What I Crave

Submission

Ivan

She had finally gone to sleep. Adonis & Envy left. It's just me and her now. She hasn't let me touch her since we came back to the island. She whimpers in her sleep now. She didn't used to do that.

She's so...broken. & it's my fault.

I knew that it was my fault somehow which is why I've been trying to find out who had orchestrated this whole thing. The ring leaders phone had been disconnected so we don't know who he made that last call to but we'd figure it out.

I held her body close to me as she slept. I wasn't sure if she was sleeping peacefully or not but I wanted her to be comfortable. I pulled her onto my chest and she stiffened slightly before relaxing again. I stayed just like that for what felt like hours. The sun began to play peekaboo with the curtains as the light outside brightened. But I didn't move. Nova would know that I was here for her and that the only thing I wanted was for her to be safe.

Adonis

It's been hard trying to get the girls to adjust since we came back to the island. Envy won't talk to me. Nova won't let anyone touch her. They both prefer to be with each other. I look at my phone as Stephy's name flashes across the screen. She's been calling me since I told her I'd be gone on a business trip. Sighing, I picked up the phone and pressed the green button.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Really Adonis?! Hello? That's the only exclamation I get from you?" She responded back, I put my face in my hand as she continued, "Honestly... do you even love me anymore?"

I froze.

Well, do you?

Everything in me wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her that no matter what I would always, always care for her. But, I love Envy. I wanted to tell her about the night in high school. She had to know this wasn't her fault, it was mine. But how could I tell the woman I've been with since college...that I was in love with my younger sister?

Before I could say anything she said, "You know, I don't think...I don't think I can take much more is this from you. You have been emotionally closed off and it's been an entire week since I last seen you. I'm tired Donny. I'm tired of being alone. Why won't you come home and stay home...?"

I could hear that she had started to cry. I shook my head. 

Look at what you're doing. You hurt everyone around you.

"Stephy....I'll be home soon. I promise and I'll tell you everything. Just please wait for me. Please." I begged her.

I was met with silence for a good few minutes before she said, "Okay." I heard her sniff and she repeated herself loudly, "Okay. Fine."

After hanging up the phone, I got up to go downstairs. Walking through the kitchen I made my way to the living room to see Nova sitting on the couch with her eyes closed. Not wanting to bother her I started to turn around before she stopped me by grabbing my hand. I looked at her and I could see the pain and the confusion. I sat next to her as she laid on my shoulder. We didn't talk. We just sat there. Her head on my shoulder while she held onto my hand.

Suddenly, I could feel her body beginning to shake violently. "Shhhh it's okay Nova...I'm here." I said trying to calm her down.

I picked her up and rocked her like Ivan did and she stopped shaking. I looked down at her as she began to fall asleep in my arms. She looked like she was at peace for the moment. After about an hour, Ivan walks in the living room. When he sees her he smiles and comes to pick her up.

"How'd she get down here?" He asked me.

I shrugged and said, "I came down to watch TV and she was already sitting here. I think she sleepwalks."

After taking her back upstairs, he comes back to sit across from me. Looking at me with seriousness in eyes, he asks me, "Have you cracked into Mike's phone yet?"

I pulled out the phone and sat it down on the table in front of him. "No," I started, "but I was able to find out who he was related to." Before he reached for the phone I said, "Ivan...you might want to think long and hard about who that man was."

I didn't stop him when he snatched the phone off of the table. I didn't stop him when threw the phone across the room.

"Can't be." He said, "I would know. I would know if it was her."

I stood up and walked to pick up the phone, "I said the same thing but in all reality, what do you know about her? Other than what your parents told you?"

He looked at me as his eyes began to cloud over. He knew just as much about Leonia as I did. Which wasn't much. He sat down on the couch after finally calming himself down.

"So what should we do?" he asked "I can't even get a hold of her. I called her job and they said she took a few days off. She could be at her family's house because her mother's birthday is coming up."

I could tell he was just saying things to make himself believe she couldn't be involved but she had a motive. If Ivan wasn't being careful about Nova she could've found out.

"You didn't tell her about Nova... did you?" I asked him.

He shook his head, "No. Never"

The only thing I could think of was his phone. She might've looked through it or something. She's apart of this somehow. I can feel it.

