Dressed in Clover

Chapter 5 (starts December 6, 2020)

After Mark leaves, Becky tells me “Let’s go.” She walks to her bedroom, I follow. We don’t have s*x. We just lay there in each other’s arms. Every few seconds, she gives me a quick kiss, somewhere: lips, neck, shoulder, back… Eventually she kissed every inch of me above my navel.

As we lay there…

Me: Mark is a good guy. Don’t let him go.

Becky: Don’t worry. I won’t.

Me: Don’t let me go either.

Becky: Don’t worry. I won’t.

She squeezes me tighter. I smile. This is the happiest and most loved I have ever felt only hours after a break up.

The next day (Monday, December 7) at work, I do a lot of thinking. I know I would never get back with Eric, even if he apologized for never treating me right and begged for me to go back to him. Part of me wonders why I didn’t dump him sooner. I try to remember why I started dating him in the first place. I suppose he seemed nice enough at the time. At least when we first started dating, I was more of a priority to him, but that quickly faded.

Part of me thinks I should have dumped him before the night. I was focused on Becky and not him for the month before (but he was never focused on me). If I didn’t have a boyfriend then, would Becky have still gotten with Mark? I don’t know.

I think about relationships prior to Eric. Why didn’t those work? Was it me? I suppose I’m at least partially to blame for my falling out with Eric, but I still say it was mostly him. Am I just picking the wrong guys? They haven’t all been bad. Maybe they just weren’t the right fit.

Becky has had similar (bad) luck with guys. We are very similar. I hope that Mark doesn’t break her heart. I hope he is really as good as he seems now. I love her and I want her to be happy. If for whatever reason they don’t last, I’ll be here for her. I wonder what would happen if it was just the two of us, now that there is a physical side to our relationship.

For the first time after a break up, I don’t have that gutting sense of loneliness. I’m not single, per se. I have Becky now. I suppose I’ve had Becky since 2014, but she’s more than a friend now. Sure, she has Mark now, and her focus has been more on him than me, but even 25% of Becky is better than 100% of most guys.

I’m not looking for a new relationship at this point. As always, I wait at least a few weeks after a breakup before I even think about dating again. If I meet the would-be Mr. Right tomorrow, I wouldn’t know it because I’m closed off for a few weeks. That being said, if Becky was all of a sudden not with Mark, I would give my relationship with Becky my 100% right away. She’s different. We are different.

At this point, I’ll probably wait until the new year before I consider dating (anyone besides Becky) again. I’m going to need this time to think more than I do after most breakups. At this point, I like guys and I like girls (in general). In the past, I had only considered dating guys because I had only felt attraction to guys. That’s changed. Would Becky get jealous if I dated a girl that wasn’t her? I certainly wouldn’t try to make her jealous. That being said, I can’t rule out dating a girl. Like I said, I need some time to think.

Mark comes over that night, as promised. As much as I wish I had more of Becky to myself, I can’t fault him. He is really nice to her. He is nice to me too. He treats her like she deserves.

After dinner…

Becky: How are you doing?

Me: I’m ok.

Becky: Are you sure?

Me: Yeah. I mean, let’s face it, it was never that great. I liked him, I never loved him. I wasn’t even in love with him. The more I think about it, it’s been years since I’ve been in love with a guy.

Becky: How about a girl?

Me (chuckles): I’m in love with one now.

Becky: I’m in love with you too.

Mark: It’s good to see you smile.

Me: See. I really am ok.

Becky is in love with both me and Mark. I don’t know how to feel about that. It is confusing. I suppose she must be confused about it more than I am. Either way, she is very loved.

Tuesdays I got home from work right after Becky...

Becky: Mark is coming over.

Me: At this point I’d be surprised if he wasn’t.

Becky: but he won’t be here for another hour, so we have time for some fun.

She walks quickly to her room, stripping off clothes as she goes. I wait until I get there to undress. Kissing quickly led to 69ing. We drive each other to orgasm three times each. Both our faces got very wet.

