Preparations began, as we were getting ready to fight for not only our lives, but the lives of hundreds of other innocent people. The more we thought about it, the more we wondered whether our decision was the right one. We thought of the real reason why we each decided to accept. Maybe helping those people were like a redemption for the killing and stealing and all the other unethical things we did to reach that shelter. I knew the people we killed were bad guys, but they were still human, and it was still a stain on my conscience. I just couldn’t get past the fact that I had taken lives. That training to me seemed like an opportunity to forgive myself somehow, or at least to kick out the nerves. We were looking forward to weeks, maybe even months of training ahead of us, but we d