"If I found out she hired those men to torture my sisters, I will kill her Ivan." I said looking out the window toward all of the trees outside.

"If she did this," he started, "you won't have to."

Nova

I'm running.

Trying to hide.

I hide underneath bed. I pull out my phone to call Ivan. He doesn't answer. I see the boots. Black ones. They walk out of the room. I tried to run to the door. My hair was being pulled in all directions. The monster is coming.

I keep trying to get away but that's when the pain starts. I can feel the punches, the kicks and the slaps. One kick to the stomach and I felt the air leave my lungs. I tried to breathe in but it was short lived as I saw a fist coming towards my face. I was met with darkness after that.

I'm in a car now, I know because I can hear the engine running and someone talking in the inside of the car. I hear voices. The trunk opens and someone pulls me out. I pretend to still be asleep. After about five minutes, I hear someone starting to speak.

"I have her. Open up." the monster said.

I could hear a door opening as the monster carried me over the threshold. I could hear laughter and voices all through the room. I could hear music. Music by Trill that hadn't been released yet.

Finally, the monster put me down and took the black bag off of my head. I didn't open my eyes immediately but when I did I was sitting in front of woman.

She had long black hair that fell to her waist but I couldn't see her face. She wore an all black dress with stockings underneath and red heels. When I tried to squint and loony at her she punched me. The blood fell from my lip as I tried to hide the pain. Realizing what I had done, she had grabbed a long black looking belt from a bag and stood behind me.

"String her up." She said.

The next thing I knew, I was hanging from the ceiling by my wrists and I could hear Envy crying. I couldn't see her but I could hear her. I could hear the men around me starting to focus their attention on me. I could feel something cold being traced down my back before I felt the burning.

I screamed.

"Nova! Nova! Wake up!" I heard a voice calling me.

I opened my eyes and Envy was sitting on my bed with her hands on my shoulders.

"Another nightmare?" she asked as she helped me sit up in the bed.

I nodded. It's been hard trying to maneuver, especially since I found out what happened. I haven't been able to look at Ivan in his face. I can't stand when they try to touch me. It's too much. 

Envy handed me a glass of water.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

I tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. It was like all the words I had learned to speak in my entire life had been stolen from me. She grabbed my hand.

"Come on. Up. Let's get you in the shower. We are not staying inside today with these men." She said trying to joke with me.

To ease her, I offered a small smile. With that, she got up and walked me to the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub while she ran the water and poured milk in the water. She grabbed some coconut and vanilla bath beads to pour in the water as well.

"Okay. Stand up." She said.

I stood up and she began to undress me. She started with my button up pajama shirt. When she pulled it off she gasped. My body was healing but I still had scars. She pulled off my bottoms and told me to get in the tub. I stepped in the water and I let the warmth consume me. I sat down and brung my knees to my face. She sat on the tub and began to wash my hair.

"Nova...can you speak?" She asked me.

I shrugged. I couldn't give her a straight answer. I tried to say no but the words just got stuck in my throat. She understood my silence and continued to wash my hair. After she finished, she rinsed my hair and she began to wash me up. After about 15 minutes, I finally got out of the tub. Walking into my bedroom, Envy pulled out my suitcase and looked through it. All of my clothes were entirely too showy for the condition my body was. She finally settled on a grey long sleeved shirt with a pair a black leggings. I was able to get my self dressed so she sat me down in front of the mirror and began to work on my hair. My curls fell in ringlets down my back as she combed her fingers through them. She decided to settle on a messy bun look with chopsticks sticking out my bun.

"Makeup?" She asked.

I shook my head.

I've always preferred my natural face.

I wanted to say this but I could only think it. I think that if I say anything, anything at all. I'll shatter. I have to keep myself together.

Envy ended up added some hoop earrings to my outfit and then she lined up three pairs of shoes in front of me.

"Pick." She said.

I pointed to some black sandals and she slid them on my feet. Looking out the window, I could see the sky. It was gray today.

"Don't worry, we're having a bonfire tonight." She said, "you can sit with me and we can eat marshmallows and play games."

I smiled a little bit.

"I know it's not much but...the boys, they're trying to help us get better." She said slowly.