We finish and get (half) dressed. Our faces are mostly dry when Mark arrives. Mark kisses Becky hello. He looks at her, sniffs a couple times.

Mark: Um.. Did..?

Becky (interrupts): Yeah.

She lets the sexiest little giggle, smiles, bites her lip.

Me: My face probably smells similar.

Mark walks over to me, sniffs around my face, grins, kisses my nose.

Mark: That checks out.

Me: Why my nose?

Mark: It smells like Becky.

Me: That checks out. My lips probably taste like her.

Becky walks over, kisses me.

Becky: That checks out.

When Mark kisses my nose, I feel the odd desire for him to kiss my lips. It’s odd because I’ve never gone after Becky’s boyfriends. If she was with a guy, I would never even think about being with him. Also, it’s been only two days since I broke up with Eric. I’m not ready to date again. (I don’t do one or two-night flings.) I certainly don’t go after Becky’s boyfriends.

Did Becky kiss my lips so that Mark wouldn’t kiss them? I sort of put that invitation out there (to Mark). At the same time, she knows Mark would smell scents of our p*****s on each other’s face. She means for him to realize that we just had s*x. She wants him to think about it. She wants him to think about us (Becky and me). I’m not sure if she is trying to make him think about me in a s****l way. After all, she did intentionally have him see me topless during their second date (before he saw her topless) and talked about my p***y to him at the end of their second date.

Later that week, during one of the few times Mark isn’t around...

Me: Tell me how you met Mark.

Becky: At the store.

Me (tilts head): Tell me more than that.

Becky: Ok. I actually saw him in the store a few weeks in a row before we said more than three words to each other. The first time was (looks at the calendar on her phone) the 24th (of October). I had been going to the grocery store on Saturday evenings to distract myself from the fact that I had nothing better to do on a Saturday evening. We saw each other, smiled at each other, that was it.

Me: Ok.

Becky: Next week, Halloween, I was wearing my cat ears headband. He said to me “nice cat ears”, but I wasn’t expecting it, I panicked, just smiled, kept walking. ...but later I put two and two together, realized that he was at the same store at the same time as last week. I decided to try to get there the same time the following week. He was there, but I didn’t notice until after I passed him. I think he tried to say something to me, but I was distracted. I was only thinking about you and me.

Me: Oh. Oops.

Becky: No, it’s a good thing. Next week, the 14th (of November). I was in a good mood that day even before I got there. Thank you.

Me: My pleasure, really.

Becky: I got to store a bit later than normal, but he was there. I walked right towards him. I was about to say hello when he said it first. I said back “Hello. You’re here again?” He said “of course”. I noticed there was only a few things in his cart. He was there so he’d run into me again. We only talked for about five minutes, mostly small talk, but then he asked if he could call me. I gave him my number. We talked for a couple more minutes, then I kept shopping and he went to the checkout with his three items. Mark called me around 8pm. He said he wanted to give me a chance to get home, get groceries away, eat dinner. We talked until almost midnight. As much as the conversation at the store was small talk, the phone call got deep. Between our activities in the morning and talking to Mark, I thought I would sleep late, but I woke up by nine o’clock. Mark called at ten, you came home from Eric’s around eleven, so you know the rest.

Me: That was the last time I saw Eric.

Becky: I’m sorry.

Me: No, it’s better this way.

I rest my head on her shoulder and think about what she said. She was already kind of flirting with Mark before the night. She probably at least had a crush on him, but if she thought it was significant, she would have told me. We tell each other everything. While our communication suffered slightly in the couple of weeks following the night as we tried to wrap our heads around what happened between us, Becky’s first two encounters with Mark were before the night so our communication was fully intact at that point.

Did she only follow through with Mark because it had started before the night? If her first encounter with Mark was after the night, would she have ignored him and only been with me? This is the best guy she has been with in years. I am glad I didn’t ruin it for her. I might have delayed it by a week. I can live with a week. I am also not sure if our having s*x gave her the confidence, the morale boost that could have actually helped her chances with Mark. Also, after nine days of trying to wrap her head around what we were, talking to a guy must have seemed comfortable. She certainly knows how to talk to guys she likes.

