What I Crave

Gone

Nova

2 Weeks Later

Stepping into the shower & closing the curtain behind me, I let the water hit my body and I instantly felt a little better. I hadn't felt right since the night I got on that jet to come home. I had planned to go to Evny's but, the tension between her and Adonis was too much to deal with. Turning around and tilting my head the hot water hit my face and I sighed.

Me and Envy hadn't talked either. I tried calling her but she had been so upset about Adonis that she didn't bother to answer my calls. Or texts. Or anything. She had taken time off of work so I was alone most nights now. I still made sure to call and let her know I was thinking about her every night. Even if she didn't answer.

Thinking about Ivan was even worse. He had a wife. A wife. He hadn't even said anything. He never even once mentioned her and he had the balls to pursue me? Arranged marriage or not, he had a wife. He was legally married and I was a mess. I had let him make a mess of my emotions. I let him get me to let my guard down. I thought...

He doesn't love you. Or care about you. Don't be a fool. You let him too close.

I couldn't argue with the thought. I've never actually had a relationship so I shouldn't be feeling so.....I can't even explain. I feel like my heart is beating a million miles a minute. My legs feel like jelly and whenever...whenever I think about him I just get so sad. Our time on the island was amazing & I didn't think it would end with me feeling like this. Completely & utterly defeated.

He has a wife, there's no room for you in his life. Move. On.

Shaking my head, I grab my towel and start to wash my body with my coconut & lavender scented soap. After thoroughly washing my body, I turned off the water and got out of the tub. I grabbed my towel and walked out the bathroom and into my bedroom. Picking up my phone, I unlocked it and began scrolling through my photo album. My heart squeezed as I watched a video of me and Ivan in bed together talking. He looked at the camera and smiled at me. I swiped right to the next image. It was a picture of Ivan and me. We were both sitting in the sand holding hands. I don't remember who took this picture. I kept looking until my heart wouldn't let me anymore.

Coming across one of Trill's photos, I see him with two guys posing with huge grins on theirs faces and their mouthes were full of diamonds. Smiling I double tapped the picture and continued to scroll. Not even 10 minutes later, I get a text from him.

Trill: Well it looks like my favorite goddess is back in town.

Me: Yeah, feels good to be home in my own bed again.

Trill: Bed too empty? Want me to join?

I hesitated to answer this text. He had never seen my face before. He'd only seen me working at the club with my mask.

But, he isn't married & let's face it, it's been a long time since you...

Shaking the thought from my head, I text him back.

Me: Yes, but one rule: no masks.

Trill:  drop the pin

After giving him my address and telling him where to park, I get up and head for my closet. Reaching for the back, where I keep all things naughty. I grab my favorite piece of lingerie. It was a velvet blue piece with a matching robe. After moisturizing my body, I effortlessly slid the soft piece of clothing over my body. I hadn't gotten the chance to wear this before but now...it's as good as a time as any. Throwing on the matching robe and a pair of black heels I made my way to my kitchen to pour two glasses of wine.

Drinking the first one, I opened my messages to Ivan's contact and went to block him. Pouring another glass, I stopped and began to text him. I didn't intend on sending the message but I needed to get how I was feeling out. He would know how he made me feel and how he it felt to know he had be lying to me. Everything I knew about him was a lie. Everything he told me, was a lie.

Focus on the present. Trill will be here soon.

Trill

"Aye bro, I'm bout to be out." I said to my brother Duke. He looked at me laughing while a woman a little older than us was hanging off his body.

"Ight nigga make sure you do that for me." He said while he held onto the cougar. "Mike gon be pissed if we don't find them."

Nodding, I walked towards the exit & out to the parking lot of the club. I climbed inside to my car and started it up. Putting the directions in, I start driving to my destination. While driving I got a phone call from one of my OG's. It was Mike.

When I picked up I heard the roughness in his voice and I knew this must've been something real. " I got a hit you need to make for me." He said with conviction in his voice. Answering back I said, "What is it?" He responded with, "2 girls. Both dancers. Both work at that club Mystique you be going to."

"What are their names?" I asked. He said, "Envy & Aphrodite."

I hit my brakes immediately after hearing the second name. Did I hear that correctly?

"Hold up. Say that second one again." I said I'm serious tone. He responded just as seriously and said, " You heard me the first time. Find them and send me the locations when you do. I expect to have them soon."

He hung up. I put my head against the steering wheel.

What the f**k could this girl have done to be targeted by us?

I kept driving towards her place even though I was sweating bullets and my hands were shaking. After turning a couple more corners and going straight for the longest time I pulled up to a nice looking townhouse. The lights were on inside and I looked at my clock. It was a little after 4 in the morning, I'm wondering why she texted me so late. But, I had to shake the concern from my head. I had a job to do and I would have to do it. No matter how hard it would be to see her like that. I had a code to live by & if I didn't honor it. Getting out the car I go to my trunk and open it.

