Mackenzie

Chapter 13

Bambi and I walked down the hallway the next day.

"How has living alone been?" Bambi asked me.

I shrugged,"Things are okay... For now. And that's because mom left some things in the house before she left."

Bambi looked at me, "You'd be okay. Bambi's telling you that."

I smiled,"Thanks."

"I gotta go to class now, what about you?"

"Why do you have to go to class early?" I groaned.

"I've told you before, Kenzi that I like to get my texts ready."

I rolled my eyes,"Right... I'd see you during lunch, then," I raised Ryan's jacket in the air,"I gotta give Ryan his jacket."

"Alright, then.. I'd see you during lunch," Bambi smiled, then walked away. I must say her smile brightened up my day most of the time.

I held Ryan's jacket in my hand and walked to his locker. The first thing I did when I got home yesterday was wash the jacket, then left it to dry. I then cleaned up and climbed on my bed, burying my head in my pillow and crying unshed tears due to the pain that could kill sometimes.

"Ryan, your ja..." I called as i almost got to him, but my voice trailed off as I saw Ryan talking to a girl. That girl. I recognised her as part of the group of girls he was looking at in the cafeteria. Maybe that was the girl he was looking at? Ryan looked serious, in fact, they both looked so serious and I wondered what they we're talking about. Could they be dating? I shook my head. No. Ryan would tell Bambi and I. As a matter of fact, the moment be started crushing on her, he'd have told us.

Or, was this part of the things that had changed?

I watched him as he lifted his hand to her shoulder. When he did, she bit her lip and looked at him.

I walked away, angry. It wasn't that I didn't want Ryan to be with any girl, but... But, if he was, he'd pay less attention to Bambi and I. We'd no longer go to each others houses because Ryan would be at the girl's house. We'd no longer have those talks because Ryan would be talking to her. He'd no longer listen to us because he'd be listening to her.

Forget it. It was stupid. I was only being jealous. Just as I got to my locker, the bell rang. I threw Ryan's jacket into my locker, grabbed my books and walked to class.

Thankfully, when I got in, Tanner wasn't on his seat. I didn't really know how to face him with what happened yesterday. Wait. Did I just say face him? I chuckled a bit. Hell, we didn't even talk to each other.

Ryan walked into the class as soon as Mrs Martinez came in. As he walked to his seat, he tried making eye contact with me, but I was sure to look away.

....................

Ryan tried to talk to me in class, but I simply ignored him. I was meant to thank Tanner for yesterday, but the appreciation won't even come out. Actually, I wasn't just ready for any rude response.

"Starr, please, may I have your attention?" I heard Mrs Martinez say.

I sighed and looked forward. She must really be worried about me these days. This just had to stop happening.

Soon, I saw a folded piece of paper land on my desk. Tanner's eyes fell on the paper too and I took it off the table as I opened it.

What's wrong?

Ryan. I knew his handwriting. I turned to look at him and he looked back, a worried look on his face.

"Starr?" I heard Mrs Martinez call again.

I looked forward. She must really think I do have problems, and through the side of my eye, I saw Tanner look at me.

..................

During lunch, I ate only a sandwich because I couldn't risk taking anything too sweet.

"Kenzi, are you okay?" Ryan looked at me.

"Yes, I am.. or" I emphasised on the 'or', "Do you have any reason why I shouldn't?"

"Uh.." He looked at Bambi, then looked at me, "I just thought...",his voice trailed off.

"I'm fine, thanks," I snapped as I took another bite of my sandwich, and just in time, I caught Bambi mouth to Ryan. "She's on her period."

"This has nothing to do with me being on my period, Bambi." I looked at her and she shrugged then looked back at Ryan.

"Excuse me," Ryan said as he got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria

I watched him leave and Bambi scolded, "What the hell is wrong with you, Kenzi?"

"As you said, I'm on my period."

"So..." She looked confused, "I don't even get you!"

"Can we go on with our lunch?" I said and she shrugged as she said,

"You really should apologize to Ryan."

I shrugged this time.

As we continued with lunch, Bambi seemed to be the only one talking. Now, she was laughing to her own joke and all I could do was shake my head. Just then, her laughter trailed off and she fell silent. I looked at her and saw her eyes follow somebody. I followed her gaze, but the only person I could see was a guy in a black T-shirt on black jeans.

Jesse.

"Bambi?" I called

"Were you looking at Jesse?"

"No... Yes," she sighed

"Can I say something?"

"What?"

"I think you have a crush on Jesse, but you don't know it."

"What?" Her eyes widened as she asked again.

I nodded, "Yep. I mean, I've always thought so since you told me about him the day I got back from Spain."

"I- I don't know," she sighed, "He-he's a bad boy."

..............

Whether Bambi liked it or not, she did like Jesse. It was after school already and I was about to pick up my bag, but I felt the need to use the restroom. After what happened in the cafeteria with Ryan, I hadn't seen him again. We didn't have a class after lunch and even if I was angry with him, I couldn't help but wonder where he was. I couldn't lie, I missed him. I figured I could simply ask him what was going on between him and the girl. I'd just expected him to tell me, but if he wasn't going to say, I'd ask him.

I was about to take a turn to finally head for the bathroom, but I stopped abruptly as I heard,

"You can't just say you're sorry, Edward!" That was Lenore's voice.

