is one of my ways to shrugged of my sadness especially that I know that I shouldn't be making a big fuss over what happened earlier.

I end up not falling asleep maybe because everything that happened was kept on playing inside my head, it really bothered me big time! I don't even know why? I know I should understand but I don't, I can't. We spent about three months and more together under the same roof but we never had something like this, Am I being too emotional over him? Is it because we made love already and I'm being too clingy around him? I don't know! I don't want to think about it anymore.

'Cling Cling Cling' I heard the bell ringing, it's dinner already. I immediately fixed myself and rushed down to the dining area, mom was already there sitting on the other end of the long table, I looked for Arthur but there's no sign of him. He's probably still sleeping or he might not have heard the bell ringing.

"Mom I'll go and check Arthur..."

"Micah he's not here, I believed that he went out a while ago and he hasn't come back yet."

"Really?" I was shocked at what I heard, I thought that he wanted to rest and now he's outside?! What the!!!

My heart started to beat faster than ever, I feel so angry at him, right now. I even lost my appetite after hearing that. Where is he? What is he doing?

I continued eating but I can't help myself but to think of Arthur, I didn't finish my dinner and so I decided to go back to my room when suddenly Arthur went back home with grocery bags in his hands, I looked at him but he didn't, he was so focused on something like something is in his mind, I tried not to feel bad about it so I carry on going back to my room. I saw Arthur passed by my room and he didn't look or even check if I'm in my room, I feel like he was ignoring me.

I think I did something wrong to deserve this kind of treatment from him but what?! I can't think of anything I did to deserve this but what can I do? Maybe I'm just thinking too much, like he said he's just tired probably he just wants some time alone.

Morning comes and I'm so over yesterday, I know that today would be a good day! I immediately prepared myself to eat my brunch. I changed my clothes and went down the stairs, I saw mom sitting in her usual seat and eating her breakfast, she's almost done though. I can smell the nice aroma of mom's coffee, I noticed that she's on her casual outfit today meaning today is her day off! I can't wait to spend my day with mom and Arthur. Oh yeah, where's Arthur? I look around but he's nowhere to be found.

"Micah, Arthur said that he's going outside and break some sweat. I was amazed that he wakes so early in the morning, he was almost done with his breakfast when I saw him" mom said while still reading the newspaper she's holding.

"Oh, thanks, mom! What's for our breakfast? I'm starving!" I said while trying so hard to keep my good mood aura.

Ever since Arthur and I went back to our home town he's been a little bit distant it's like he's suddenly busy on lots of things, we never had time to hang out or even just talk. Early in the morning, he went out to jog then goes back before lunch but not to eat but just to take a shower and will go out again to the park to paint and eat his lunch, he'll come home late with his paintings. We've been like this for a week now and it started to get into my nerves, I thought that he's just having a hard time due to the new environment but this is not the case here. I believed that there must be something that made him act like this and I will find that out! I don't want to lose him again.

I woke up early this morning, today is the day I will stalk Arthur! I want to know what is he up to; I want to know what's happening to him. I prepared for this, I observed him for the past days to know his daily routines and I'm pretty sure that he is now on his way out to jog.

As soon as I saw him pass by the gates I went out to follow him, he is so handsome as he jogs, his sweaty black hair was bouncing so vigorously, his skin glows as the sun-rays touches it, his body was curved into his sweatshirt and then he stopped luckily I noticed him and immediately hide behind a nearby tree. Arthur brushed up his hair using his hands and continued jogging, my heart stops as he does it; I was stunned, he looks so handsome. I continued following him, it's like I'm just being paranoid of what he's doing maybe I just miss the times when there were just the two of us in our house. I was about to give up when I saw him go to a diner and wave to a girl sitting at one of the diner's tables outside.

"Good Morning Danielle!" he said as he smiles at the girl, I feel like I want to explode from anger, I feel so jealous seeing him talking to another girl like he used to talk to me.

"Oh, hi there Arthur," the girl said as she looks to Arthur's way while flipping her hair back; her hair was long and black, she looks pretty nice and charismatic and her face looks very familiar.

"Don't forget to meet me at the park, okay?"

"Of course, see you later then," said the girl then smiles.

What the hell! Is she flirting with Arthur? Is that the reason why Arthur's been very busy these past few days? I want to scream and stop them from talking but that's not the right thing to do, I think that I'm just being exaggerated. Arthur must be just being nice to the neighbors but how come I didn't know about this? Oh yeah, he's been distant! I need to be calm and think about what's right and proper.

I have a plan! I went back home before Arthur does. As planned I reached home before he does, I took a shower as soon as I get home and ate my lunch.

