Mackenzie

Chapter 22

"Please... Don't.. don't act like you know me.... Don't." I covered my face as the tears pushed harder.

And he did the one thing I didn't expect him to do.

....................

He wrapped his arms around me.

And I buried my head deep in his chest, holding on to his muscled arm as I cried. I was meant to push him away. Damn, I wanted to yell at him​. Tell him to leave me alone, but, there was something about the way he held me, something about the way it felt in his arms. Something the way I felt in his arms. I felt protected. I felt... Secure, but I shouldn't be comfortable.. in fact, I was crazy. Crazy to be in his arms when I knew that in school the next day, he was going to probably tease me about crying over my money being missing.

"It's okay," he said in my ear, voice cracked and raw, "Stop crying... Please"

I sniffed and pulled away from his embrace, ignoring the feeling that came over me as soon as I stepped away from his arms. I couldn't bear to stand there another minute, I needed to leave as fast as I could. I sniffed and turned to walk away, his behaviour to me in school the next day would determine if he deserved a thanks or not. I had to go home, bawl my eyes out and finally, fall asleep again.

"Mackenzie."

I stopped dead in my tracks. Wondering what he had to say, I took a deep breath before finally turning around. I couldn't trust my voice and so I didn't say anything, I just stood there, looking at him, waiting for him to say what he had to say, but instead, I saw him taking long strides towards me. When he got to me, he looked at me for a while, and when I realized I was staring into his eyes, his beautiful eyes, may I add, I looked away immediately.

I felt his fingers brush against my cheek and that was when I figured out there were still tears rolling down my cheeks. I looked back up at his face and stared into his eyes as he wiped my tears.. his eyes held a lot of emotion, emotions I never thought I'd see.. but again, I couldn't let myself get comfortable and that was why when he opened his mouth to say something, I turned back around, and walked away.

Leaving him hurt and confused as I could read from his eyes...

..................

When I got home, I felt drained. Not only did I feel drained, I felt empty. Not bothering about dinner, I walked to my room and threw myself on the bed. I stared into space for a while, replaying everything that happened with Tanner earlier, at the end of it all, my cheeks felt hot. I was red. The thought of his arms wrapped around me brought smiles to my face, the thought of him wiping my tears away made me smile the more. I shook my head.

No, I was starting to feel like Bambi.

.....................

I woke up with a banging headache the next morning. I hadn't gone to sleep immediately, yesterday. I'd stayed up for sometime and even let a few more tears drop before finally taking a shower and bouncing on my bed. Even when my head hit the pillow, sleep eluded me.

I dragged myself up from bed, almost stumbling as soon as my feet touched the floor, but I held myself. Happy that today was Friday, at least I could sleep in as late as I wanted to the next day. I rubbed my eyes, walking into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator to grab a cold bottle of water. I opened the cupboard and fished through it, hoping to get an Aspirin. When I finally found a pack of the pill, I threw a pill into my mouth, washing it down with the cold water.

Not sure about having breakfast, I walked to my room to freshen up. I had no doubt at all that Bambi was on her way here. In fact, I could predict that she would be here as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom.

........................

"¡Hola mi mejor amigo!" Bambi smiled as she walked into my room immediately I got out of the bathroom.

{Hello, my best friend!}

I cleared my throat inwardly. May I have my award now, please? I knew Bambi way too well. Haha, I could predict her now.

"Well, I see someone has been taking Spanish lessons." I smiled, "Morning to you too, best friend."

"Yeah, of course. I asked you to teach me. I think the language is sexy.... And seductive."

I chuckled a little,"You should have heard​ dad speak Spanish to mom. I was always like I had to marry a Spanish guy."

"You know what? The next time you're going to Spain, take me along." Bambi sat on my bed.

"Oh, please. That's like taking two extra boxes."

"I didn't hear that."

I smiled and turned to the mirror.

"Are you okay?" Bambi asked and I looked at her through the mirror.

"Is it obvious something's wrong with me?"

"Well, no. It's something Ryan and I would see."

