Suddenly Gone

CHAPTER 4

[FLASHBACK]

I was totally in shock when Jean just screamed over the phone when I answered her call.

"Jeans?! Why shout!?"

"Dawn! F*ck! Dave!" She was chasing for her breath when she talked to me. The annoyance on my face suddenly turned into a worry when I heard Dave's name.

"Why?! What happened?!"

"F*ck Dawn! Oh my god!!"

"C’mon Jean?! Can you please calm down first?! Tell me! You're making me damn nervous!" I already shouted at her. I knew it wasn't a good news coz I can hear it from her voice that she was panicking and she can't even pull her words together.

"Oh my gosh wait. Let me breathe. We’re here at the ball park. Please. Dave needs you here please." She said in her most calm tone but I know she was already trying to pull those words off nicely.

I suddenly grabbed the car key on top of my side table beside my bed and rushed downstairs.

"Where are you going Erin Dawn?" My mom asked as she saw me almost skipping two levels of our stairs going down the living room. "Careful Rin! Where are you going?" She was worried ‘coz she knows I’m tactless.

"Ma something happened to Dave!" I ran to the main door while trying to, at least, still inform my mom.

"What??"

"Ma I don't know but I need to see him now. This is really an emergency!" Then I opened the door and went straight to my black Ford Explorer.

"Sh*t sh*t? Why now Dave why now??"

I slammed the steering wheel as I tried to shift from gear to gear, making myself relaxed while driving my way to the ball park. My heart started to pound so loud and I just couldn't imagine what could have happened to him. Was it serious? Is he dying?

"F*ck Erin can you please relax," I whispered to myself as I made a turn to the right.

"Okay. I’m here piggy."

I turned off the engine and rushed myself to the wide green grass of this park. Children here usually play soccer every afternoon and random couples also spend their afternoons, giggling, cuddling under big acacia trees like f*ck as if they're in their own rooms. Families also spend picnic Sundays here.

I roamed my eyes around but to my dismay, there was no one on the area. Not even the group of boys I usually see here playing soccer, the random f*cking annoying couples snuggling under Acacia trees, not even birds.

"Wait. Am I lost? Ball park right?" I talked to myself as I slid my hand inside my pocket to get my phone. I dialed Jean's number as I turned my back to the park and was about to go straight to the car when I heard a voice.

"I wanna make you smile, whenever you're sad.

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.

All I wanna do is grow old with you."

My eyes looked down on the grass before turning my head to where that voice was. I think I just heard my piggy's voice.

When I looked back, I saw a little boy holding a long stem red rose fully bloom. And I think, I’m now slowly getting the idea that everything was a set-up.

The little boy gave it to me with a shy smile and that's when I recognized his face. He was one of those little boys who I often see here playing!

"He wanted me to tell you that he loves you," he said, almost laughing, after he realized how awkward those words were.

"Thank you!" I told him and pinched his cheeks. He ran to the soccer goal and leaned on the metal post. But I still don't get it. Where are the others? Jean? Dave? I know who owns that voice. I know it's Dave. It was even shaking as the voice sang the first stanza of that Adam Sandler hit.

Another boy appeared just at the back of the small stage of this park. Now I saw a few more little boys and they were pushing each other, like arguing who'll come next. They each gave me a long stem red rose and I was already tearing up just by their cute gestures.

The voice kept singing the song and more people were coming, giving me roses and some were heart-shaped flying balloons. How the hell were they able to fit just behind that small stage when they are more than 20 in number?!

I was afraid the balloons I was holding might fly me somewhere coz I am this typical petite thin girl whose height just reached 5'0?

"So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.

I could be the man who grows old with you."

And there I saw the man I've been wanting to see since the moment I rushed in here. I was out of words when I stared at him walking closer, carrying a big bouquet of pure red roses without any other flower mixed in the arrangement. It looked like a wedding bouquet but it had roses larger in number than those bouquets brides use for weddings. A ribbon was neatly tied in the middle of the stem and the roses were firmly intact.

I was already crying when I felt his presence now in front of me. I covered my face when I knew my tears were uncontrollable already. I love surprises but sometimes they also have disadvantages ‘coz it makes you look really stupid sometimes, making you emotional for something that's supposed to be laughing at.

"Yieeeeeee!" I heard the people around tease us as he tried to pull my hands off from covering my damped face with tears but I was strong enough not to reveal my swollen eyes.

"Hey. Baby. I’m sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." His soft voice tried to calm myself from this heart-warming, tear-dropping, knee-wobbling, unexpected accident-turned-to-anniversary celebration.

"I thought.. something bad happened.. to y—you.." I tried my hardest to make myself clear even if I had to express it while crying my frustrations out a while ago. I was damn scared when I heard Jean panicking a while ago. It sounded really real!

"Sorry Dawn!" I heard a feminine voice say as it was followed by a giggle. I removed my palms covering my face and saw Jean taking a video of what was happening. I had no choice but instead, smile it all away in front of the camera. She smiled at me like satisfied of how her acting got me here for like 5minutes only.

"Baby.."