I scoffed and I looked at her trying to detect sarcasm in her voice. I wasn't angry at Adonis because hadn't done anything to me. But Ivan....? As much as I wanted to be able to touch him and be around him it's hard.

He has a wife. That he said nothing about.

She grabs my hand and sits on the floor in front of me. "Nova...I know right now isn't a good time to be saying this but Ivan really cares about you. I know he does and I know you like him." I just looked at her.

It doesn't matter. He's married.

When I didn't budge, she got off of the floor and held out her hand so and I grabbed it.

"Come on. Let's get downstairs. They're waiting."

We walked down the stairs and walked into the living room. Adonis was on his phone and Ivan was in the kitchen cooking. I sat on the couch and Envy went to the kitchen. I could hear them talking in hushed conversation. I looked at Adonis and nodded towards the beach. He followed me as we walked by the water. He didn't say anything when he took off his jacket and wrapped it around me. We walked in silence. When we reached the edge of their property we turned back and walked towards the house. Before I walked inside, Adonis stopped me.

"Nova...I just want to apologize for what I told you that night before we left. I shouldn't have said anything because I know Ivan cares about you. I should've left that decision up to him." He finished.

He's right. Ivan should have told me.

I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. The tears were falling from my face. I was so broken and damaged now.

How could I be with anyone now?

He hugged me back, kissing my hair. "It'll be okay. I'm here for you. Me and Envy."

I sniffed and looking at him, I nodded.

"Come on Novie...talk, I know you can. Just try to say Donny." He pleaded with me.

I looked at him and my throat constricted as I tried to say his name.

"...D...D..." I started trying to say his name but it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

He rubbed my back and helped me catch my breath and I tried again.

"...Don...Donny.." I said looking at him. He smiled widely and proceeded to hug me.

"That's a start." He said, "Now. Come. We have to set up for the bonfire."

Walking to the side of the house where the fire pit was, I could hear Envy instructing Ivan in how to properly make s'mores. When they see us, they instantly invite us to join the fun. Envy comes to grab and Adonis goes towards Ivan by the fires pit. Sitting next to Envy, she wrapped her arm around me and pulled a blanket over us.

"Comfy?" She asked.

"....yeah..." I said hoarsely.

She gasped. "You're talking again?" She asked me and I made the 'little bit' gesture with my hand. She smiled and the night continued. We sat around the and while everyone talked and had fun I watched the fire burn. While Ivan and Envy played a board game Adonis went to get more firewood. I listened to the waves as they hit the shore every few seconds from the tide being high. I looked at the full moon shining brightly above me. When I finally startedpaying attention to what was going on I could feel eyes on me. I looked around and seen Ivan staring at me. He looked like he wanted to get up and sit next to me.

You sit next to him. Don't you think he owes you an explanation?

Without thinking, I stood up and looked at him as I came to sit next to him. Envy and Adonis were in their own little world at this point they had gotten up to go talk. When I sat down, he turned to look at me. He didn't say anything as I wrapped myself up in the blanket that he had next to him. After a few minutes of silence, I stand up to leave but he stops me.

"Don't. Sit." He said in a husky voice.

Slowly, I sat back down. He turned towards me and looked in my eyes. Before I knew what was happening, he pushed my back against the chair and he laid his head in my lap. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything. He closed his eyes and grabbed my hands placing them on his chest.

"Nova...I'm going to tell you something and I need you to listen to me. I need you to promise me that you will listen and then....if you want me to, if you really want me to...I'll leave you alone after this. Just please...hear me out?" He asked.

Breathing in slowly, I took a shaky breath.

"..okay." I said hoarsely.

He looked surprised to hear me speak but then he closed his eyes again and began to talk.

"I recognize that this is something that I should've told you before I began to pursue you. But please, understand that...all of it was real. I never faked with you." He said, taking a deep breath he continued, "Nova...when I was 13 years old my father sat me down and told me that when I turned 21, I would have to marry someone I didn't know. Being a kid, I thought he was joking. Until, one day, I came home from a school and there was a girl waiting for me in the living room. Her name is Leonia. My father and her father constructed a very well written contract that bound the two of us together. The contract was not to be broken...under no circumstances. Our marriage is a loveless one. I don't love her. I'm not in love with her."

