Freedom Lights

EBM

We were silent as we walked, but I wasn’t numb enough not to notice where we were heading. More accurately, toward what car we were walking.

“She’s yours?!” I practically ran to the black beauty that was shining like my knight in shining armor. The only kind I would ever want.

“Yeah? Wait, you know about my car but you don’t know who I am?” He stood a couple yards behind me, watching me run my hands over the Impalas sleek metal frame, that was as black as the midnight sky but sparkling just as bright.

“Honestly, I thought it was Johns, but yeah. I’ve ordered so many parts, dreamt about seeing it, driving it so many times. I haven’t had the luxury of working on a lot of classics like this one. Small towns, people don’t normally drive the good s**t. But this…” I trailed off. If I had a dream car, this was it. I was practically drooling all over her hood.

“It’s not my dad’s anymore. He gave it to me last spring.” I shot a look at him.

“And you’re treating her properly? You pump the carburetor before shifting her into gear? Are her oil changes up to date? If you can’t…’

‘Slow down there, Judgmental Judy. I know how to take care of my own damn car.” He was glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes, “Just making sure a pretty boy like yourself can manage such machinery.”

To my surprise, Dean grinned, “You think I’m pretty?”

“I think your head is so inflated, I'm surprised you don’t flatten her tires the moment you sit down.” I shot back, crossing my arms over my chest and c*****g my hip out. My signature: I'm not dealing with your s**t stance.

Dean’s smile immediately fell, and did he just growl at me?

“Get in the car.”

“Bossy.” I open the door, savoring the groan of metal as I did so before gingerly sitting on her pristine leather interior. God, it even smells like perfection. I didn’t think it could get much better, then he turned the key, and the engine roared to life.

I’m definitely going to have to change my pants when I get home. The sound that came from under the hood filled my insides with warmth. But it got better as he pumped the gas and the rev sounded loud and clear. If I wasn’t a controlled woman, I might've moaned out loud. What can I say? The car was sexy. It also didn’t help that the driver was just as sexy.

“Are you alright over there?” When did I shut my eyes? I opened them and looked over to the cocky motherfucker who was smirking at me.

“Just savoring the beauty of a well made car is all.” I shifted, trying to alleviate the pressure that was building in my core, between the purr of the car beneath me and the god of a man next to me, I was in deep s**t.

Dean just hummed as he put the car in drive and started toward the edge of town. I rolled my window down as we rode in silence. It was only a ten minute drive to my house, but I was damn well going to enjoy every second.

He must've sensed how much I needed the clarity of this drive. How much I needed the silence to put my thoughts in order before I saw my son. He didn't break the silence. He just kept his gaze on the road as we followed it home.

I had to pull myself from the repetition of tonight's events through my head as we eased into the drive. I felt Dean shut the car off as I gazed at my house.

“Come on, I’ll walk you up.” The groan of metal brought me fully back to reality. I sighed before easing myself out of the car.

“Until next time, black beauty” I whispered as I patted her roof in a farewell. I turned, heading toward the front of the house, Dean following close behind.

As I walked in the front door, I was met with a smash of human weight, otherwise known as Annie.

“Remi, what the hell?! This is the second time this month you’ve failed to warn me you'd be home late. What is going on? Are you okay?” She was holding me by the shoulders, her eyes frantically scanning up and down my body, looking for the physical harm that must've caused my lateness.

“I’m fine. Jake stopped by the shop, wanted to talk.” I tried to shoot my message across vaguely. By the widening of her eyes, I think she got my message. The same time I heard the little pitter patter of small footsteps running my way, was the exact moment Dean decided to grace my doorstep and walk inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Dean?”

“Dean!” Annie asked and James yelled at the exact same time. Annie turned her questioning gaze to me as James ran and jumped into Dean’s arms. I was super pissed that my son had just passed me up after not seeing me all day, and went straight to the douchebag behind me.

“Hey, big man. Good to see you again.” My queasiness was coming back as I watched my son and Dean grin at eachother like the other held the moon. This was not good.

“You’re free to go Annie. Thank you for being such a trooper and dealing with….” I let the words my bullshit go unsaid.

Her eyes bounced between me and the man who was currently talking to my son about his favorite car James was showing him. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, feeling incredibly uncomfortable about this whole messy situation.