I sighed, "I didn't get enough sleep in the night. I already spent the afternoon sleeping."

"That's a lie."

"Well, it isn't completely a lie, but why do you know me so well?" I rolled my eyes and just told her what happened with Tanner, "Look, I know I shouldn't have said it, but I was so angry at the way he judged me.. especially about sleeping in class.. he didn't even know me!"

"It's okay.. at least he knows now.. about mom. And about she and dad not being together. He'll stop. I know."

"Yeah of course... Until he shouts at me in the hallway."

"I don't think he'd do that. In fact, I know he wouldn't... He isn't actually bad, y'know."

"You always say that."

"Because it's true.. the sad thing is that I'm not in your class so you wouldn't get to see when we talk."

"Yeah, because his best friend likes you." I smirked.

"What?" Bambi's cheek turned a light red.

"True, sister." I nodded and grabbed a brush as I ran it through my hair. I hadn't told Bambi about what happened with my money. I don't want to tell her. Knowing Bambi, she'd worry and find more reasons why she should give me money.

....................

Bambi made a turn into the parking space in the school's parking lot. At the same time, Bambi and I saw Ryan drive in. I waited for Bambi to do her looking-at-the-mirror-and-adjusting all-that-needs-to-be-adjusted thingy.

As we got down from the car, Ryan was also getting out from his car, but he wasn't coming out alone. Out of the passenger seat, was a girl. That girl.

"Wow. He goes to her house to pick her in the mornings." Bambi said, rolling her eyes.

"Must feel nice." I smiled.

"But, really, doesn't he think it's the right time to introduce her already?" Bambi looked over at them, Ryan was looking worriedly at her, but she smiled back at him. "You know what? If he isn't gonna introduce us, we'd go introduce ourselves. I mean, she's meant to know us, right? We're his best friends." She started walking towards them. She hadn't gone far at all when I pulled her back.

"C'mon! When he wants to... He'd do it.. if he ever wants to at all." My last words were dropped into a grumble.

Bambi huffed,"It doesn't help that she's really pretty." She said, referring to the girl beside Ryan.

"You should meet Darren's friend, Chanel. She's got cat eyes and she's very pretty."

"Just great!" Bambi threw her hands in the air, "I'm surrounded by too many pretty girls."

"Hey, I'd kill for your nose." I told Bambi.

"Well, I'd kill for your eyebrows, eyelashes and your hair."

I laughed,"I was never gonna tell you, Bambi, but I'd kill for your legs.. and of course, the way you can walk comfortably in heels."

"Really?" Her eyes widened in pleasant surprise.

"Yeah, but as usual, get over yourself."

.......................

"Don't forget. Your big test comes up next week!" Mrs Martinez said as she walked out of the class that morning. She would never tell us the day, she'd just say that it was next week. But the good thing was that it was never on Monday.

"Yes, Mrs Martinez." Everyone grumbled, packing their books to leave the class.

Tanner remained seated and a very little part of me wondered why. I hadn't looked at him throughout the class today, no matter what he did . He tried to grab my attention, though. He kept on tapping his pencil on his desk, looking for a reaction from me, but the truth was that, I didn't have it in me at that moment to tell him to stop, so as I always did, I let the noise disturb me.

"Mackenzie." I looked up to see Jesse walking towards me, smiling.

"Jesse! Hey." I smiled back at him.

"How are you today?"

"Fine, thanks." I smiled, already kind of knowing what he wanted to ask about,"Bambi, right?"

He smiled and ran a hand through his hair,"Yeah. Actually, I haven't seen her all day, I was wondering if she's okay."

I smiled. Did he really care about my best friend? This was so hard. I really wished​ he didn't have to be a player,

"Yes, Jesse. She is.. I rode with her this morning."

He seemed relieved, "Okay.. thanks." He started to walk away.

"Mackenzie?" Tanner called, but at the same time Jesse turned back and said, "Mackenie."

"Yeah?", I answered to no one in particular, not knowing who to answer of course, but then Jesse started to talk and I saw Tanner glare at him, but he didn't seem​ to notice.

