Can't Find My Way

Chapter 1: Death (Micah)

It was dark and cold midnight, the moon hides behind the clouds, a starless sky; calm and peaceful. Then there I was, running on the pavements, sweating incredibly, tired but will never stop from running. I was about to sleep when I felt something horrible within my heart, so horrible I can't even just let it go. I immediately ran to Arthur's house to check if he's okay, I just can't wait until tomorrow. I'm hoping that my instincts were wrong and I'm just being anxious.

As I reached Arthur's house, I knocked on the door without delay. As nobody answer, I looked up to the second floor's window in Arthur's room. It was incredibly peaceful; it's so peaceful it only just made me more worried. Then I heard a loud deafening sound; a gunshot! Tears started falling from my eyes; I started to lose my calm even more. I screamed his name like never before, I even screamed for help but nobody seems to care. And then I remember Arthur always forgot to lock the back door. I take my chances and went through the hedges, branches scraped and scratched my body but that doesn't stop me. My best friend needs me more than ever and I don't want to fail him.

As I reached the back door, it wasn't just unlocked it was open. I immediately enter the house; it was pitch black except from a tiny beam of light coming from upstairs. I slow down, my heart started to race. As I reached the top I took a deep breath and proceed to Arthur's room where the light is coming from. I pushed the door a little and saw Arthur lying on the floor, covered in blood. I was stunned and can't seem to move, my tears burst into my eyes; they poured out like a waterfall. As I found myself I plunged myself to Arthur, I held him into my arms wondering why. I couldn't believe my eyes, my mind is trying to deny it but he is there lying.

A fancy Siren was heard all over the town, Red and Blue lights flashing from the windowpane. The policemen came with a bunch of medics; one of the policemen came over and asked me to step away so they can start the investigation. I stood up, still looking at Arthur.

"Ma'am what happened? Somebody called us and told us that they heard a gunshot."

"He... he... killed himself, I know I just know."

The policeman looked at me awfully "It must be hard for you ma'am, I'm deputy Sanders."

He offered me his hand but I just looked at it blankly. "I'm Micah, I'm his best friend."

They gave me a blanket and water while I just stand there lost within my thoughts; one of them accompanied me outside and started to ask me questions.

As one of the medics approached me, I immediately asked him.

"Where is he?"

"He's already on his way to the Hudson's Hospital; he needs further treatment but we believed that he will be alright. It seems that he didn't hit any vital part of his head but I cannot assure you that he will be the same as before.

His words rung into my ears like an echo. My whole world stopped for a minute or two, I can't seem to get a grip of what's happening.

"I want to see him."

"No worries ma'am, I'll accompany you."

I felt extremely tired but I cannot rest until I know he's alright. As we moved along the way, I remember the first time I met Arthur.

It was hot and sunny that day, I was out for a good walk in the park when I saw a pretty looking guy all alone. I can see the sadness in his eyes; he seems so lonely and suffering. Then I saw him threw a bunch of paper in the trash can. I gathered all my guts and picked it up and approached him.

"Hey, I think this belongs to you by the way I'm Micah" he wiped his tears away before looking at me.

"It used to but now you can have it if you only want to though" then he smiled before looking away, His smile was so bright that it blinded me like the sun.

"Does anybody told you that you look better when you're smiling" Oops! My tongue slipped! That was so embarrassing!

"Are you hitting on me?" then he laughs, and from then on we became friends.

Oh, how I missed those days!

In a blink of an eye, I was there, back in reality. I am standing right in front of Arthur's room, anxious. I took one deep breath before going in. As I enter the room I saw a big banner hanging on the wall saying 'Happy Birthday!' then suddenly a guy come over and asked me to dance.

"No I'm waiting for someone," I said very firmly even though I don't know whom I'm waiting for.

Then everybody got silent when a fine-looking guy walked through the isle of flowers; the guy was pale but in an attractive way, his hair was fixed up just like Elvis and he was wearing a black coat with white outlines and a white necktie. The crowd was staring at him in awe even I was dazed when he arrived. My heart started to skip a beat when I noticed him walking towards me, I don't know what to do, I just stand there awkwardly waiting for the ground to swallow me.

"Hi, May I dance with you?"

"Oh my Gosh! Arthur?! Is that really you?"

"Yes, do I really look that awful? Everyone seems like staring at me like they saw a ghost?" said Arthur while smiling and then looked away.