As I finished eating my lunch I saw Arthur go out of his room, I didn't notice him reached home; he probably got home as I was taking a shower.

"Arthur! Can I come with you today? I want to see you paint like I used to" I said to him while smiling brightly.

"Uhm... I'm not going to paint today, I'll be going out on a friendly date with Danny" he said while not looking at me then he continues "sorry Micah" then he looked at me for a second while smiling.

What did I just hear from Arthur? Did he just call that girl 'Danny'? If I didn't stalk him earlier I wouldn't know that he's referring to a girl, is he cheating on me? Wait. Oh yeah, we're not dating! We aren't dating officially but that doesn't mean he can flirt with some other girl! Gosh! If only I can tell him that I saw him with a girl this morning and I know that they are going to meet this afternoon.

"Okay, see you later then..." I said I don't know but that's the only words I can say especially that I know that I don't have the right to be jealous than before he left I continued "I miss you, Arthur" then he left.

Where did that come from??? That was so embarrassing!!!

I decided to continue stalking Arthur; he might be saying the truth that they are on a friendly date.

I followed Arthur to the park and heard them talking as I get closer.

"You know what, I think I like you and I want to get to know you more, do you want to accompany me to my house, I'll cook dinner for you."

"I don't know, Danielle but I'm not saying I don't like you but..." then Arthur stopped talking, the trees were blocking my sight so I walk faster to see them.

As I get a clear vision of them my heart stopped, my world stopped, everything stopped. I saw Danielle and Arthur kissing, tears started to run down my cheek, I wanted to scream but I'm too stunned to move, my knees started to feel weak, I don't know what to do, I feel like I lose, in the end, I lost him, Arthur.

I turned and never looked back I went straight home without doing anything, I feel so helpless. I skipped dinner; I went to my room and spent my hours just sitting in front of my window looking outside blankly while tears are falling from my eyes like a waterfall.

It was already midnight and I was about to sleep when I noticed someone outside our house, I looked at him closely and realized that it's my mom.

She was looking at our house and then to my window, luckily I was far enough from the window for her to see me.

Where is she going at this hour?

I think it's very suspicious to be out at this time of an hour and so I decided to follow her.

She was so quick; she was already a block away when I reached our gate.

She suddenly walks slower than a while ago, Does she noticed someone's following her? Damn! I'm screwed! Then I noticed that she looks like looking for someone.

"Mission done, it was like what you've expected," said the guy that mom was talking with; I can't see his face because it was really dark.

"Really?" said Mom then continues "Let's go boys."

I felt nervous as I continue to follow them, we are going inside the woods; I hear the sound of the bugs all over the place, the only source of light we have was the moon, the woods are getting taller and bigger as we go further. I feel like I don't want to continue following them but if you come to think of it we're in the middle of the forest at midnight, there must be something up and I need to know what it is!

Then not from afar I saw an old building, more like a warehouse. I saw mom and the guy went inside it, I followed them. As I reached the warehouse and get a good look at it, I noticed there was a tiny window at the side of the warehouse.

"Welcome, Madame!"

"Where is he?"

"Look to your left, Madame."

"Good job boys, you never failed to do your job properly and smoothly"

My tiny little hairs at the back of my neck stand up, my heart started to beat harder than ever, I feel so nervous about what I'm hearing now, I tried to reach for the window so I can see what's happening inside the warehouse.

"Wake up sleepyhead!!! You are so annoying as always! Why do you always have to ruin my plans???"

"What are you saying??? I don't understand what you are saying..."

"Oh Really?! Maybe it's time for you to know the reason why I abhor you so much."

And when I successfully peeked inside the window I saw my mom talking with somebody sitting on a chair, I can't see who he is because mom is blocking my sight and as my mom walks a little to her left I noticed that he was not just sitting he is tied up with a rope all over his body.

"I'm sorry, I don't really know but I'm sorry, I'm trying my best to do what you told me although it's really hard for me to do it."

"I know that you are trying your best but it just so happened that no matter what you do won't be enough to make everything right."

"Boys, you could leave now!!! I'll talk to you later" the two guys left without a word, as they walk I started to recognize them, they were the guys that carried us back to my mom's office.

Mom walked a little again and now I can completely see the man's face and I was stunned to see him sitting there with bruises on his face, looking pale as ever, his clothes are all wet and dirty, his hair was all messed up covering his eyes but even though I can't get a clear view of him, I know for sure who he is, I know him very well, he's my friend, my enemy, my brother, my love, my future, my Arthur.

Tears started to build up and fall from my eyes; I can't help myself but sob. I don't know what to react; I just stand there looking at them, crying.

What's going on???

I don't understand a thing???

Why is mom here with Arthur???

Why?!!?