My eyes went to Dave's and he cupped my face with both of his palms. He was way taller than me, about 5'10 and he was bowing his head which also made me look up to him.

"Yieeeeee!" People around never stopped teasing us with their cheers. Even little kids kept jumping up and down. I laughed as I felt giddy with everything he prepared for me. I thought we were just going out for dinner. I was okay with it. I had no problems with simple dinners outside a fancy or even not fancy restaurants. I don't care as long as I can be beside him in this most awaited time for couples. It was purely unexpected. I never thought someone would even dare surprise a typical girlfriend like me.

As I looked into his eyes, I told myself 'I'm never going to give this person up.' He just made me special and made me feel I deserve a big surprise. He made me feel like I'm a woman who deserves to be treated like the first and last. And I came to realize that I'd love to spend my whole life with someone like him - who doesn't need to set up surprises for me every day but make me feel surprised with his everyday love.

"I believe in firsts and lasts piggy," I whispered to him as my eyes closed and felt his nose touch mine.

"Why do you always call me piggy? I’m fit and I have a good built," He kept playing his nose with mine and I just had to smile with the warmth it causes whenever our physical bodies make contact.

"Tsk. Arrogant," I slapped his chest and this time, put all of my attention to his face.

"I'd love to be that someone who'll bear the title of 'first and last' you want all this time Baby.."

He smiled after saying those cheesy words he doesn't often tell me. I admit, it made me feel some wobbling worms inside my stomach and it felt like some rubber band was trying to pull both corners of my lips upward so I had to stretch my mouth from ear to ear. Can't contain his sweetness this time.

He suddenly gave me a peck on my lips which gave me chills all over my body and left my eyes almost dropping. I covered my mouth in shame.

"God! In front of kids Dave?!" I hissed. But I laughed about it in the end ‘coz it was a sweet kiss after all.

"Yieeeeeee!" Everyone cheered once again and clapped excitingly. It seems like everyone's thinking we're getting married soon.

"Yes! Hallelujah to a year of romance!” Jean shouted and left everyone saying,

“HALLELUJAH!”

"Hallelujah!"

I shouted out of nowhere as I raised my arms up in the air. Hallelujah to a year and just a year of relationship. Funny right? Then that was the last surprise we had in our relationship. A tear made its way down my cheek and that's when I felt the same pain I still carry all this time. I still cry over it. I wish I could just slam my head against the wall. I always pray and ask Him to give me amnesia instead ‘coz I don't want to remember every little bit of that fairytale gone wrong.

"Hey! Chill. You’re drunk," the same man who offered me a drink awhile ago is now worried of my state.

"Haha. Drunk? Me? Hahaha! you mean.. M-—my boyfr—oops! Wrong! My ex-boyfriend who dumped me.. is drunk! C—coz he wants us.. to be better.. alone.. ourselves.. alone hahaha! F*ck you!” I clapped my hands giggling at myself being overpowered by emotional state.

I don't know what's up with me but I suddenly felt emotional. I want to describe every little ache my broken heart felt the night he broke up with me. Dave has no idea how he has made me feel so ugly that night.

"Can.. y—you feel me?" I asked him and I noticed how the twinkle in his eyes disappeared and his face frowned from the angelic beauty it usually shows. Well, he's handsome even if he's serious, mad I guess, or annoyed.

"Do you know.. h—how I feel? Maybe not.. ‘Coz.. You.. H—have never been dumped just like that," I knew I was already crying while saying those words.

"O—one more shot please," I told the bartender.

"Enough." He strongly said. Is he mad? This oh-so-yummy guy stopped the bartender from pouring another shot in my small glass which made me eye him badly.

"Ahhhh.. Y---you want me to tell you a story. Hahahaha! Okay ," I faced him and wiped the tear endlessly falling from my eyes. I’m expecting a ruined eyeliner and mascara. So, I crossed my arms and legs and sat comfortably.

"It h-hurts.. so much.." I tried to smile at him. I know my eyes feel kind of sleepy. But I forced a smile even if I feel like my eyes are already closing. Thus, it permitted another batch of tears continuously falling on my wet cheeks.

He just stared at me seriously and I don't understand what emotion he is trying to show but I guess he's ready to listen.

"I always wanted..my first.. to be my last,” I laughed at myself for sharing this lame belief of mine before.

“Funny right? Just like a fairytale gone wrong.." I paused and still tried to smile it all away but I just can't control it any more.

Still with his serious stare in me, I realized I was already crying with my shoulders shaking up and down. He just watched me release all the tensions I've been holding on for 5 months and I continued talking even if I know I'll look more devastated right after this.

"I just loved.. Was that wrong? I gave my best.. in our relationship.. Then, how can he just leave me like that? What made him change his mind? Did he find another woman better than me? Bigger breasts? Way taller? Good at s*x? Is it because I’m a virgin?! “ I yelled with a little sarcasm on my laugh

“We had so so many plans ahead of us but.. I never thought.. He, himself, would be the one breaking them all. . 'coz he.. gave up.. without any reason worth.. giving up."

