Shadows of Us

Chapter 3

ROANNE.

The minute I got down from the plane, I texted Cassie to let her know and then I went to do some cash exchange. I hate spending cash, but it’s all I’d have to do for now. I also got a new sim card. After getting a room at a hotel -unreasonably expensive, by the way- I take a shower. It was a long flight and I should probably sleep, but it’s day time here, so I have to go now. I send Cassie a quick text, and change into the best corporate dress I have, put on some heels and make up of course- best combo for my confidence. If Scott is truly there, he’d be surprised. For most of our relationship, I’d been in hoodies and sweats or tops and jeans. Holding the card tight in my hand, I enter a cab and call out the address to the man. “You work there?” He asks, eyeing me in the mirror. I tense. “Why?” I ask defensively and he chuckles. “It’s just- I heard they’re really racist there. They allegedly don’t hire black women” He says and I relax. “For real? That’s disgusting” “Know right? But they’re good at what they do, so I guess the mass don’t really care. One of the richest firms in London.” “Hm” That doesn’t sound like what Scott would be a part of, but I’d go there anyway. I thank him when he drops me off and strut into the building. I walk to the receptionist and flash her a soft smile. “Hi.” “Good afternoon ma. How may I help you?” “I’m looking for someone. I think he works here or has some business here.” “I would appreciate specifics ma. We have lots of staff and clients” Ugh. “Scott Weston” She types away and then just stops and sighs. “What’s wrong?” “It’s just...well, we don’t have any Scott Weston on the list of workers here” I stare into space, trying to think of what to do next. This was my only lead. “What’s up?” Another staff walks up to the one behind the desk and she either cannot whisper or she wants me to hear her, because I hear murmured her words loud and clear. “Thought the whole Scott Weston thing was over, but I guess not. It’s been about two years since someone came looking for the guy. She’s here for him too.” “Hm” The guy turns to me and I see pity flash in their eyes. Scott Weston thing? “What do you mean?” I ask, mentally cringing at the desperation in my tone. The lady gives a very unnecessary sigh before answering me. “I think this Scott Weston guy is a scam. I don’t know. I think about 2 or 3 girls have shown up here asking for the guy. The last one was a drama queen. Rolling on the floor, begging us to let her see him. But, we have no reason to lie. Let me guess he has green eyes? Soft blonde hair? Legs that run for hours?” She leans forward. “Personally, I’m a girl’s girl. I hate players. If he worked here, I’d give you his contact address too, but he doesn’t. Did he say he did?” She asks and I want to answer her. I really do, but my mouth can’t seem to open. Tears cloud my vision as her voice echoes in my mind. Green eyes. Soft blonde hair. Legs that run for hours. About 2 or 3 girls have shown up here asking for the guy. Which means I’m like the fourth person. The fourth ‘girlfriend’. The fourth foolish girl who fell for an imaginary guy. A liar. Possibly a scammer. Except those tags feel so wrong when describing Scott. He only let me pay for things when I fought for it. He never seemed like someone after my money. Hell, he bought me an apartment, because we stayed in different towns. He needed to be ‘close to me’ so he got us an apartment right at the heart of Seattle. He met my parents and always gushed about how beautiful my mum was. He used to call her mum. My mum would complain that I didn’t know my South African native language, so he’d learn at least one word in Zulu occasionally and teach it to me. That’s Scott Weston. Handsome, caring, godly, intentional man. It’s not easy to fake being that person for 1 year. Right? “Ma’am” A firm voice brings me back and I will my tears to not fall. “Yeah. Um, thank you. Can I um- Can I leave my number with you? If you get anything- any...” What am I saying? They clearly don’t know who he is. “You know what? Forget it. Thank you. I already said that. I know. I um. Yeah. So yeah. Have a nice day. Thank you, again.” I stutter out and turn around from their pity gazes. Walking away from them feels like a walk of shame, and I hate it. I hate it. As much as I’ve always been drawn to love, I’ve never considered myself a fool for love. But I guess I probably was. Probably am. But can anyone blame me, really? I had no reason to suspect anything. When I walked in here, I wanted answers, but now I’m just left confused, hurt, unanswered and with an even bigger question; ‘Why?’ It’s not until I enter the cab that I burst into tears. The cab man clears his throat and I mumble the name of my hotel and continue crying. I wonder if Scott’s thinking about me. He knows I’m a cry-baby, so he probably knows I’m crying. I wonder if he’s regretting it. Or if he even cares. If he ever cared. When I get back to my hotel room, I call Cassie. “Hey girl. Any update?” “I went to the company, and apparently I’m not the only girl whose come to look for a Scott Weston in the past years.” “What?!” She screams. “Oh no girl. That is horrible. Are you serious? I- I’m so shocked. Scott? What does that mean? Did he ask you for money often?” “He didn’t. I’ve thought about it. He seemed loaded. Spent lots on me. He bought my younger sister a car, Cassie” “Trueee. Oh my God” She goes silent. “I’m sorry, I’m just- I don’t know what to say, babe” “It’s fine. It’s messy and confusing. I’m just so sad right now. I can’t remember the last time I was this sad.” “Probably when you broke up with Jay. The Asian guy” “Hm. And that was about 4 years ago?” “3 years, girl” “Right.” “Roanne” Her voice is soft, careful. “Yeah?” “What are you gonna do now?” “I don’t know. I think I wanna come home, but then I’ve forgotten what home feels like without Scott. God, even his name hurts to say. It’s probably a fake name. He lied to me, Cassie. I gave him my whole entire heart and he just took it and lied to me all the way. He probably left that card on purpose.” “Yeah? Maybe he gets off on the chase. i***t” “Hey. Language” She laughs. “Sorry sorry. I’m just really mad right now.” I sigh. “I hate this. I wish I could like rewind” “Nah. I wish I could fast forward to when you’re done being heartbroken over him.” “I don’t know that I ever can” “You can. You just have to find someone better.” Now that. That sounds like it’d take forever. When I get off the phone with Cassie, I wash up, change into my pjs, order iced cream and pizza and just reminisce, because who doesn’t do that after a break up? “I hate you” I yell when he drops me on the bed with a thud and runs out. “You know more than I do that that’s a lie!” He yells back as I chase him. “Scott! You should be giving me a headstart, not cheating!” “Sorry babe. Not this time” He bounces on the couch and takes the tv remote, raising his hands in victory as he tunes in to today’s basketball match. I lay beside him and place my head on his laps, panting like a dog. “You need to go to the gym more often” He teases and I slap his leg. “I don’t need to lose any fat” “Not that, babe. You’re perfect. But you know exercise also helps you stay fit, so you don’t get out of breath in such a short run.” I glare up at him and watch his eyes soften as he leans down and gives me a soft kiss. I melt immediately and he only pulls away when the match starts. I have a reality show to watch and he has a match to watch, so we -he- declared a race for the winner, and then he went ahead to cheat. After minutes of grumbling and rolling around, he sighs and changes the channel. “Don’t do that. You won the tv time – not fair and square, but meh. I’m not a sore loser.” I say and he chuckles. “The new episode isn’t dropping till 9, my love” That makes me sit up. “What?” “I checked it out. You said it’d drop by 7, but it’s 9. I can watch the match on my phone, you know.” I take my phone to check the Seattle Twitter page for the reality show and there it is. ‘New episode out by 9pm, stay tuned’ His soft chuckles, makes me look up at him. “If anyone’s ever going to compromise, it has to be me, okay?” He says and changes the channel back to the basketball game. “That’s not right though.” I raise my hands and stare at them. “It’s you and I in the relationship. Together. Sometimes you’d compromise and other times, I’d compromise. It’s all about sacrifice, and it’d no longer be you and I if you’re the only one doing the sacrificing” When I finish, I drop my hands and look up to see him looking at me. He leans down to drop another kiss on my lips. “I love you” He says, lips still on mine. We both freeze. We’ve never said that. I mean, I guess somehow it was implied. We’ve been together for a while now, and I love him. I do. I guess some part of me has just been waiting for him to say it first. “Do you- do you mean that?” I ask him and he remains frozen for a few seconds, and then he relaxes. “More than anything I’ve ever said” I smile. He turns red. “I love you more” I whisper and he places a hand on my cheek just as the commentators on the tv yell. Someone scored or whatever. But, my Scott doesn’t look at the tv, he keeps his steady green eyes on me. Staring deeply at my brown eyes. “You couldn’t possibly love me more than I love you” He says and kisses me again.