Forgive me.

Nova

5:00 a.m.

I'm sitting on the couch in my living room scrolling through i********: when my lights go out. Sighing loudly, I get up to go towards my back door when I see a shadow run through my yard. Instantly, my stomach dropped.

Hide.

I ran from my living room and into my bedroom just seconds before I heard my back door silently open. I slid under my bed and turned my phone on silent while I dialed Ivan's number. I'm not exactly sure why I called him. I'm not sure I knew that he was gonna answer me. His rang and I waited in silence as I listened for the footsteps walking trough my house. Opening every door, checking every room. There were only 3 rooms left before whoever this was got to mine.

Ivan didn't answer. I opened an app on my phone that allowed you to send text messages to your local police station and I quickly sent out a message. But I was an hour away from the police station and I wasn't sure I could hold this person off until then.

My bedroom door opened and I froze. Looking from underneath the bed, I could see two big black boots standing by my door. I heard a light flicker and I scooted further underneath my bed trying not to make a sound. The boots started to go towards my bathroom and when I was sure he was fully inside of my bathroom I rolled from under the bed and dashed the hall. But, I wasn't fast enough. As soon as I ran I heard the person coming at me. I ran inside of the room and closed the door, pushing a chair against the doorknob. The door came crashing down and the man birth through the door. He grabbed me by my hair and I screamed loudly. He punched me and I saw stars. My mind was going blank.

I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

He tied my hands behind my back and tied my feet together. He took off my robe and I tried to kick him away. He grabbed me by my throat and made me face him.

"Don't. Don't make me hurt you." The man said, something about his voice that sounded familiar. Like I'd heard his voice before but couldn't place it. Enraged, I moved my head back and head butted him. Hard. He groaned loudly as he fell back and I worked my hands and feet free from my binds. I got up and ran down the stairs to the front door but he caught up with me before I got there. He pulled me by my hair and I screamed again as he closed the door. He punched me in the stomach and then he slapped me. I fell to the floor and rolled into a ball. He continued to kick me until my body finally went limp. I could hear small things every once in a while. I could hear the birds chirping and I knew it was gonna be morning soon. If only I could've held off till morning came. I felt myself being laid down and then I heard something close. Finally, I was engulfed in darkness.

Adonis

2:00 p.m.

It's been 2 whole weeks since I last seen Envy and from what I've heard from my parents she hasn't come out of her old room since the night we came back.

Did you really have to break her hurt like that?

But, it had to be done. I loved Envy, but, we could never be together. Ever. I had to face that fact when I was really young.

You shouldn't have taken her innocence...

Exhaling, I turned over in my bed to face my fiancée. She was sleeping peacefully next to me holding onto my arm. Looking at her, I thought about my future but I kept getting blanks. I kept trying g to envision our marriage and if we would have kids, but I just couldn't see it.

You can see it with Envy.

Dismissing the thought, I climbed out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen. I went to the fridge and pulled out some things to cook for lunch and began to prepare it. My phone kept going off and it kept buzzing but I was busting myself with making sandwiches while drinking Henny out of the bottle. I didn't notice the soft pattern of feet coming through the living room until I turned to see my fiancée walking towards me, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Babeeeeee, why'd you leave?" she asked me pouting.

I smiled and reached for her. As she walked into my arms I said, "Was just making some lunch for us. Hungry?"

She nodded against my chest and snuggled closer to me. "You smell good..." she said her voice full of lust.

I kissed her lips softly and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss me back. Walking to the bathroom she said, "I'm gonna shower. You want to join me?"

Taking another sip of Henny, I followed her into the bathroom. She turned on the hot water, slid out of my T-shirt and climbed into the shower. I followed swiftly behind her a few seconds later. I stood behind her as she stood directly underneath the water letting it hit her soft pale skin. Her dark brown hair fell down to her waist as she let the water plant hot kisses on her skin.

"You never told me how your trip went." she said, "We've been quarantined for awhile but I don't remember you ever telling me about the island." she finished.

I kissed her shoulder, "Don't worry about that pretty girl. It wasn't that memorable."

My heart twisted in my chest.

Liar.

She chuckled and turned to face me. She looked at me with her big doe eyes. Her eyes gazed at my lips and then she smiled. I pulled her into my arms as she kissed my chest.

"I just missed you." she said softly.

I rubbed her back while the steam around us got heavier. I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

She shuddered. "You know, your forehead kisses were infamous in college."

I laughed and she continued, "I'm serious. All the girls would purr everytime you did it. You and your friend Ivan." she said giggling.

I kissed her shoulder and then down her arms. I kissed the palms of her hands and her fingertips. Just as I was about to kiss her lips, I heard a loud banging on my front door. She jumped and I rubbed her body.

