His hands tighten on my shoulders and he clears his throat in a bid to dislodge the intense emotions caught there. I am stupefied into silence. My head is racing around in circles unable to formulate one sentence with the mish mash of thoughts brimming through my brain. My heart aching between love at what he's saying, how deeply scarred it has made him and by sadness that he can't overcome it the way I have.
"Jake … If I can forgive you, then all of this is stupid." I blink up at him and see nothing but guilt and self-hatred looking back. This is never what I wanted for him; this is not how I want him to still feel about what he did. I need to fix this, because this is not the Jake I want, or the one I know he can be.
I lift my hand to his on my shoulder and clutch it, pulling it down,
