Mackenzie

Chapter 5

I sat on Ryan's seat as he stood, talking to me. Of course you know why I was on his seat. Yeah. Because if I go to my seat before Mrs Martinez comes in, I'd have received a s**t load of rude comments. So, call me a coward or anything, wait till Tanner gets you.

"So, like—" Ryan started to say.

"Settle down, class! Good morning!" Mrs Martinez said as she strolled in.

I sighed as I rolled my eyes and got up from Ryan's seat.

"I'll see you later," I said to him.

I walked up to my seat as I sat down. Tanner wasn't doing anything. He leaned back in his seat, a pencil in between his teeth.

"Starr!" Mrs Martinez looked at me.

"Yes?" I got up.

"That's a beautiful gown you have on today," she smiled at me.

I felt good, but embarrassed. She could have told me after the class or something, now people who didn't notice me at all before turned to take a look at it.

I got the gown from Spain. It was a peach above knee off-shoulder gown. I couldn't go into details because... I just couldn't. It was pretty, just know.

"Yeah! She looks hot!" I heard a guy called Derrick shout from the back and I blushed badly.

Weren't we supposed to be having a class?

"Alright... To our lesson!" Mrs Martinez said.

I sat down and looked at my note. I saw Tanner throw a quick glance at me. I took a deep breath...

'Whatever he says, you're gonna ignore. He doesn't matter.. at all.. he's about to say it.. okay... Okay.." I opened my eyes that I didn't realise I was closing.

He wasn't saying anything?

In fact, he hadn't made any nasty remark to me or about me today... Yet.

Or, was the jerk feeling bad about what he said to me the last time?

Nah. Not possible. He was too proud for that.

Again, he was here tapping his pencil on the desk.

"Smith!" Mrs Martinez called Ryan

I turned to look at him as he just got up from his seat.

"What was the last thing about identity I talked about?" She asked.

"Huh?" Ryan looked confused, scratching the back of his head.

"Why are you sleeping in my class?" She demanded.

"Uh.. I'm sorry. I was up all night studying," he answered.

"Oh. That means you stay up all night everyday."

Everyone laughed, and I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.

"Take your seat," she said to Ryan, then looked at Tanner.

"McCann!" She called.

He didn't stop tapping.

"Can you try to solve the equation on the board?" She looked at him

Tanner opened his mouth to say something, then he closed it, then said,

"You know I can't, Mrs Martinez, so why do you keep calling me?" He answered.

"I just want you to try."

"I don't know the answer. You could ask Little Miss Smartie beside me, she'd tell you," he said.

I swallowed. I honestly didn't want Mrs Martinez to call me. And what was Little Miss Smartie, by the way? I shook my head.

"Okay," Mrs Martinez said.

My heart skipped a beat but then I saw her walk to the board.

*****

I let out a little breath.

The bell rang and everyone was finding their way out of the class. I picked my bag, but,

"Starr!" Mrs Martinez called.

"Yes, ma'am?" I went to meet her.

She smiled at me, "I can see you and Tanner talked about it."

I was lost, "Talked about what?"

"The tutoring. I knew you would work a way around your busy schedule. I'm so excited."

"Mrs Martinez... I have no idea what you're talking about." I looked at her.

"Look, I know the other day you weren't sure about it, that's why you said you couldn't do it.. but I knew you could do it. Thank you so much, Mackenzie."

"Mrs Martinez, please... Can you make me understand what you're talking about?" I said.

"Tanner came to me, said he's agreed to do the lessons," she said in excitement.

My eyes widened.

"What?" I asked, "He sure didn't say he wanted me to tutor him."

"Oh yes, he did. He agreed!... I just need his grades to improve, and—"

"It can't be true, Mrs Martinez... I told you I didn't want to do this." I was horrified.

"And I also told him that.. but he said he wanted the lessons.. what could I do?"

I sighed, then my eyes widened again,"Wait, Mrs Martinez. Was that why you told me my gown was beautiful?"

"Well... See.." Her voice trailed off.

"No, Mrs Martinez, you didn't!"

"Really, your gown is beautiful. I did mean it, but you know."

That explains why she did that in front of the whole class!

She sighed,"Look, Mackenzie, just do this for me."

"Why are you so concerned about him anyway?"

"Because he's my student."

"Alright... But it's not like you're paying me or anything."

"I could pay you."

Was it that bad?

"Nah. I was just kidding," I chuckled.

"So.. are you agreeing to do this?" She looked at me.

I sighed, "Alright. I will."

"Awesome! Thank you so much, Mackenzie!" She said.

I nodded.

"And.. one more thing. Maybe alongside trigonometry, you could teach him a little manner."

"That's impossible. Trig's enough, Mrs Martinez." I laughed.

"Really. Thanks so much for agreeing to do this. I appreciate it." She said, and I nodded again and watched her leave the class.

I really hoped I wasn't going to regret this decision I just made.

*****

"What's up?" Ryan asked me as we walked to our second class.

"Hoping I didn't make a damn mistake." I answered.

"With what?"

"I just agreed to tutor Tanner."

"Really? I thought you said you weren't."

"Can you believe what the jerk did? He went to meet Mrs Martinez and told her he wanted the lesson."

"That is a lie!"

"Horrible, right?"

"No. It's amazing!" He smiled.

"What now?"

"Tanner agreed for you to tutor him? I don't know. It just sounds like good news to me."

"You're unbelievable." I shook my head.

"It may not be so bad.. it may be bad, but no so bad. At least I told you it might be bad."