On Saturday (December 12) morning, Becky and I put up our Christmas tree. Mark is a nice guy, but I’m glad it is just Becky and I putting up our tree. We’ve had this tree since junior year of college when we bought it together and put it up in our college apartment. This year though, as we go back and forth between the tree and the ornament box, our lips meet for a kiss.

That afternoon, we go to a brewery. There aren’t many people there, but one guy keeps bothering us and he won’t take no. So Becky kiss the corner of my lips. I kiss the edge of hers. He finally gets the hint. We continue simple kisses in between sips of beer.

It is nice being out with Becky. It is nice being affectionate with her in public (it isn’t overly affectionate). I’ve always been close to Becky, but we seem closer now.

In the week since I broke up with Eric, Becky has paid more attention to me, has been more affectionate with me. In the few weeks prior, almost all her attention was directed at Mark. Maybe he is still getting most of her attention, but she is definitely making time for me. I am not sure if it is because I went through a breakup, like she is trying to make me feel better from that. However, it could be because this is the first time since the night that I do not have a boyfriend. Is she giving me more attention because she doesn’t need to share me [with Eric] anymore? Of course, I need to share her [with Mark].

Mark comes over again Saturday night. I love Becky. She loves me, but she also loves Mark. I feel very much like a third wheel. It definitely grates on me. I definitely feel more loved than after prior breakups, but being a third wheel with Becky and Mark has me disenchanted. I haven’t completely lost Becky to Mark, but maybe it’s heading that way. I never felt like I was losing Becky when she had other boyfriends. Is it because Mark is that great [to her] or is it because Becky and I are now romantically involved so there’s more for me to lose? I don’t know.

As was the case with many of my past breakups, my thoughts partially turn to my first love (Scott). In the past though, I would never think of rekindling my relationship with Scott because I don’t want to be away from Becky. This time, however, my disillusionment about being a third wheel has me almost thinking I need to get away. Scott is married. I’m not going to try to mess that up, but for the first time in a while, if he called me up, I might consider going to see him and see what happens. Ironic, my disillusionment with Scott drove me to Becky. Now, my disillusionment with how my relationship with Becky turned out after the night and after she met Mark is almost getting me to consider Scott again. I would almost consider it, but not quite. I love Becky too much. If she even just looks at me, I’m completely hers again, even if she is not completely mine.

After Mark leaves for work Monday (December 14) morning..

Becky: The lease on Mark’s apartment expires at the end of the year.

Me: ...and he wants to move in here?

Becky: He hasn’t said but I was thinking of asking him, but I want to know what you think.

Me: He’s here practically every day anyway. What would be different?

Becky: He would share the rent?

Me: He practically lives here now. It’s fine by me. It’s a big step for someone you met only a month ago.

Becky: Yep

Me: If you trust him, I trust him.

Becky: Yeah.

Me (only half joking): Plus he’s nice to look at.

Becky: Funny, he says the same about you.

Me: He says that to you!?

Becky: I sort of pull it out of him... Don’t worry, there’ll still be time for you and me.

Me: Good.

I am right, it is a big step. They seem like they are moving fast. I’m glad Becky reassured me about time for us. I don’t want to lose her in this, especially since they are moving fast. It is also interesting that she wants him to think/say that I look good.

Monday night, we all sit on the sofa together, Becky in between Mark and me. During commercial breaks, she alternates between kissing Mark and kissing me. It is a little odd, but I’m happy with it.

Right before we leave for work Wednesday morning..

Becky: Fun fact.

Me: Shoot.

Becky: Mark likes to c*m on my boobs.

Me: Ohhh kaaay.

Becky: Every Tuesday.

Me: Every Tuesday?

Becky: Every Tuesday.

Me: I’d love to um, clean you off after.

Becky: Yeah, I could be down for that. Well, only six days until another titty Tuesday.

Me: Hey look, that was a fun fact.