"Are.. are you and Bambi hanging out after school today?"

I smiled, "No, not today."

"Right." He nodded, smiling.

"Thanks". He turned back to walk away, leaving Tanner and I alone. Jesse must have done this on purpose, usually, he'd wait for Tanner so they could leave together. I grabbed my notes from my desk and started to walk away.

"Mackenzie." Tanner called.

I turned to look at him.

"Hey." He looked nervous, "Uh, I-"

"Look, if you're talking to me because of what I said yesterday, you really shouldn't because, just like Edward, I don't want you to pity me.. I don't need it. You know what? Forget I even told you that yesterday. You pushed me to say it." I shot and walked away immediately.

.....................

"Hey, I think Jesse wants to hang out with you after school today." I told Bambi during lunch.

"What did you just say?" She stopped chewing on her fries.

"Yep. He came to me after Trig, asking if you were okay-"

"If I was okay?"

"Yeah, y'know... He hadn't seen you today. So.. yeah. And then he asked if we were hanging out after school today and I told him no."

"Why did you tell him no?!"

"Because we aren't..." I rolled my eyes, "I don't get it. You like this guy, why do you act like you don't?"

"Because I'm scared. C'mon, you know how he is. I know he wants to play with my feelings and I don't want that."

"You can't tell for sure. He seems really nervous when it comes to you. How about you just hang out with him this one time and see how it goes?" I raised my eyes to her.

She bit her lip, fear in her eyes, "I.. I.. fine."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Why does it seem like you always support Jesse?"

"I don't know... I should be scared he'd be like his best friends, but.. he just seems different. What'd kill me is if he's actually playing with you, which I'm very sure he isn't going to do.."

.....................

"Hey Darren, I didn't see you at all today." I told Darren after school.

He smiled warmly, "Was gonna say that to you too. How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks for asking."

I didn't see much of Ryan today and it bothered me. I saw him in Trig, but after then, I didn't see him again. I couldn't understand why he wasn't speaking to Bambi and I like before, could it be the effect the girl was having on him? Why wouldn't he tell Bambi and I about her?

I wondered how I'd get home. Bambi was in a class and of course Ryan was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, are you ready to go home?" I heard Darren ask.

" Yeah, but..." My voice trailed off

"But?" He raised an eyebrow and my ears grew hot. Nothing much, he just looked really cute doing that. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tanner standing by Jesse at his locker, throwing occasional glances at Darren and I.

"Nothing." I shook my head.

"I can take you home if you don't mind." He said.

"Uh... Right. I'd just get a few notes." I said, then turned to my locker. I dug through my locker while Darren stood, waiting patiently. It wasn't long before I felt another presence around me.

"Dude, what's up?" That was Tanner's voice, wasn't it? My breath caught in my throat and I didn't dare to look back.

"Hey." I heard Darren reply

"You're new here.. right?"

"You could say that. I'm Darren."

"Nice to meet you, Darren." I heard the say dryly. To save Darren from any discomfort, I looked back and shot Tanner a look.

"I came to.. take you home." Tanner said and my eyes widened. What? I immediately looked at Darren who stood, confused.

"Tanner, I-" I started to say sternly.

"C'mon, I thought we agreed?" Tanner smiled.

What the hell was he doing? I was dumfounded.

"Uh... I'd just leave." Darren started to walk away.

"Darren, no-"

He smiled, "I totally understand, Mackenzie. I'd see you Monday." And he walked away.

I turned to Tanner,"Are you crazy? He was actually gonna take me home! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I said I was gonna take you home. I am gonna take you home."

"Says who? I'm telling you, Tanner, I do not want your pity. Thanks a lot." I held my bag tighter, "I'd just walk home."

....................

"Alright... Then, you use the​ sine, into the bracket of a plus b." I explained to Tanner, "Can you try it?"