"It's okay. It's probably just a client."

Ivan

Waiting for Adonis to open the door was the longest five minutes of my life. I had been calling him for the better sort of 15 minutes. Something wasn't right. This morning, when I woke up I had 3 missed calls from Nova and a voicemail. Listening to it made my stomach lurch.

BANG BANG BANG

"IM COMING!" I heard him yell over my knocking. When he finally opened the door I pushed my way inside. "I need to talk to you." I said. He nodded and pointed towards his office.

"Go. I'll be there in a second."

I walked inside of his office and sat on the couch. I pulled my phone out and proceeded to listen to the voicemail again. I could hear her screaming no and crying hysterically. I could hear glass breaking and doors shutting. I could hear her pants of desperation as she tried to get away. I tried to go over it in my mind again.

It's your fault.

I knew it was my fault but I wasn't sure how I got into whatever was going on. I exhaled loudly as I waited for Adonis to come into his office. After about 10 minutes later, he comes in.

"Ivan what's going on? You scared the shot out of Stephy." He said irritation creeping into his tone. I just pressed play on the voicemail.

"NOOO!"

When he heard that he sat down and he became serious. He listened intently as his fists clenching every time he heard her scream or cry. When he heard punches landing he stood up.

"We gotta go to her place. Now."

The drive to Nova's house was dead quiet. Adonis had reached out to some people he knew back in college. People who, frankly, would be bad for business any other time but right now, our prerogative was to find out what happened. We drive down a long twisting road of trees before we reach her townhouse. When we park, I look at her house. It looks quiet. Too quiet for a person like Nova, her day never stops. We walk to the door and pushed past the police tape. Walking inside we see the mess of the previous night.

Blood...

Glass...

Walking through her house makes the anger I'm feeling even worse.

You did this to her...

Shaking my head, I made myself look at the photos of her dangling on the walls. I made myself look at everything in this house that could've possibly made her happy. I forced myself to look at the destruction. I imagined her running from the perpetrator, trying to get away. My stomach lurches forward.

"Ivan! You might wanna look at this." I heard Adonis call from downstairs.

Going back downstairs, I followed his voice to her office. Sitting on the desk was her cellphone.

"This couldn't have been here when the cops came. There's no way." Adonis said.

I reached forward and picked it up. Adonis cupped my shoulder.

"Prepare yourself for what you might see. This could very well be a message." Nodding, I picked up the phone and unlocked it. What I saw next will haunt me for the rest of my life. There were pictures of Nova. Her body bruised and battered. Black and blue all over. Her face was unrecognizable and the videos were the worst of it. I'll never stop hearing her screaming. Her screams blasted from the phone speakers and Adonis turned away. I kept my fixed on the screen as I watched 3 men take advantage of her. From every angle. There were more videos but by this time I was already heated. The next video though, wasn't for me.

"Adonis." I said quietly. "When's the last time you seen Envy?" I asked him.

He looked up at me with confusion written all over his face. "It's been a few weeks. Why?"

I looked back at her phone. The video was sitting there waiting to be played. I handed him the phone and walked towards the door.

"I can't watch that..." I said to him. He looked at me as I put my hand on the doorknob and pushed the door open. I was only half way across living room when I heard him screaming. He sounded like he was in pain and the screaming didn't stop. When he was finally done he came out of the room with a dark expression on his face. He looked at me and I nodded knowingly.

"I'm gonna call Z."

Before I made a move to do anything, I heard Nova's phone ringing. Looking at it, Adonis lifted it up to show me. Unknown. Is what the screen read. He handed it to me and I answered it. Silence met me on the other end of the line. Finally, after a few seconds, I could hear moaning.

"Ivan.." a voice I barely recognized spoke into the phone. "Help...me."

Before I could respond another voice spoke into the phone at full volume.

"We will keep the girls for as long as they are needed. Until of course, we don't. If you want them back, just bring us 10 mil down to the bridge." the voice said.

Before I could respond Adonis snatched the phone from my hand. "I don't know who this is but when I find out who took my sisters I'm coming for blood." He hung up the phone and threw it across the room.

"No games. We call Z & get him here now."

An hour later, a black car pulls up in the driveway. I'm sitting on the couch drowning my anger & Adonis won't stop pacing. When the doorbell sounds off Adonis goes to answer it and when he comes back Z is following him.

Z was a man we both met in college and we did some work for him, work we weren't proud of. He hasn't changed since then. He's still as large as I remember him. He was a man of complete focus and he could break the will of a man down with just a look.

"Diablo." He said while looking at me as he nodded his greeting at me. I nodded back as he sat his suit case on the table in front of us. Diablo is what I went by while I ran with him in college. I was just best runner at the time, I was always at his beck and call until it was time for me to graduate.

"You look good. You too Donny." Adonis just stared out the window. "Well boys, let's find your girls."