BRING THE CEO DOWN!

6. A PLAN FOR REVENGE

6. A PLAN FOR REVENGE

ARA

The call with Tricia made everything all the more real for me; it was very clear now that I would travel back home to New York, take my son to my best friend, go to his father, and pretend that the last four years of my life and our lives didn’t happen and that Fabian didn’t break my heart so much that I almost developed self-harm tendencies.

I was alone at home, with Liam at school and Nicola spending some time with her children and grandkids before she could take some time off to spend with us. I had just spoken to Charlie, and we had gotten to an agreement; we had an entire payment plan, and Charlie would take over renting out the houses. I still had to talk to my tenants, but I was sure I was in good hands. I also spoke to Quincy earlier, and we did conclude that I would be in New York by next week and I would move back in with Fabian, with absolutely no invitation after that. It was a very bold move that could end up with Fabian throwing me in the streets, but if he did that, it would make it all too easy for me, and then I would have to go to his place of work to get more information. I did know though that he wouldn’t throw me out; he couldn't; we were married, and I still had a very big right to live in that house.

With all of that settled, my mind was swimming with thoughts. I kept on thinking about how it would turn out—if my baby would be sad and if I would hate living with Fabian again. The thoughts roamed around in my head over and over again, and then I was thinking about the day, the day that I found myself pregnant and my husband, who I actually thought loved me, cheating on me and being so utterly shameless about it, to the point that even when I called him out for what he was doing, he shamed me; he made me feel so worthless like I had no right to even be angry at him, and just moments earlier I was filled with excitement to tell him about the baby we were to have together and the family we were to build.

Leaving Fabian’s office that day was hard; I was in a daze. The secretary that I all but bullied to let me into the office looked at me with so much pity in her eyes; she felt so terrible for me, yet there was an edge to it; it was almost like she was telling me, “I told you not to go inside, and you went anyway; this serves you right.”

I wanted to lash at her at that point, and I did. “Will you get to work? What are you staring at?” I asked harshly before leaving the office with my head held up high. Yet when I drove back to Tricia’s place, she was the only one I had to talk to, and I kept on repeating the words that Fabian said to me in my head. “You deserve worse,” I said so many times, and I tried to deny it until I couldn’t. What if I did deserve worse? Who is it to say I deserved better? How could I deserve better when I was me? Everything that I touched turned to dust.

Fabian’s words would go around in my head, again and again, and by the time I arrived at Tricia’s house, they had been ingrained in my sulci and gyri; it was what I knew to be true, and for years no one could convince me otherwise.

Tricia took one look at me that afternoon and pulled me into a hug that I didn’t know I needed until I was in it, and then I cried. Tricia held me as I cried and cried and cried. For the next few weeks, I did little other than eat, sleep, wallow in self-misery, and then cry. I would think about Fabian on the day of our wedding; I would think of the terrible words that he used against me; I would think of my father and his father and how they had both loved me so much, and I would wonder what was wrong with me—that Fabian couldn’t simply love me; then I would cry even more. Tricia would try her best to talk to me, and it would be so difficult to reach me that I would shut myself to the outside world. It wouldn’t be until my bump started growing that the evidence of life within me was getting quite unmistakeable that it was occurring to me that a child now depended on me, that I had the duty to take care of him, and I would have to get my life together because of that, and I did.

Even now, I am still grateful to Fabian for giving me William. it would have been more drastic to leave Fabian with no child; maybe I would still be stuck in that state that I was still crying that no one could reach me.

When I came to the realization that I absolutely needed to do something. I begin to think. I think about how I can move on with my life, how I can feed my baby and raise him without ever being worried about running into Fabian Lewis in a place like the mall. I actually rolled the dice to end up in Australia. So when I was seven months pregnant, I took the bold step and moved out of the country to start my own life. As far as I knew, Fabian never searched for me when I was still in the States. Tricia told me though that Fabian came around to look for me after I had gone to Australia, so maybe he did care after, but that was never my problem, at least until now. I was getting ready to re-enter the lion’s den.