I sighed, "What have I gotten myself into?"

*****

"I really gotta head home now." I told Bambi as I put my homework in my bag.

"So early? You could just wait for me.. I got practice," she said.

"Practice for what?" I asked her.

"I got a poem recitation next week. I have extra classes with others."

"Oh.. right. So, how long is this extra class gonna last?"

"Anhourandthirtyminutes," she mumbled.

"I didn't hear that!" I chuckled.

"An hour and thirty minutes," she said.

"That's a long time!"

"I know, I know," she said.

"I'd just find my way home. It's no problem. Just call me when you get home," I told her.

"Alright," she nodded.

"Bye." I slung by bag on one shoulder and walked out of the building.

"Mackenzie?!" I hadn't gone far when I heard Edward call my name.

I closed my eyes and tried walking faster. I didn't want him apologising about the day before yesterday. I also really didn't understand why he was coming to me.

I soon felt a hand on my elbow

"Mackenzie, wait."

I looked at him,"Hey Edward." I greeted, forcing a smile.

"Have you been avoiding me?" He asked.

"Me? Avoiding you? No." I told him.

' Liar. You've been avoiding him like the plague' my subconscious said.

"Are you sure?" He looked at me.

"Yeah. Why would I?" I tried taking a laugh. It came out so awkward and forced.

I knew I shouldn't have even laughed.

"Y'know.. after what happened-"

"Oh, that!" I laughed.

"Are you okay?" He looked at me.

Time to act.

I sighed wearily, "Actually.. it's just that I'm so stressed out.. I got a headache and I'm just tryna stay fine."

'That was a f*****g stupid thing to say!'

"Oh?"

"Yeah.. so, I wanna go home.. lie down."

"I could take you home," he said.

"No.. no, no."

' It's okay with the no!', subconscious screamed

"I can get home by myself.. you don't have to worry."

"Mackenzie, look, I-"

Then I saw Tanner walk out of the school building. His gaze fixed on Edward and I. I thought about going to meet him about what Mrs Martinez said. But the last time I did that, I was called a b***h. If he couldn't tell me himself, then that was it.

"Oh look, your best friend's looking for you." I said to Edward, looking past him at Tanner.

He turned around to look at Tanner and when he looked at me, I said,"So, I guess that's it. Damn, this headache​ is killing. I gotta go. I'd see you tomorrow, Edward."

And I walked away as fast as my legs could carry me.

.............

When I got home, mom was in the kitchen.

"Hey mom." I smiled at her, popping my head into the kitchen.

"How was school, baby?"

"School was fine.. what smells so good like that? I'm starved!"

Mom chuckled,"It's chicken soup. Come on, go freshen up and come back, let's eat."

I nodded,"Okay."

I went to my room and got into the bathroom. I came back out and changes into one of my home clothes. I met mom on the dining table, plates of food on it already.

"Hmm," I smiled as I got seated.

"You want some juice?" Mom asked.

"Yeah." I nodded, smiling like a three-year old.

She got up and started pouring a cold cup of juice in my glass, and then she started coughing.

"Mom?" I looked at her as I got up and went to her.

She turned breathless as she coughed, and then I noticed blood dropping on the table. I looked at her as she wiped it off and looked at me.

"Mom, that was blood," I told her, confused.

She breathed heavily as she held her chest.

"Mom!" I cried as I led her to the couch. She sat and I went to the kitchen to grab a tissue and a glass of water.

I wiped her mouth with tears in my eyes. Something was wrong with her. When I saw her breathing was back to normal, I asked, "Mom, what is wrong?"

"MZ-"

"Tell me mom, please.. just tell me. You're not okay,mom, I know. What is wrong?"

She was quiet.

"Mom-"

"I have been diagnosed with cancer," she said.

The empty cup from my hand fell.

What?

"I-I don't u-understand, mom. I don't."

She swallowed,"I'm in stage two.. breast cancer."

"No!" I cried,"That's not true! Stop it, mom!"

"MZ.. that's the truth. I have cancer. Breast cancer."

The tears came in full force.

"Since when?" I asked.

"I was diagnosed late last year."

"Mom, you didn't tell me!"

"I-I'm sorry.. I didn't know how to."

The pieces started coming together.

The lean figure of mom. The fatigue.

"It can be treated, can't it? Yes it can." I said.

"Yes it can, baby."

"Alright, then, let's get treatment," I said.

"It's not that easy, MZ."

"It's not that easy?"

"Surgery.. the lumpectomy, radiation therapy.. and chemotherapy. It's not that easy.. baby, it's expensive."

"How much will it cost?" I asked.

"$159,442.. if I'm meant to have a good surgery.. in India."

"That's a lot of money." I ran a hand through my hair,"But we can have family members help, right?"

"I don't know, baby.. not your​ dad, though."

Fuck. He was what I meant by family members.

"Okay, but mom.. you can't stay home.. you just can't. You need the hospital."

"I know," she wiped my tears,"Don't cry."

"How do you expect me not to? You're the only one I have here!"

She smiled at me," MZ..." She pulled me into a hug and I cried and cried as she stroked my back.

Now I felt like telling her every single thing going on in my life. I felt like telling her the things I've always held back. I wished I'd entered the mother and daughter baking contest with her when I was 10. I wished I'd taken more than the one hundred and twenty six pictures I had with her. I wished I'd cuddled with her when she asked me to when I was 13. I thought I was too big for it, but now, I wanted to stay in her arms while he held me. I just wanted to do everything with her.