Chapter four
1103 Words
Alison’s POV
“Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could you? How could you kiss him, Alison? You fool! It was clearly a mistake” I scolded myself on my way home.
What was I going to do? What if I got fired the next day? There was a high possibility of that, he hated my guts, and I wasn't a fool. I could see the glare on his face whenever he looked my way, he always had his scrunched up like I reeked. His eyes were always full of distrust and disgust.
He would never look me in the eye, but still, every chance he got he made sure to make it painfully clear that I didn't belong there, that I was repulsive.
I took the bus home and skipped dinner because the taste of a certain green-eyed man's lips was still lingering in my mind, distracting me with his soft, plush skin, the feel of his warm breath against my cheek, and the smell of the cologne he used.
The memory of those lips was enough for me to fill up my stomach without realizing it at some point in time. I shouldn't be thinking about him, I know but it felt so good too and I hadn’t been close to any guy like that, not after I turned seventeen, not after it happened.
I tried not to think about it, pushing away my thoughts as sleep wrapped its dominating fingers around me.
I was grounded and wasn't supposed to go out but Jake, my boyfriend , was throwing a sick birthday party and I needed to be there.
“Sweetie, are you alright in there?” I rolled my eyes at my mom's voice.
“Yes!”
Then an idea came to my mind. When I was sure they had all gone to bed, I changed into my party clothes, fixed my pillows under my duvet so they would think I'm sleeping well, then snuck out of my bedroom window. I could hear the blaring of music in Jake’s house when my angry parents stormed in and dragged me off while other kids giggled.
“I am so disappointed in you Ally” my dad's voice echoed in his car.
“Don't Ally me! you embarrassed me in front of everyone! I hate you!” I sobbed.
My parents didn't say a thing, but I could see the hurt on their faces.
“Stop the car!” I yelled at my Dad. “I said," Pullover!” I screamed harder.
“Don't be ridiculous Ally, it's the middle of the night.” my mom chided.
It only seemed to spite me and as if possessed, I jumped from the back seat, grabbing the steering.
The horror on my parent’s faces was obvious.
They both knew I have no means of controlling my temper and my actions and yet I did this.
That should have stopped me but I didn't care, I kept struggling and yelling and screaming and cursing. It felt great. I wanted them to be upset, even though they weren't really. This was fun, it was exhilarating, and I relished every single second I spent on it. The way their faces twisted with anger, the blood running down my cheeks, and my own laugh echoed in the car.
Then the tires began to screech and we all realized something was wrong. Then everything went black. My scream died in my throat and my eyes closed. I felt nothing except darkness. I opened my eyes, I saw something moving in front of my face. I blinked and I saw more things, people, a big building...it was a hospital. I could see nurses, doctors, and machines and the smell of disinfectant filled the room, making me gag slightly.
But there was no sign of my parents.
I never saw them again.
The remains of their battered bodies haunted the rest of my nights and I struggled to wake up from this whole replay of memory, I couldn’t. I was being dragged into an endless darkness where all I could hear was the screams of my own mother, the echo of her dying words ringing in my ears, over and over and over...she loved me, she called me her child.
When the nightmares finally let go of me, I got up with tears rolling down my eyes and a raging headache. My body felt numb and hollow as the memories of my past life flashed through my head.
I walked to the door with a pounding heart, not trusting my feet. As soon as my hand reached the door knob and turned it, it creaked loudly. There was something dark waiting behind the door like the shadows of my worst nightmares come alive.
For one second I thought it was a monster trying to grab my leg and drag me to the pit of hell, but then I noticed that no footsteps or voices were coming out from the darkness but inside my head.
My demons haunted and taunted me as usual, reminding me that I killed my parents.
I killed my parents, if I hadn't gone out that night, if I hadn't acted up they would still be here but I was seventeen and dumb and reckless and I couldn't help but act the way I did.
I couldn't go back to sleep anymore, I waited until it was dawn and began to dress slowly for work. I also hated the idea of going there, knowing the main might be a pink slip awaiting me.
Abby didn't have any episodes which I was grateful for and Cindy was doing a great job looking after her on my behalf.
When I got to the mansion, he was not home. I heard he left quite early, I did a mental fist pump because I had arrived late.
Somewhere along cleaning one of the restrooms, I had the greatest mental breakdown ever. I cried until my vision blurred and I collapsed on the floor, unable to stand anymore. The cold tile beneath my fingertips and the stench of antiseptic made me feel nauseous, my heart hammered in my chest, and my stomach churned with nausea.
There was a sharp pain in my temple and I winced. My forehead felt hot and feverish, I wondered why it was hurting. A dull ache spread to my neck and shoulders and my knees wobbled.
I leaned on the wall beside me to regain my composure, breathing deeply.
After about what felt like hours but was a few minutes, I straightened my apron around my waist and continued cleaning.
- Writer