This was beginning to be too much to take in, but, I needed answers. I needed to know what this was between us. I needed to know what all he was hiding from me. I needed to know.

"When I met you, your very presence shook me to my core. I had never been speechless in the presence of a woman before...until I met you. It was you. You make me feel better than I've ever felt in a long time. It's not about the physical things that we do. I genuinely enjoy being wrapped up in you...I love you, Nova Marie." He finished with his eyes still closed.

Did he just...

My thoughts were interrupted as he sat up and looked into my eyes. I lifted my hand and slowly put it on his face. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

I love you, Nova Marie.

I began to close the distance between me and him. My skin felt like it was on fire as I let the blanket fall from my shoulders. Our lips were inches apart and I wanted to close the distance desperately. I could feel him slowly wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulled me closer to him.

He'll hurt you....

I ignored the thought. I was tired of running away from what I wanted. I wanted Ivan. I brushed my lips against his softly, sucking at his bottom lip. Upon doing that, he groaned lightly as I began to nibble on his lip. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me into his lap. He began to trace down my back lightly as I straddled him. I wanted so badly to deepen the kiss but I wanted to stay like this with him. I wanted him to hold me just like this, I didn't care about consequences. He pulled away to take a breath as he rested his forehead against mine. As he leaned forward to kiss me again, I felt a raindrop hit my skin. Looking up, I could see the sky starting to get cloudy. The moon was hiding now and I could hear thunder.

"Come on pretty girl. Let's go inside." He said as he stood with me still in his lap. As we started to walk towards the house, I could hear Envy yelling.

"I hate you! Leave me alone!" She yelled.

Ivan let me down as I walked inside the house from the side door. Envy stormed past me and Ivan as she walked back outside into the rain. Adonis ran the down the stairs after her. Ivan looked at him but Adonis just kept going. We were alone now.

"Come on. Let's go to sleep." He said as he held out his hand.

We walked upstairs to my bedroom and he turned out the lights as I laid down in bed. He followed suit shortly after he took of his shirt. I could hear the thunder rolling in the clouds but I didn't feel afraid of it. Ivan pulled me closer to him and I laid on his chest. He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back. After a while, I could hear his breathing starting to even out as he fell asleep. I sat up and leaned down by his ear.

"...I love you too..," I said quietly.

Adonis

I followed Envy outside to the boat house. She must be really upset because she hates boats.

"f**k off Donny. Go away!" She yelled at me but I kept following her.

I'm not letting you get away this time.

As we got closer to the boathouse, she tried to run ahead of me and lock the doors so I wouldn't get in but she failed. I caught up to her in no time, pushing the door open as she stood in the corner with her arms folded.

"Envy..." I started.

"Stop it!" She said, "Just stop it! Leave me alone. You don't love me. I get it now."

She tried to walk around me but I blocked her. She yelled in frustration and then she began to hit me. I let her.

"I hate you! I hate you. I hate you. I hate you..." she repeated over and over as she hit me in the chest. I grabbed her hands as she smiled to the floor while she cried. I picked her up and walked towards the boat. I unlocked the cabin's door and walked down the steps towards the bedroom on the boat. I laid her in the bed and I went back upstairs to start the engine. I didn't have a specific destination in mind but after some thought I finally decided where to go.

The further we got away from our island residence, the better. Nobody would be able to hear her scream tonight. There would be no more hiding after tonight. After driving for about an hour, I could feel rain starting to fall. I stopped the boat and anchored it.

I walked back inside of the cabin and Envy was sitting up in the bed with her head on her knees. Her hair was falling elegantly down her back as I watched her rock back and forth. I sat on the bed without saying anything.

Tell her. Touch her. Do something...before you lose her.

I turned to look at her. Her body was covered in scars from the incident. She kept herself completely covered but I wanted nothing more than to kiss every scar and tell her how beautiful she was. I was about to stand up when she reached and grabbed at my shirt.

"Don't leave..." she said softly.

I sat back down and looked at her. She didn't let go of my shirt so I grabbed her hand and held it. I brought it to my lips and kissed the top of her hand. She tried to scoot away but I pulled her closer to me.

"Donny...don't." She said.

"Why...?" I said. I could hear my voice getting deeper and she could too because she jumped when I said this.

I leaned forward to kiss her cheek. I kissed her forehead.