*****

“What about the secretary, Pheobe? Have you heard anything about her?” I asked Tricia. It was a day before I would go back to New York. I already booked my flight; my tenants had been sorted out. I had relieved Nicola of her duties. She was set with a pension, and she could now live with her children and grandchildren. William would love her to come along, but I could not, in good faith, drag her across the world. Charlie had been settled, and I had already spoken to the few friends I made while staying here. I was ready to leave, but there were a few things I had to know. I needed to know about the secretary. Fabian had claimed to be in love with her. I badly wanted to destroy whatever form of love they seemed to have, but I also needed to know what I was up against and if I would be able to withstand it.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Ara? This isn’t right, and it will affect you as much as it affects him. I know that I might sound like the bad guy now, but I don’t want to see you sad again. I remember how much he broke you the other time, how much he hurt you. At the risk of sounding selfish, I will say it; it hurts me too; I don’t want to be hurt anymore. It hurts so much to see you hurting.” I breathed in and tried to control myself. It hurt so much to hear Tricia speak that way, it felt like someone was plunging a knife in my chest and bringing it out, and then plunging it right in again. It was excruciating pain.

Tricia sniffed and moved at the other end of the call. It sounded like she was cleaning away tears.

“Tricia I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay; I will be fine. The secretary, Pheobe, still works for him, but she is on another level right now, a manager for one of his companies. I doubt they work closely, the branch is in Italy, according to my sources. It is very unlikely that there is a relationship between them.” I huffed at that. I expected something entirely different, but this was worse; it meant that Fabian played everyone.

“I can bet that he told her he loved her and then broke her heart before transferring her to another country.”

“Well, that is quite likely.,” Tricia said. I could even hear her frown. Tricia was not Fabian’s biggest fan. She might have said he would love me on my wedding day, but she had long changed her mind about him.

“Are you ready to leave tomorrow?”

“As ready as I will ever be.”

“Liam, are you excited to see Aunt Trish?” I asked Liam who was playing with building blocks.

“Aunty Trish!” Liam shouted although it sounded more like Aunty Tweesh. Seeing how excited he was just to talk to her, I knew that they would have a great time together.

“I am going on a big plane, Aunt Tweesh, for hours and hours, and I will see Aunt Tweesh and Unca Quee.” Quincy was quite hard for the three-year-old to pronounce.

“That’s great, William the Great; I can’t wait for you to get here so I can send to tickle town.” Liam giggled like Tricia was already there tickling him.

“Will you get me candy too?” Liam asked with a little smile on his face.

“As much candy as your mom allows.”

“Can I have candy, Momma?” Liam asked me with the sweetest smile on his face. How could I even say no to that face?

“Let’s get to New York first; we will negotiate about the candy later.” Liam pouted a little, but he seemed satisfied by that.

“Okay, Momma. I go pay with my toys now.” Liam was gone with that. I chuckled at my son and then I focused on Tricia.

“I should leave you both to rest; you have a very long flight tomorrow; I cannot wait to see you in New York,” I groaned as I remembered the flight. When I agreed that I would come back for revenge, it didn’t really occur to me that I would face a 21-hour flight with a toddler. William wasn’t too much of a handful; he only tried all these crazy things that toddlers did a few times. Now though, he was a lot mature, as mature as a three-year-old could be, but 21 hours on air would unsettle anyone, including me.

“Just pray for me, Tricia, that I manage to survive this." Tricia chuckled at that.

“I will pray for you and my godson.”

Later that night, as I settled to sleep, I prayed a little myself, although I wasn’t sure it was a prayer that God would answer that prayer. I prayed that my plan of revenge would come through. I prayed for success for such a malicious act but didn’t feel bad for it. My excuse was that it was from a place of pain. I hoped it was enough.