The thing about being the leader of clones was that it takes an extremely taxing amount of energy. You must constantly be on guard, ready for anything. If you let yourself breath for even one moment, chaos is sure to ensue. That chaos isn't always reversible. Looking at Chanrelle now, her purple eyes shining under the long lashes she was batting at me, I thought she was pretty, with her blonde hair with brown streaks and lack of neck that reminded me of Wishes. I could like her, but she wasn't Wishes. My heart longed for Wishes in that moment and it made me sad. I guess Chanrelle picked up on this.
"What's wrong Dilly? Do I make you nervous or something?" She asked, hinting at a compliment. I was not about to give one to her right now.
"I ain't sure I can do this Chanrelle. I just have other things I need to do." I felt a little bit bad after this, so I added. "You is beautiful baby, you's a star. Dilly just needs some time." She looked back at me, hurt in her eyes. Despite this she smiled. I felt eternally grateful to her for that. As I made my way out of the private room we'd been in, I saw big blue eyes peering out of a hole in the wall. Wishes did care. I felt myself smile.
"Wishey! What's you looking at baby?" I stepped up to the wall, willing her to come out. She didn't.
"None ya Dilly! Mind your own." She began crawling up the wall, disappearing from my sight. I sighed and continued down the hallway. I took it as a small victory won. Sometimes you must do that. Things could sometimes feel impossible, but I've learned that nothing ever was. Nothing in life ever stays the same, it's constantly moving and evolving. Just like science. All you can do is enjoy every position you're in, no matter how hard that position is, because it's not permanent. Tomorrow Wishes could love me and we could be together forever, or tomorrow maybe I wouldn't want to be with her. You can't predict it. I enjoyed chasing Wishes and was excited to see our outcome. That was enough for me right now, I was mostly content. I wanted her to love me and she claims not to, but at least I get to see her everyday. I talk to her so much it sort of feels the hole in my heart where she should be.
I had to get ready for the celebration tonight. The little details mattered and I had many of them to sort out. It would take some time to iron out my suit and polish my shoes. This was the closest thing I would get to a break, but there was no way I was going to take it. As always, I had a plan. Everything was falling into place nicely. I just had one stop to make before the party. I secretly vacated the clone mansion without so much as a word. I walked the path with my eyes closed, just because I could. As I neared the beat up, tiny home I laughed. This was going to be entertaining for sure. I knocked on the door, shocked that the rusted old handle didn't fall off. I can't imagine choosing to like this. The only thing I liked about him was his simplicity.
"What?!" A deep voice yelled through the door, irritated. I didn't answer, just breathed heavily so he knew it was me. Finally, light slit through the door. "I'm busy."
I c****d my head. "Oh Grantheis, you don't even know what I'm going to say."
He rolled his eyes. "Don't care, DillyDump." DillyDump was Grant's not-so-clever nickname for me.
I smiled. "I got an arrangement."
He shook his head. "No, absolutely not." He went to shut the door. I stuck my head in the way. I watched him force himself not to still slam it. He shifted annoyed. "I have someone here."
Of course you do, I sneered in my head. "Of the s****l kind?" I wasn't going to let him go quite so easily.
"Actually, none of your d*** business. Just get to the point, will you?"
"I want you to move into the Clone Mansion Grantheis." I kept my face innocent and my gaze even.
Grant looked as though I just asked him to go sky diving without a parachute. "What?"
"I'll see you tonight. Wear something nice." I smiled as I walked away, reveling in the moment. He would come, I was sure of it. He always did.
I took my time on the way home, in no rush to get back. I let everything around me sink in. I examined the criss-cross pattern of the tree bark, the faint sway of the leaves in the wind, the sound of footsteps in the distance. I tried to imagine where each person was going. Maybe to the grocery store? The gym? To meet a lover? I wondered if they had ever had a plan. I figured they probably had, whether they realize it or not. Even if you wake up with the intention of doing nothing, you have a plan. It used to bother me that you can't know what everyone else is thinking, until I made a mind-reading contraption. Still, I would never be able to reach everyone, not all at once. I would inevitably miss something. This revelation taught me to sort through the things and I care about and only leave room for the important stuff.
I used the secret underground entrance to the Clone Mansion and went on as if everything was normal. In a way it was. Everyone was acting as they always did, everything looked how it always did. The little twist I had for tonight would spice that all up. Nothing was different yet, but it would be. I got ready, paying special attention to all the little details of my look. Once I was satisfied, I headed to the party room. It was a big, open ballroom, with a beautiful crystal chandelier and a floor so shiny you could see your reflection in it. I stood in the corner and watched as the clones filed in, all dressed in their best attire. I looked for Wishes in the growing sea, but to no avail. I sighed, she'd make her presence known here shortly. The party commenced. All of my clones were having the time of their lives. I watched as Chanrelle and Elijah danced together. I felt glad nothing more happened with Chanrelle and I. I would've pushed Wishes even further away from me. Just as everyone got comfortable I heard him.
"The f*** is this?" Grant was standing in the entrance wide-eyed. He had a girl under his arm. This is going to be fun. I stayed hidden in the crowd, smiling. The clones gasped. Some made an effort to hide themselves, some just stared at him wide-eyed.
"Grantheis?" I watched as Wishes emerged from under her blue tablecloth dress. It was a little bit different than her usual attire, much more conservative. "You came here? To the Clone Mansion?"