Thursday night, we’re watching TV. Mark and Becky sit together on the sofa. I am sitting in the recliner. I slowly eat a candy cane. In between licks, I rest it on my boobs.

When it gets small, Becky walks over, picks up the candy cane off my boobs with her mouth, licks the candy cane residue off me, looks up at me, says “not sorry”.

Becky sits back down next to Mark, turns to him. She tells Mark, “Oh, were you going to do that when the candy cane got smaller? Too late.” She grins, “you can do the next one.”

Mark looks at me. I shrug my shoulders and grin. I am so tempted to go get another candy cane, but I resist.

Friday, Becky asks Mark if he wants to move in at the end of his lease because “he’s here all the time anyway”. He agrees, almost without any discussion.

As they were talking, I make the semi-snide comment, “You mean he doesn’t live here already?” I mean it’s true. He already spends the majority of his nights here. He at least keeps some of his clothing in our apartment already.

Saturday, he goes to his apartment to inform his roommate Jim that he’s moving out and to gather some of his stuff. About four hours later, Mark calls Becky: Jim is going to hang onto the apartment. Mark is letting Jim keep most of the furniture since we don’t need any more than what we already have. The only furniture that Mark is taking is a dresser. Mark tells Becky that he and Jim would be over in about an hour with the dresser and some boxes. That means we actually have to wear shirts in our own apartment!

I tell Becky, “See. Mark calls when he’s bringing someone over.” She doesn’t say anything. She just gives me a look. I laugh.

When they get here, Jim helps Mark carry the dresser up the stairs. It’s not small. After setting the dresser down and actually meeting us..

Jim: Ok, now I get it.

Me: Get what?

Jim: I told Mark he was crazy for moving in here so quickly. He told me I would understand when I met the two of you.

Becky and I look at each other.

Jim: Anyway, it works out for me. I was struggling to figure out what to get my girlfriend for Christmas. Now I give her an apartment key, ask her to move in. She’ll be so happy that it won’t matter that the rest of the gifts are crappy.

Becky: That’s the spirit.

Before Jim leaves, Mark gives him his key, so I guess Mark is officially moved in now (vs. the end of the month).

On Sunday (December 20), I spend much of the day in my room. I’m not hiding from them. I wrap Christmas presents. Aunt Trish and her husband Joshua’s kids are still little. They still believe in Santa. She has all their Christmas presents shipped directly to me. All the gifts this year were shipped. In prior years when she’d get some of their presents in physical stores, she would drop them off to me before she went home, or sometimes I’d meet her somewhere to get them from her, or sometimes we would go shopping together. That way her kids can’t find them before Christmas. I spend my Sunday wrapping her kids’ Christmas gifts for her. That’s why I’m her favorite niece. Well, it’s one of the reasons.

Tuesday (December 22) night, Mark and Becky are in her room with the door closed. I’m in my room with the door open when I heard Becky shout “Jilla!”

I go into her room to see both of them in bed. Mark has his lower half covered by blanket, looking surprised that Becky called me in here. Becky is completely uncovered, naked, with Mark’s c*m all over her boobs (because that’s what they do on Tuesdays).

Becky: Want to clean me up?

Me (walks closer): Wow! That’s a lot.

I start licking the c*m of Becky’s boobs. I swallow some. The rest I keep in my mouth. When I’m done licking up all of it, with my mouth full of Mark’s c*m, I kiss Becky, share some of the c*m with her. I am happy. Becky looks happy. Mark looks fascinated, but I think he is enjoying watching me clean and kiss Becky. I head back to my room with a smile on my face.

I’m glad that Becky is involving me in her s*x life with Mark. At the same time, I can’t help but feel like a third wheel. It’s ok being a third wheel, at least for now.

Christmas Eve, during the day, I drive to Aunt Trish’s house with a car full of presents. I go inside. I bring the few gifts that I bought for her kids from me. We have lunch. While I spend time with them, Uncle Joshua unloads the gifts from my car into their garage. In theory, they just need to keep their kids out of the garage until bedtime.