“Sure, I’m just glad you’re okay. James ate, and had a bath. We were about to read a bedtime story when you got here.” She gave me the same look Kate does when I have information to spill at a later point in time.

“Thank you. For everything. Send me a text when you get home please.”

She grabbed her bags from the den, shooting me a smile before walking towards the door, Dean stepping to the side to allow her to leave.

“Good seeing you Dean.” Annie waved gently to Dean and kissed James on top of his head.

“You too Annie, be careful going home.”

“Always am, Bye Jameson. I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“Bye Annie! Love you!”

“Love you too, little man!” And out the door she went, leaving me alone with the man who had come to rescue me tonight. Puke.

“Thanks for walking me in. But I can handle it from here.” I walked up to the boys, Jameson jumping into my arms hugging me tight. God, I didn’t know how badly I needed my son until his little arms wrapped tightly around my neck. I closed my eyes, savoring the sanctity of my baby’s hold. James might need me, but I needed him just as much, if not more.

“I’m gonna stay.” My eyes shot open and straight to Dean’s determined gaze.

“No, go home. Heal. Your ankle is still broken. I can tell by the hobble in your walk. I can handle being home alone. I’m not a child.” I set James down and he walked to the den and sat on the floor, surrounded by his load of toy cars.

“You’re right. You’re not a child. But the one in there likes me, unlike you. So, I’m going to go see what kind of cars he has and see what he can tell me about them.” I stood stock still, frozen with shock watching as Dean flashing that stupid smile before turning to sit with James in the den.

I should argue with him. I should tell him Jameson doesn’t need to get attached to a temporary man. One that has been showing up way too often for my comfort. I mean who the hell does this egotistical, beautiful man think he is? He can’t just come in here, stomp all over my rules. Barrel into my life like a bull in a china shop because what? Because I didn’t let him die on the side of the road? Pffffft. As if.

But as I open my mouth to tell the EBM (egotistical, beautiful man) to get lost, I stop short. The sight before me taking my breath and any future breaths I might have right out of my body. Jameson was beaming. A smile on his face that I haven’t really seen for quite some time. He was talking a mile a minute, not even really making much sense. But Dean sat there, pretending to understand the toddler babble. Asking about his favorites and in return showing his favorites of the group. I don’t know how long I watched them race the cars on the living room carpet. I don’t know when I had sunk into a kitchen chair and watched from across the hall. The interaction was small, but so much more than just a friend of the family playing with my son.

When Jake had shown up, delivering the blows he did, the thing I took to heart the most was the huge loss of male influence in James’ life. But watching the two of them, I realize how wrong I had been. James has enough men in his life. My dad, the boys at the shop, all my dad’s friends. And by the looks of it, Dean Winchester was wiggling his way into that ring as well. I should've realized I can handle anything life throws at me, as long as I have that little blonde haired blue eyed boy by my side.

“Mommy, i tired.” Jameson came waddling into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around my neck and laying his head on my shoulder. The content sigh that left my lips was also the weight of the world lifting from my shoulders.

“Alright my little demon, let's get you to bed.” Before I can walk him to his room, he wiggles free of my hold and jumps into Dean’s

“Night night, Dean.” I could read the shock on Dean’s face, but he took the squeeze of tiny arms in stride.

“Good night big man, I’ll see you later okay?” Jameson just nods sleepily before reaching for me again.

I slowly walk him to his room, pull the covers back on his little toddler bed before laying him gently down.

As I tuck him in his whisper comes, “I wike Dean mommy.”

I inhale sharply, this is what I was afraid of, “I know you do.” My son was asleep before I even finished my sentence. Taking a deep breath, I rise from the bed and exit the room, quietly closing the door behind me.

I tiptoe silently down the stairs and into the kitchen before I finally breathe. Todays events, hell the whole week of events weighing heavy on my mind sending me back into lala land of ‘what the f**k’.

“He’s a helluva kid.” I jumped at the sound of Dean’s voice. I was hoping he had slipped out.

I spun around facing him. He was leaning against the kitchen doorway, arms bulging and crossed over his chest.

“s**t. I figured you had left.” I took a steadying breath, realizing how much I needed to remind myself to breathe in this man's presence, “Thank you, I’ve worked hard on him.” I flash a smile. I was proud of my son. He was smart, and loving. He was persistent and resilient. He was perfect.

“I can tell, he looks at you like you hung the friggin’ moon.”