It melts me, seeing him like this and talking to me while smiling really gets me!

"No, you are so handsome and they're just adoring you" then I held his face to face me, his eyes were closed and when he opened them I saw terrifying red glowing eyes. I stepped back but he was holding my hand.

"Getting married huh?"

Then everything went black, I saw mother saying you are going to marry James, and then James saying I can't wait to Marry you.

I was so confused and scared, I tried to scream as loud as I can but no sounds seem to come out of my mouth.

"Micah, Micah! You're dreaming... wake up!"

"It was just a dream! I was just dreaming! Arthur's okay!"

"Yes, it was just a dream but Arthur's suicide was not, I'm sorry Micah."

My whole world darkens, it was a total mess! I know why Arthur tried to kill himself, he was so afraid to be left alone again. If I only knew that mother was planning something, this shouldn't be happening right now. I'm such a reckless fool, I didn't mean to hurt Arthur but he thought that the reason I invited him to my party was to introduce him to my fiancé, but the thing is I don't even know that I have one! I told him to go to the party because I have an important thing to say but that's not it, it was just a misunderstanding. If only I noticed earlier that Arthur left after hearing my mother's announcement, I could've done something. But no! Instead I was just there standing with a blank face; dumbfounded, stunned from what I heard from mom.

Then I was there in front of him; he was laying quietly more like sleeping, his beautiful face was so calm and peaceful unlike the Arthur I know, sad and lonely.

"I'm going to leave you two for a while now; I'll just inform you when we find something in our investigation" then the doctor left.

I sat next to him and held his soft white hands while staring at him thinking nothing but I'm sorry. I couldn't help but blame myself, it was all my fault. I can never forgive myself if Arthur died; all I can do now is to help him get better.

As I was dazing off Arthur, on the other hand, woke up, he was staring at me, I was so shocked so instead of letting the nurses know that he woke up I told him that everything will be alright.

"Who are you?" he said while smiling weakly.

"I'm... I'm Micah" I don't know what to say, a lot of things happened and I don't know where to begin with luckily before I could answer and make it all complicated a doctor came.

"Mr. Vessely, what are you feeling?"

"Pretty weak, a little dizzy, and my head kinda hurts."

"Oh, pretty normal" then the doctor took a note of it and check the apparatuses attached to Arthur, and continued "You must rest so you can recover faster."

"I think so doc but can I have a moment with Micah before going back to sleep."

"Okay, but just make it very quick" then the doctor smiled leaving Arthur with a wink, Arthur just smiled making me forget that we're in the hospital.

"So Micah, You're probably not my relative because my parents died when I was young and I don't think I have any relative aside from them."

Then it struck me, he is my ticket out of this mess! If I told him that we're so in love and planning to run away and get married somewhere far, I would be free from marrying a total stranger, and marrying Arthur was not a bad idea after all. Well, I know him so well; he's nice, sweet, charming, smart and... What am I thinking?! Although I do really like him, Gosh!? I do? I do like him but he deserves to know the truth, not some made-up story to cover up the mess I'm in to and so with a long discussion within my head and heart I finally decided to tell him my plan.

I went home to execute the plan, the first step is to make my mom at ease and don't make her notice that I'm up to something.

I'm about to open my door when I heard voices inside talking.

"James, what are you talking about? You are Micah's fiancé; don't let anyone get in your way."

"But she doesn't like me, I can tell on her face when you announced it in public. I'm sure that she has no idea that she has a fiancé."

"I told her, and she says fine."

And then I remember the time when I was still in England that mom really does tell me that she has already chosen someone for me to marry and it just so happened that I'm so excited going back to the place I grew up in, I just ignored her and told her fine but it's because I thought she was just saying that to get my attention.

"Maybe I just need to win her heart so we can be both happy."

"I think so too, and I know my daughter she is just playing hard to get with you."

Before mom could add more to that and make even worst lies to James I opened the door and went inside the house acting like I've heard nothing, I could tell on their faces that they were talking about something earlier because they can't look at my face and even concentrate on what they are doing.

"Hi, mom and... James."

"Hi Lov~I mean Micah, I'm cooking something really delicious and I hope that you would like it."

I feel bad for James, he looks good and all but I think I'm in love with somebody else already.