"Donny..." she said in a shaky voice. She had put her knees down as I crawled closer to her. She reached forward and grabbed my shoulders trying to push me away but I persisted. I cupped her face and kissed her lips. Her lips were still as soft as they used to be. I pushed her down gently and she laid on the bed as I continued to kiss her. She moaned in my mouth as the storm outside got worse. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I unbuttoned her shirt. She gasped as I kissed along her rib cage and down to her belly button. When I got down to her shorts, she stopped me.

"No. Let me." She said.

She sat up and pulled off her shorts. She put a hand on her thigh and tried to lay down but I made her move her hand.

"Don't hide from me." I said, moving her hand. I looked at the scar she was covering and I kissed it. She moaned lightly and tried to get me to stop but I just moved to her waist line and began to kiss her navel. Grabbing her thighs, I kissed and bit at her cookie through her panties. I could see the wet spot she produced after I did that. My member was standing at attention as I pulled off her silk green panties. She put both hands over her yoni but I moved them and began to kiss around her center. Her legs began to shake as I got closer and closer to her pearl. Finally, after teasing her for a little while, I kissed her center as she cried out into the night. Her body jerked and I placed my hand on her stomach to keep her in place.

"Oh God..." she exclaimed.

Taking two fingers, I inserted them inside of her mouth.

"Suck." I instructed her. I pushed my fingers in and out of her mouth as she sucked them gently. When they were wet enough, I took them out and stuck them inside of her. She moaned lightly as she gripped my fingers. I continued to concentrate on her pearl as her hips began to move against my tongue.

"Donny...stop it, I'm..." she said in between breaths.

I could feel her getting tighter around me. Her moans were getting louder and I could tell she was getting closer to her release. I came up and kissed her lips as I continued to finger her. I could feel her nails piercing my skin but I didn't care.

"Come for me baby girl..." I whispered in her ear, "Let me have it."

Her body began to shake as she pulled me closer to her. I pulled my fingers out of her and licked them.

"You taste so good..." I said quietly. She covered her eyes as I stood up and pulled my pants off. Crawling between her legs, I kissed her neck and up to her lips as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I could feel my member getting harder as I got closer to her entrance. I continued to kiss her as she grabbed me and rubbed it against her. I bit my lip as she looked in my eyes. I started to slide inside of her flower as she cried out. She was so tight that I had to stop and ask if she was okay. She held me tightly as I began to stroke her soft and slow. She bit her lip as I pushed deeper inside of her.

"Envy...you're so tight around me..." I said huskily.

Her moaned reply let me know that she was enjoying what I was doing. I flipped over so that she was on top and she started to bring her flower down on me without regard of pain. I wanted to slow her down but she pushed my hands away as she continued at an unruly pace. I lifted up and cupped her breasts in my hands as I licked her n****e while pinching the other one with two fingers. Her eyes widened at the pleasure she was receiving. She continued to ride my member hard and I could feel her cookie starting get wetter around me.

"Donny...I..." she said trying to speak but I stopped her.

"I love you too..." I said in her ear.

She slowed down and looked in my eyes breathing heavily. I brushed a few strands of hair from her face, kissing her lips softly.

"I love you, Envy. I've loved you since we were kids." I said.

She kissed me softly, at first. Then the kiss turned deep and passionate My fingers followed the curves of her hips as she sucked on my lip softly. She pushed my member deeper into her center as I gripped her hips. The rain outside was hitting the side of the boat hard. I grabbed her neck firmly as she continued to push her body past its limits. I could feel her tightening around me as she got closer to her release. Pulling out, I bent her over on all fours as she spread her flower wider for me. I licked her c**t as she shivered and tried to move my head. Penetrating her, I slid inside of her while grabbing a handful of her hair. She started to push back at me as I gripped her hips, I was close to climaxing and she knew it. 

"I love you..." she said.

After a few seconds, I found my release in her womb. I laid down and she pulled a blanket over us as she lay on chest.

"Donny...." she started but I stopped her.

"Shhh," I said while wrapping my arms around her small body. "I meant every word."

The rain continued to pour as the boat rocked gently against the waves. Watching her sleep, was the most peaceful thing in the world. She never let me go and even after she fell asleep.

I'll never let you go again. I promise.