"Uh.. yeah." He nodded. It was surprising, he was quite cooperative today and I was grateful for it. I watched him as he furrowed his brows together. I had the feeling that if he was this focused from the start, I wouldn't be here. That's right, because, he'd have no cause to need a tutor. That'd have been good for both of us. He wouldn't be having lessons and I wouldn't have to be here.

"Here.", I snapped out of my thoughts and took Tanner's note. I took a look at what he'd done and looked at him.

"Did I get it right?"

"Yeah.. yeah, you did." I nodded, almost smiling. He was probably ready for the big test! "Let's do another one."

"Can we take a break, please?"

I looked at him for a while,"Right..." I leaned back in my seat and stared into space.

"Would you tell me?"

I looked at Tanner to be sure he was talking to me and he was looking right back at me. "Tell you what?" I voiced my exact thought.

"About your mom."

"What?" I choked and cleared my throat, "I think the break's over."

"It hasn't started." He informed me

"What? You've got to be kidding me!"

"You know what? Let's end the lessons here already, I got the question right-"

"Then I can as well go home. I have things to do-"

"Like what?"

"It's none of your business." I spoke calmly

"Look, today I was gonna say I was sorry.."

"That's a lie. You were gonna laugh at how pathetic my situation is."

"No, I wasn't gonna do that. Why would you even think that?"

"Because you're Tanner. Tanner McCann."

"Okay, that hurt-"

"You don't know what hurt is." I smiled painfully

"You think so?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You tell me." I spat

He ignored what I said,"I'm sorry-"

"If you're saying sorry because you want me to tell you about my mom, it's not happening."

"I'm not. f**k, Mackenzie, why don't you think I can be-"

"Because it's not in you..To me, anyway.. why do you want to know about my mom?"

"Hell, I don't even know" His voice was hoarse and he ran a hand through his hair,"Just tell me...." His eyes pleaded.

"I don't want-"

"For godsake,I do not pity you."

"So why do you want to know about my mom?" I asked, clearly confused

"I.. I.." He struggled with words.

"I don't trust you, you know, right?" I looked at him.

"Then, why don't you just try me? This one time."

I couldn't understand why he wanted to know about mom. I rolled my eyes.

"She... She," I cleared my throat,

"She's got cancer"

"What part of her body?"

"Her breasts."

"What stage?"

"Two."

"For how long?"

My eyes welled and I placed a finger under my eyes as I shrugged.

"You don't know?"

"I wasn't in America then.. it was since last year, surely."

"Your dad's in Spain," He more of said than asked,"Does he know about her?"

"No." I shook my head

"Don't you think you should tell him or something?" Why was I already getting comfortable with him? I couldn't resist. His voice was soothing.

"I... I tried." I whispered

The Tanner looking at me was entirely different from the one I was used to.

"You live alone?"

"Yeah." I nodded

"How often do you go visit her at the hospital?"

"When I can..."

"Are- are you okay living alone?" He asked in concern.

I nodded.

"I mean, like, are you able to provide stuff for yourself?"

"I... Like, uh, sure, I am." I nodded.

He looked doubtful, but he let it drop and I was grateful.

"When next are you going to the hospital?"

I shrugged,"Monday, I think..."

"Can.. Can I come?"

I looked at him sharply. He wanted to come with me to see my mom?

"What are you up to?" I asked

"Nothing. Look, if you don't want me to come, I won't. All you gotta do is say it."

"No...It's fine. I'm just wondering why you want to come."

He shrugged, almost smiling as his eyes bored deep into mine, I could feel my cheeks go red.

"Thank you." I said and he nodded in response.

"Do you wanna continue with the lesson or." He looked unsure of what to say.

"No. I- I'd just go home." I said, packing my notebook and bag. I started walking out of the room.

"Hey." I heard Tanner and I turned to look at him

"Thanks for telling me." He said, half-smiling.

I nodded and walked to the door. Again, I was about to turn the doorknob when I heard that cute, little girl say,"Did she tell you about her mom?"

"Yes, girl, she did." I could hear a smile in his voice.

"That's perfect. Hopefully now, you'd be able to catch some sleep."

My eyes widened, not really sure if I just understood what she said....