Shades of Blue

Prologue

Date Clock: 18:00

Note:* Date Clock is a symbolic metaphor, representing the main character's ages; since 3 of them are the same age, Date Clock merely helps to know the timeline. 18:00, means right aftrer they turned 18 for example.

It long passed, since Kylie Allen had felt the true comfort. And she was starting to forget the true meaning of it. Lately, her mother Ashly, was really going towards death. Kylie has been meeting her these days, and sometimes even talked to her, without hearing any responses. She always loved her mother. Ashly was too young to die, and this irritated Kylie. Now she was standing next to Ashly’s bed. Her feelings and senses numb. She always tried to come off as strong, but now was no time for that, she couldn’t. Ashly had told her not to cry, that death is something which will take all of us, and whoever is weaker, is dying more painful and more shameful. Of course, these words were for a few months ago. Now, she couldn’t even recognize her daughter.

Some minutes ago, when Kylie had entered the room, she had said “mother!” and after a while “I missed you”, and only then, she remembered the fact of her’s. Then her mind went back in time and remembered the days on which they together visited nature, and after moments of walking among tall trees next to tall mountains, they sat on a log and talked about everything but her father. Ashly always advised her about how she should make her life with her own decisions in the upcoming future. She always wanted Kylie to have a better life than she herself could imagine. Kylie had grown up among some which their greatest accomplishment or aim, was owning a convenient and peaceful life. But Ashly told her flipside of that, “face with difficulties and make your days a mess, if it’s needed to make a great life and character of yourself at the end."

She cut these memories and looked at her now pale and almost dead face. She was feeling weaker and weaker till her father, James, opened the door and said,“come girl, it’s time to go."

She accepted and released Ashly’s hand with no resistance, then left the room. After a while, James was driving her home, with an old car he had borrowed from a friend at the time, and was defining her how to not let a part of life affect the other, and her mother’s death shouldn’t ruin or even depress her life. Kylie was looking out of the car. With silence. Life always flows foward, she noticed. Rays of light reflecting everywhere, groups of teenager’s laughing with each other, the death of ...

"Hey Kylie, did you hear me?”

Kylie flinched, “yes dad.”

"You shouldn’t let it happen. You have a long life ahead. Me and your mother expect things from you,” James glanced at her.

Kylie exactly knew how different was her father’s expectations compared to her mother’s. “Yeah dad, I know," and looked back to the streets.

“If you are not feeling well, you can lose school tomorrow and stay home.”

"I may go to Emily.”

"Not that one. I think it’s better for you to be home.”

Kylie gave James a harsh look, “dad! You can not forbid me from doing anything.”

"I can.”

Kylie sighed, “I wish you were in her place.”

James just watched her.

It was turning dark by the time they got home. James went to his room without any assertions, but Kylie knew that he won’t show up till late morning. It was evident, James was remorseful for his deeds, and mourning for his wife. Even though James and Ashly had loved each other, they had had some awful controversies which often led to kylie’s peevish, and imprisonment of herself. Ironically, those disputes made more distance between Kylie and them, than the two of themselves. James never found a real job, his life was ended with his gambles and bets on sport contests, and definitely, he never earned a good chunk of money from that. And this was Ashly’s nervousness. She wished James to get a Job and help to make a happy life for their daughter. However, it seemed that Kylie didn’t concern these things, she just wanted a tranquil life. She never asked them to buy her anything, she never complained about her bad wardrobe. The only thing she wanted was often silence of them.

Since Kylie was the sole child of Allen family, they had a small and at least for now, quiet house. Two rooms, one for Kylie and one for James. The kitchen and the living room were merged in, and there was a hallway with stairs next to it which led up to storage room.

Kylie went to her room, and laid on her bed. All her feelings were out of reach, and were getting out of control. She tried listening to music, but it was too overused for her. She wanted to burst in tears, but it just wouldn’t happen. It was like she feared unconsciously to see herself weep. She laid in every side of her bed while playing with her brown hair, but it was useless. Finally, she made her choice.

It was dark by then, and Kylie’s noiseless movements mingled with darkness. She opened and closed the doors stealthily and walked alongside of the avenue. The night sky was cloudy and the air fresh. Walking in this condition always helped her to feel better, but that night, it didn’t. She was in front of Emily’s house after moments, walked to the door and hesitated. Then knocked. Josephine, Emily’s grandmother opened the door. Old Josephine with a dummy smile asked her what she was doing there at that hour and asked her in, but Kylie gave her an excuse that she merely wanted to talk to her for a minute. Emily was up in her room, as usual. Josephine went to call her out, and some minutes later Emily showed up, with disheveled hair. Kylie was waiting next to the single tree at the right side of the green yard. Emily came to her slowly, and noticed her eyes. Kylie’s big eyes with pretty eyelashes. She always scowled when she was upset, and Emily knew it. She was staring at her eyes, when halted in front of her.

"Hey Kylie, is everything fine?”

Kylie hesitated, "didn’t I bother you?”

"You never bother me Kylie, you know it.” Emily’s face was determined.

“I am not fine Emily.”

"Why?”

"It’s my mother, she is not fine.”

Emily’s face had no sign of any feelings. “Oh Kylie, what can I say to you? Except that it’s an unchangeable fact for all of us.”

“I know, but honestly, it wasn’t the time. I had lots of bad feelings about my ongoing life, about my future and now this. I think I will never get rid of misery.”

Emily made a face. “You are merely 18. Don’t worry much, it will only worsen everything for you.”

Kylie avoided looking at her eyes. “It’s the worst it can get. I’m going mad.”

Emily gestured with her head, “you can come to me if you can’t sleep.”

“No thank you, I think I need something else.”

Emily didn’t answer and Kylie looked into her eyes innocently. “Give me an Ecstacy.”

Emily laughed and looked away. “Oh dear, what do you want to do with yourself?”

“You have been using it for 2 years, even with alcohol.”

"But it’s not a healthy thing for you to help.”

"Emily please.”

*

Kylie returned home, fast. Without any hesitation, she made her way to the kitchen and swallowed the pill with a glass of water. Then went to her room, turned off the light and laid down on her bed. She stayed awake till midnight, and was asleep till late morning. When she woke up, saw the light coming inside from the left window, and giving a brighter mood to the brown wallpapers. She felt like she spent a week in a night and struggled to remember. It seemed strange to her. Then, since she was feeling much better, decided to not think about anything. She eyed her mobile clock, went out of her room and took a shower. Then reached close to James’ room, while trying to look more jolly and alive. Knocked on the door and asked, “dad?” She did not hear anything, so opened the door and found it empty. Then went back to her room.

That day when James came back, told her that he had been at the hospital, her mother was dead and tomorrow would be Ashly’s funeral.