Edward sighed as he said, "I really am sorry-"

I stopped myself. What I was doing wasn't right. I certainly had no business in whatever was happening between them. That's right. It was their business, I was about to continue my journey to the restroom, but then I heard,

"What the fuck... You... You amaze me, Edward. I swear you do. I mean, you give her rides home-"

Give her rides home? I silently hoped it wasn't me. I really didn't want to be the reason the couple were arguing.

"It was just once, Lenore."

Yep. It was me. Of course, who was I kidding? I was the only one Edward came to meet to ask if he could take me home.

"And I don't give a f**k, Edward!.. she's got her friends for that. You're not her chauffeur."

What on earth had I done to Lenore?

"I know, and trust me, girl. Of course, those rides don't mean anything to me. It's just that... What are you worried about, Lenore?"

I heard her sigh.

"Look, babe, I've told you before, I'm yours. I can't want a girl like-"

I swear that I didn't know when tears fell from my eyes, but I violently wiped it off and walked away as fast as I could.

He can't want a girl like me? Of course, he couldn't! I was the one who had that huge crush on him. He never thought of me that way and he never would. He seemed so genuine whenever he came to ask if I needed a ride. Did he do it out of pity? Maybe he still saw me as the girl who's parents got separated and couldn't do anything about it. The girl who lived in what isn't even worthy to be called a house. But too bad. That building was my house. I never thought Lenore would feel threatened in some way. I mean, I was just a girl who was wondering how to live life alone.

Edward was a jerk. Just like his best friend. I didn't know what Bambi would do about her crush on Jesse, but it was how she felt and there was nothing she could do about it.

I bumped into someone's solid chest and just as I was about to apologize and walk away, a hand held my eyes. I blinked my blurry eyes and looked up at him.

Ryan.

I buried my head into his chest, "I'm so sorry, Ryan.. I'm so sorry about lunch time. I.. I-"

"Calm down, Kenzi," he said as he wrapped his arms around me, "What happened?"

"Do you feel pity for me, Ry? Do you?"

"No, I don't. Why?" He looked at me, confused

I went ahead to tell him what I just heard.

"Oh, s**t," Ryan said

"Yes. It's shit.. and to think he was trying to think it was like old times," I let out a bitter laugh as I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry about lunch, Ryan. I really am."

"Tell me. Did I do anything to make you mad? Did I upset you?"

This wasn't the right time to ask him about it. So I shook my head, "No... Bambi was right. Just my period."

"Oh.. I'm sorry," he said.

"It's okay." I shrugged, smiling.

"So, are you ready to go? I'd take you."

"No, I'm-"

"Not Edward. I'm not Edward. I'm Ryan.. your best friend. Let's go." He said as he pulled me to follow him.

...................

I appeared on Tanner's doorstep in the evening, and Tanner got the door as usual. And I really started to wonder where his parents were. He was always home alone.. it was no wonder why he could have a girl with him.

I sat and Tanner got out his textbook..

"Wait," I closed my eyes and opened it as I looked at him. He was looking right back and I felt like melting. How on earth could I resist looking at his beautiful face? His eyes alone were too captivating. And looking at him like this, I felt like a tiny, disappearing person being blinded by his face alone.

I took a deep breath, "Uh.. I just wanted to thank you.. for.. yesterday."

"Why did you run off?" He stared intently at me and again, I was feeling so small.

"Well, I didn't run off.. I walked briskly," I said dumbly

He rolled his eyes and he didn't need to say anything before I said, "I.. I, uh. I needed to find a jacket"

He raised an eyebrow as if to say, But I was going to give you mine. Thankfully though, he didn't say anything.

"Anyway, thanks," I said, but he didn't say anything, so I said, "Uh, let's start with today's lesson."

.........................

The pain came and went, but the more I talked, the pain stayed. All of a sudden, I didn't want to talk anymore. I felt nauseous and terrible.

"Why did you come?" I heard Tanner ask

"I had to. I didn't come yesterday," I snapped

"Hey, calm your t**s, okay? I didn't mean for you to get angry. I was only asking because​, clearly, you're not feeling well and you're uncomfortable," he looked at me

Aside from the calming of t**s part, why didn't I see more this side of Tanner everyday? This side where he was so observant, concerned and caring.

I sighed as I rubbed my temples,

"Please can I go home?"

He nodded.

"Thank you," I said, but it came out in a whisper.

"C-can you make it home?" I heard Tanner ask and my eyes widened. Really, where was this side of him everyday?! He sounded so nervous... so cute, but I nodded , "Yeah.. yeah, I can."

I took my bag and walked out of the room. Again, I was almost at the door when I heard that voice call again.

"Tanner?"

I stopped. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I had to see the girl today. I could bet the girl was blonde. She'd probably have a look that matched that of Harlequin. She'd have piercings on her eyebrows too.

"Yes, girl?" I heard Tanner answer.

"Why did she leave so early today?" The girl asked.

Why did she always ask about me?

"Uh.. she wasn't feeling too well."

"Then, why didn't you keep her for a while? Why didn't you make something for her like you always do for me?" The girl asked and my eyes widened. Tanner wouldn't do that.

I couldn't hold my curiosity any more. I walked to a corner just to see this girl. My eyes widened again.

No.

I was wrong.

This girl didn't have blonde hair, in fact, her hair was a beautiful dark-brown. She didn't have piercings or anything. As a matter of fact, she didn't look anything like Harlequin.

Standing there in front of Tanner, was the cutest little girl I'd ever seen.