And I didn't know what I was doing already but I somewhat felt better that a guy has listened to how a girl feels when a boyfriend dumps them. I was used to Jean who's always there lending an ear to me. That, I can say, is somewhat biased coz she's a woman. This guy should learn from me!

"Hahahaha! F*ck that relationship!" I raised my arms up again in the air and I felt myself falling behind me because of dizziness.

I hate to admit this but damn his beautiful eyes were glued on mine as he carried my body with his arm when I almost fell on my back.

He caught me.

Why do I feel this tickling sensation whenever we have eye contact? Is he interested in me?! I’m not saying that Dave is ugly but I can say this man looks way better than him. I giggled just by thinking about it which made him look at me with wonder on his face. F*ck. Is this what they call drunk?

My body was still bent while his arm was supporting my back so I won't fall, but I never felt his arm shake. Every inch of his face seemed to be perfectly molded and it was a picturesque view my eyes would always want to watch every second. He's damn handso— the most handsome face I've seen in my 21 years here in this crooked life I have.

"You're drun—“

He was left speechless when I landed my lips on his. I saw his eyes never blinked even if mine has already slightly closed with the dizziness I’m feeling already. It's like a sack of rice is tied on both of my lashes and it wants to close right now but I tried my best to watch for his reaction. He's so cute.

I didn't know what I was doing but I wanted to figure out something. I want to feel something I haven't felt before. I want to feel loved even just this night. I want someone to hold me like I’m the most fragile human ever held and is afraid to let go of me. I want someone who'll never want me away from him. Someone who'll be afraid to lose me. Someone who'll chase me wherever I go. Someone who'll keep an eye on me even if many eyes would love to steal him away from me. Someone who might not be my first but will surely be my last.

I was about to completely close my eyes as I felt the simple touch of my lips on his but he tried to push me away. I snaked my arms around him not minding the people around and kissed him, but this time, I needed a response. I needed to feel his lips moving against mine and so I tried nibbling his lower lip. F*ck Erin. The real question comes here. You're not turning back, are you?

I guess no one will notice except this innocent-looking bartender ‘coz the venue has been dim. Only disco lights were keeping the whole venue lit.

"F*ck" he whispered as he broke the kiss for a while, our foreheads touching.

My head felt heavy like I would fall in no time but his arms behind me made me safe.

"I think we'll need a room," I uttered without a pause. That smell from his mouth gave me goosebumps as I saw him breathe heavily. My left palm was on his chest as I felt it breathe in and out. Erin! Now you know, alcoholic drinks make you a slut! You're out of your mind!

I had a small quarrel between my feelings and my brain but I guess my feelings came more dominant this time.

I concluded I was really drunk ‘coz I just found myself lying on a white-covered foam and everything was kind of blurry already.

I saw this man unbutton his shirt and immediately positioned himself on top of me. My eyes were slightly opened but I could still see his gorgeous appeal I've been wanting to own for the night.

I grabbed his nape and this time, I kissed him torridly. He responded with the same intensity and my flesh felt more than satisfied the way he made me crazy over him— from his stare, to his smile, his touches, his lips, his built. He's emitting a strange but strong appeal that I couldn't bear but just want to try to savor it myself.

His bare chest was touching my almost seen breasts, but just as what I was thinking, his hands travelled from my neck, pulling down the strap of my dress while still giving me that hot and intense kiss. He was needy, I know, from the way he claimed my lips. He played with my upper lip then transferred to my lower lip and bit it as if it was going to be ripped. I loved it though.

My eyes were completely closed when his kiss travelled from my lips, never leaving a bit of my skin unkissed, to my jaw down to my neck. I moaned as I felt his tongue tickling the back of my ears.

"Sh*t" he hissed which aroused me more. His curse felt like I was leaving him breathless with how I was working in this one in a million night with some pretty guy here.

"More," I whispered as his tongue glided from the tip of my ear to my neck and slowly made its way to my chest. His hands slowly climbed up from my abdomen and I felt his warm palm just on top of my left breast. I know I'm wearing something that has cushions inside but I could still feel the hunger of his palms to touch my bare skin.

My eyes kind of opened a bit this time ‘coz I thought to myself, no one has ever seen me naked on top. I was afraid he wouldn't be satisfied of what my crowns can offer.

I was out of my mind for a while but the moment he tried to squeeze my left breast even with my dress still on, I took the courage to pull his strong arms away from me. I got off from my lying position and tried to sit on him, my legs apart on both sides.

"Not too fast," I brushed my hair up and I felt his right arm on my back as I arched my body forward to give him more access. His head already was on the same level with my chest and a little more effort to pull my dress down, he can have the whole night to play with my mountains.

I was expecting him to pull it down but I just found his attention fully on my neck and my lips. He would often caress my thighs but it never went there on the wet spot.

I stopped him from attacking my neck and cupped his face. I saw the satisfaction from his eyes and I blushed when I saw him smirk at me.

"I'll have you the whole night," he said and I saw his fingers pull the strap of my dress down to my arms as I felt the cold air inside the room kiss my bare skin. There, I assumed, that that was the cue to the last day of being an innocent virgin.

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