As we finished eating mom decided to let James stay for the night! Gosh! Why does she have to do that?! Really?! But well the hell I care, I can sneak out if I wanted without anyone noticing. And so I packed my things as soon as the whole house went silent, I even checked my mom's room if she's already asleep. I couldn't stop myself from smiling due to the adrenaline I'm feeling right now.

As I step outside the house, I can't help but notice the night sky it was beautiful and incredibly peaceful. I took a deep breath and started my journey. I walk a little due to I can't find a cab and started to wonder about the things that could happen after this. As I walk half-mindedly I noticed a cab from afar that is going my way, I immediately stopped the cab and ask the driver to hit it to Hudson's hospital. On our way I felt that somebody is following us, I ask the driver to use another route. As we turn and get rid of the car that's following us, I rode off the cab and run to through the bushes, and hid at the back of a tree next to me. Then I saw a car that stopped nearby and I bet that's the same car that is following me a while ago, I tried hard to see who's driving it but the car's bright headlight blinded me and only shows me the silhouette of my stalker before I can even make a run for it a cold hand touches my face from my behind, I struggle to scream or get him off of me but his way to strong.

"Shhh! Don't make any noise, he might hear you"

What?! Of all people! Why wouldn't I want to make him hear me if you are trying to kidnap me? The guy holding me forced me to sit down so that we can't be seen, gosh! I'm so dead! Poor me! Then I heard the car door closes and leave.

"That was close, don't worry it's me" then I noticed that his voice sounds familiar, as he let go of me I realized that it was the doctor.

"Oh, doctor you scared me!"

"Shhh!!! He couldn't be that far, I was on my break when I saw you from afar running through the bushes."

"You're my savior, doctor! I wouldn't know what would happen if it wasn't you or if the person following me caught me!"

"Do you know why someone's following you?"

"I don't know? Maybe because I'm an easy target."

"No worries, Let me just help you on that because that looks heavy. I believe that Arthur is also prepared to leave but are you sure with this?"

"Yes! And nobody can stop me"

"Okay, Come on! Let's get going"

As we reached the hospital I can't stop myself to feel nervous and excited at the same time. I can't even hide it from the doctor so he asked me if I want to go to the comfort room.

"Yeah, I will be very quick. I just need a little time to contain myself."

"Okay, I'll be in my office if you need me" and he left.

As I'm about to go to the comfort room I heard voices coming from afar and so I followed it, as I walk further I hear the voices getting a lot clearer and louder. I can even tell that it's a boy talking, wait?! He sounds just like Arthur. I immediately checked where I am currently and found out that I wasn't that far from Arthur's room already.

"Where are you going?" said Arthur.

As I see Arthur silhouette, I tried to look to who he is talking to but I can see no one. The hall is nothing but dark, Arthur though is still looking from afar like he can see someone I can't see.

"Arthur, who are you talking to?" Arthur looked at me then smiled, I hate it when he does that; I feel powerless.

"There was..." before he could even finish speaking I stopped him, I was so scared and I already had too much for today.

"Are you ready to run away with me?"

"Yes, I am!" He ran inside his room and get his bag, a bag that the doctor probably lends him. I didn't notice it earlier but Arthur is not wearing the hospital's gown any longer.

"Oh, the doctor also lent me some clothes," he said as he noticed me staring at his shirt.

"We better get going."

"Oh yeah! Sorry!"

Before we left the hospital we decided to visit the doctor first to thank him for being so nice to us.

As we reached his office I knocked on the door but nobody is answering.

"Doc, are you in there???"

I decided to check the door if it's locked and before I could twist the doorknob, the door opened and it surprises me to see the doctor lying on the floor covered by his own blood. I wanted to scream and help him but that would just make everything we accomplished today for nothing, and then I remember Arthur this could traumatize him so I stepped out and closed the door and pretended that I saw nothing.

"Oh, too bad the doctor wasn't in there. We better get going" I know that I'm making a big mistake for leaving the doctor in that situation and for lying to Arthur but I will be making a bigger mistake if I let Arthur see that after what he been through.

And so we left the hospital while keeping myself calm and my facade, I'm doing this for everybody. I don't want to let our efforts go to waste.

As we are almost out of town I used a payphone nearby and report to the police about the incident, of course, I made sure that Arthur wouldn't have a clue about it.

I lied again.

This is getting out of hand.