“As he should, because I did.” My grin only grew. Dean raised an eyebrow at me, the look clearly saying you’re not bullshitting me.

“I appreciate you bringing me home, and hanging out with James. You can be free of your duties now. I’m just going to shower and go to bed.” I stretch out into the kitchen chair. I hadn’t realized how tight my body was wound until I felt the sting in my muscles as I stretched.

“That’s a solid plan. You go ahead and do that. I’m gonna sip a beer and wait until Bobby gets here” Striding over to the fridge, he grabbed a beer from the bottom shelf before plopping down at the table across from me.

Alright, now I was starting to get pissed, “Look dude, I get that you want to help. And I appreciate it. I really do. But I have a life. I have a son that doesn’t need to get attached to random people. I have a job to do, multiple actually, and I don’t need some modern day casanova waltzing in and trying to f**k up my routine.”

“Modern day casanova?” His eyebrow quirked.

I roll my eyes, a move I am becoming quite good and familiar with, “Leave.”

Dean huffs, “No.”

“No? What the hell do you mean no?”

“I mean, no. As in I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yes, the f**k you are. Who the hell do you think you are?”

“A cop. And being a cop means I have to look after the wellbeing of my town. That includes sticking around here and making sure you don’t go postal.” Was this dude f*****g serious?

A hollow, sarcastic laugh leaves my lips, “You think I’m going to go postal? Because what? Because the man that’s already halfway out the door decided he was going to leave the house? I’ve survived much, much worse than a man who doesn’t have a ballsack. I can handle this too. And I’ll do it like I’ve done everything else. Alone. So if you could kindly go f**k yourself, that would be great.

It was Dean’s turn to laugh sarcastically, “I get that you wanna do this alone, hell, I’m the poster boy for dealing with s**t by myself. But I’m not here to coddle you. I’m just going to sit here and be a presence. So, you can quietly sift through your s**t but not have to also worry about being in a house, on the edge of town, alone. So you can take that shower in peace, or whatever, knowing that someone is sitting in your kitchen just in case.”

“I don’t…”

“You don’t need anything, you said that. But that’s what you're going to get. So go take your goddamn shower, and quit arguing with me. It’s a fight you’re not going to win.”

I huff loudly. Being the good people reader I am, I know he’s right. He’s dead set on it. And as much as I don’t like it, he’s right. Just him being here, in the house would be a comfort. It would push all my normal parent worries of a break in or a whacko coming into the house while I’m vulnerable. I could focus on the more pressing matters. Like how to tell James daddy isn’t coming home. The burn that thought brings almost causes me to lose everything I didn’t eat today right onto my kitchen table.

“Why? Why are you here? You’re not even on duty.” I cross my arms over my chest in defense, not accepting defeat, but not turning him away either.

Dean just shrugs, “I owe you. I don’t like being in debt. So, think of this as repayment.”

I hummed, drumming my fingers on the table. I could understand that. If roles were reversed, I’d do the same.

“Go shower, you reek of oil and self pity.” Dean’s smirk did nothing to appease my growing irritation with this stupid EBM.

“First of all, the smell of oil is amazing. Second of all, if we’re going to be acquaintances, Dean, you should know I don’t do well with orders.”

“What makes you think we’ll be acquaintances?”

“Well, despite my efforts, you’ve made an impression on my son. As much as I don’t enjoy bringing strangers around him for reasons like this, it’s too late for you to back out now. So help me God…”

“Alright alright, I get it. James is my new buddy. But I gotta tell you, I don’t babysit.” There’s that stupid, pretty grin of his. God, can I clench my thighs any tighter?

I chuckle, “I don’t leave my son in the care of people who don’t know the difference between their two heads and tend to think with the lower of the two.”

“Har har. I get it. You think I’m a ‘modern day casanova’ and this is all a ruse to get into your pants. Which, normally, wouldn’t be far off the mark.”

“But I’m too emotionally damaged for you?” When did this lighthearted conversation turn heavy again?

Dean’s smile fell from his lips, “No, you’ve just got s**t on your plate. Don’t need my drama added on to that.”

I nodded. I didn’t really want to talk about this anymore. It was getting awkward and too heavy and not my taste in conversation.

“Alright, I’m going. Make yourself at home.” I stuff my hands in my back pockets, turning to head for my room upstairs. Shower and sleep. I need those two vitals more than anything right now.