What I Crave

Poisonous Thoughts

Him

Last night was reckless of me. I let her get too close. I let her do too much. She waited till morning to leave while I was in the shower. When I got out I didn't expect to her to be there but I didn't expect to find her mask as well. I grabbed my phone to text her.

Me: Why'd you leave your mask behind?

Aphrodite: I can't see you anymore...You make me do bad things.

Him: Why? I thought we were connecting.

Aphrodite: I don't mean anything to you. Please leave me alone.

I just stared at this text. I didn't know what to say. I thought taking the mysterious route would make her want me. It seems as though I might've scared her.

What will I do now...?

Nova

The rest of my week went by in a flash. Me and Envy had been spending more and more time together. Some nights we would team up on stage and dance together. The men loved us together and we had been bringing in new customers everyday. 

"Girl we have been making bank okay!!"

I laughed while we were driving home from the club that night.

"Altogether we sitting on 50k!"

My stomach dropped.

"What?! Really?!"

She smiled and nodded throwing my half at me.

"I gave extra cause you need it more than me."

I hit the brakes and pulled over.

"No Envy I can't let you do that. It has to be fair."

She chuckled but she didn't seem phased by what I said.

"Girl I'm a trust fund baby. I have plenty saved up. Speaking of which I told Tony to let Rose know that we needed a few days off. I booked a trip to my fathers island!"

I smiled at my friend. She was a breath of fresh air. Plus being on a beach would get my mind off of him...

His hands...

His lips...

His eyes...

His...

"Nova! Earth to Nova!"

I shook my head and laughed.

"Sorry I spaced out. Let's get home. I've got a bag to pack!"

She plopped back in her seat and we drive home with the music blasting. I walked inside and began to pack while Envy called her driver. My phone kept vibrating and I continued to ignore it. The one time I did glance at it though, I saw a text from Him.

Mystery Man: Why won't you answer...? I'm sorry if I scared you.

I ignored it and kept packing. My mind was racing. Last night was too much. I never should've done that. I got too comfortable. I can't show him that part of myself. I turned on some music to keep my steady. Before I had the chance to turn the song it blared through my speakers. When We by Tank started playing and I was instantly pushed into a trance. It was like I was reliving that first night all over again. I could his hands exploring me while I danced for him. He told me that I was beautiful that night. It was almost like he was hypnotized by me. I could feel his lips planting light kisses on my neck.

Snap out of it! 

Once the song I ended I unplugged my speakers and finished packing. Envy's driver was waiting for me to come out and he grabbed my bags when I finally came outside. I climbed in the back with Envy when I seen the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life looking at me.

Ivan

I wasn't trying to stare at her but she was breathtaking. It's her. I know it's her. But she doesn't seem to recognize me. I'm glad Envy called me. She's so beautiful without her mask. Her long black hair was curled tightly around her face and her eyes were glistening with...recognition?

No, she couldn't recognize me. But she keeps staring at my hands.

No. She doesn't recognize me.

As badly as I wanted her to I know she didn't. She smiled shyly at me and proceeded to put headphones in her ear while she wrote in a notebook. Was she a student as well as a dancer? Was dancing just a side hustle? I could respect it.

I watched her the whole way to the airport. I watched her walk timidly through security. When it was time to board she scrambled after Envy but when she realized she had to sit next to me she looked defeated. We were gonna be on this plane for 6 hours. This was more than enough time to get her to speak to me. 

Envy

Oh man! I hope Nova doesn't find out it's the guy from the club. I just want her to be happy. He seems to be intrigued by her and he's handsome. Plus he can take care of her. He has a lot of money to help her get through school. Lord knows she doesn't want to be a dancer for the rest of her life. I glanced over at her while she sat next to him. He was looking at her intently as they engaged in hushed conversation. I was almost jealous. My stomach stirred when I thought of how close they would be to each other when we got to the house.

Oh well... it's a shame she doesn't like women...

I sighed and leaned back in my seat. This was gonna be a long journey. I would look at them ever so often and I would notice that they had grown closer to one another. He had his hand placed against the wall of the plane and his face was inches from hers. It was like he was trying to eat her face. Or no...maybe that's just how he lets her know he's listening? I can't tell. He seems to be completely wrapped up in whatever they are talking about. 

Nova

He was so close to me. I could feel his breath on my neck as he spoke to me.

"Why do you keep staring?"

I breathed in a large breath. I was confused. I was confused because he seemed so familiar. His presence made me feel strange. I felt strange when he was so close. Why does it feel this way? Who is he? Have we met??

"I want an answer."

I sighed and looked in his eyes.

"I thought I recognized you. I felt the strangest sense of nostalgia when I looked at you. But it was brief. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. I don't mean to stare."

He kept his eyes on me and I even caught him looking at my lips.

He looked in my eyes and leaned down, getting closer to my lips.

"You'll know me soon."