Christmas Eve, I go to bed relatively early. I know Becky wants to ride Mark in front of the Christmas tree. I figure I would give her the opportunity. Based on the sounds I hear, Becky and Mark have a lot of fun.

Early Christmas morning, Becky comes into my room, wakes me up with a kiss. We kiss each other, caress each other. Then she kisses down the front of me, starts licking my p***y. I flip her over on top of me so that I can lick her p***y too. Becky and I get in the same rhythm, orgasm together, a few times. Then she rolls off of me.

As we’re just laying there naked, Becky notices Mark standing in the doorway. Apparently, Becky left her door and my door open, and Becky and I were loud enough to wake up Mark.

Becky: Merry Christmas Mark.

Mark: Merry Christmas Becky, merry Christmas Jilla.

Me (too late to try to cover up): Merry Christmas.

Becky: How long have you been there?

Mark: About 15 minutes.

Becky: Good.

Me: You wanted him to see, didn’t you?

Becky smiles.

I go to my parents’ house (about an hour away) for Christmas Day dinner. My sister, her husband, and her kids are also there.

Becky and Mark stay at home. Mark makes a three-course prime rib dinner for them.

When I get home, Becky and Mark are by our Christmas tree. She is trying to get “dessert” out of him. When she sees me, she turns towards me at exactly the wrong time. She gets the first blast of c*m on her cheek. She turns back quick and gets the rest of his c*m in her mouth.

If Mark doesn’t c*m right then, maybe I would walked away and given them privacy, maybe. I think maybe Mark is thinking about covering up, but Becky has a firm hold of him.

After Becky stands up, I lick the c*m off her face (at least what she couldn’t reach with her own tongue), then I kiss her. I ask her, “You wanted me to see that, didn’t you?” Becky smiles.

Out of curiosity, I take a step over and smell Mark’s face as he stood there naked. It smells like Becky’s p***y. I smile at him and kiss his nose. I wanted to kiss his mouth, but I resisted.

So, Christmas Day, Mark saw me completely naked for the first time, and I saw him completely naked for the first time, and we both saw the other orgasm.

Sunday (December 27), Mark buys a king-size bed for them, mattress, box spring, headboard. They buy sheets for the new bed, but for whatever reason, they don’t get a new comforter blanket. They are sticking with the old queen-size blanket, at least for now.

Tuesday (December 29) night, I’m sitting in my room when I hear Becky call, “Jilla!”

I go into her room. She and Mark are lying on her bed naked. He doesn’t bother covering up this time, I’ve already seen it all. Becky has Mark’s c*m all over her boobs.

I smile and say, “I know what to do.” I slowly lick Mark’s c*m off Becky’s boobs. I made eye contact with Mark as I’m doing it. When I’m done, instead of kissing Becky, I swallow and then start licking her p***y. Mark is watching intently. As I’m licking, I decide to stick a finger in Becky’s butt (she seems to like it), then a second finger, then my tongue.

A few minutes after Becky orgasms (twice), I go back to my room.

About five minutes later, Becky walks into my room, with Mark behind her. Becky says, “Now I want to do the same thing for you.” She licks my p***y and fingers/licks my butt. Again, Mark watches intently.

After I orgasm (twice), Becky stands up. Mark kisses Becky. Mark turns to me and says, “You taste good.” I tell him “Thanks. You do too.”

It has become clear to me over the past couple weeks that I have developed feelings for Mark. This is strange for me. I’ve never gone after any of her boyfriends. She has never gone after any of mine. I am pretty sure Mark also likes me. This can be dangerous. I don’t want Becky to think I am trying to steal her boyfriend. However, she seems to be encouraging us. It is as if she is showing us off to each other. She wanted us to see each other naked. She wanted us to see each other in a s****l light.

I am not sure if I would have developed feelings towards Mark if Becky hadn’t been actively encouraging it. Seeing how s****l Mark is with Becky, who I am s****l with, makes him more attractive. Seeing how well he treats her and how happy he makes her makes him a lot more attractive to me.