Mackenzie

Chapter 24

"Kenzi, if it's about Brooke, there's nothing I can do about it."

**********

What?

"Wh- who's Brooke?" I asked him, very confused.

"She's the one you and Bambi have been seeing me with." I was surprised and angry at his calm and unhurried voice.

"When were you gonna tell us?!", I flared up," In fact, for how long, huh? How long have you been seeing that girl-"

"She's not just any girl, Kenzi."

"Of course she's not." I let out a pained laugh,"You're probably banging her-"

"No, Kenzi! Brooke is not like that." How the hell could he be so calm about this?

"Really? But she's the w***e-"

"Brooke is not a w***e!" He shouted in anger

"Right. I forgot. Your mom-" I stopped myself immediately. What the hell was wrong with me? I looked at Ryan who looked surprised,"Ryan.. Ryan. I- I'm-"

"No, it's okay. You're right, anyway."

"No, no... I didn't mean-"

"Of course you didn't." His voice was stiff, and his eyes held a lot of hurt and anger as he walked away.

"Ryan." I called after him, but he kept on walking.

********

I got home with burning eyes. How could I have said that? How could I have been so angry to the extent of saying that? It was terrible! Ryan's mom wasn't the best of mom's, but she was still his mom, and it was only foolish of me to have said that.

I bounced on my bed and let a few tears escape my eyes, and minutes later, I was crying unshed tears, tired.

*********

"Shit." I mumbled to myself when I woke up later, checking my watch. I had to be at Tanner's in the next few minutes. I got up from the bed, memories of what happened with Ryan coming back and making me feel down again. I pushed it aside with very little effort and took off my school clothes. I put on a simple T-shirt on jeans. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and grabbed my bag as I walked out of the house.

*********

I appeared at Tanner's doorstep just in time and rang the doorbell, waiting patiently for Tanner to get the door. I frowned two minutes after ringing the doorbell occasionally. I reached for the doorbell to ring again, when the door opened and Tanner growled,

"What the f**k!"

I gasped.

His face softened, "I- I didn't know it w- was you." He cleared his throat as he stepped aside from the door,

"Come in."

I couldn't help but wonder if he was okay. He was breathing hard and his eyes were red. I shyly walked in as he closed the door and then walked behind me.

********

As I talked, I couldn't feel Tanner paying attention. He hadn't said a word, he didn't nod or do anything that'd make me know if he understood what I was saying.

I cleared my throat,"Uh, Tanner.. I need to know if you understand what I've been saying." I said, but he didn't say or do anything.

"Are.. are you okay?" I asked, knowing fully well that he wasn't, but he didn't say anything, still. I sighed as I looked at him,"What's wro-"

"For godsake, Mackenzie, mind your damn business!" He snapped.

It was going to take a long time adjusting to this weird behaviour of his. I breathed, "I should go. Clearly, you're not in the mood for the lesson, but we're even, because I'm also not.. just know that you're not the only one who's had a bad day." I said, voice soft and measured.

I picked up my bag and watched as his face softened, but, still, he didn't say anything.

And with that, I left his house.

********

I leaned into the couch in the living room, cradling the telephone up to my ear and waiting for mom to pick up the phone. I wanted to tell her everything that was going on, especially with Ryan and how I was about to make such a terrible remark about​ his mom. Mom wouldn't be happy with me, so I decided to push that away.

"Hello." This wasn't mom's voice.

"Hi, I'm Mackenzie Starr, please, can I talk to my mom?" I asked.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but your mom's asleep at the moment.. maybe you could try again later?"

"Okay. Thank you." I whispered.

I never thought this would ever happen, that I'd have to speak with a nurse all because I wanted to talk to my mom. I was so used to seeing her around. She was always here, at home, waiting for me to come back from school so she could force me to tell her everything happening in my life.

I sighed.

To be honest, life could be a b***h.

********

"Oh my..." Bambi's voice trailed off after I told her about what happened with Ryan the day before.

"I feel so horrible. He wouldn't even want to listen to me!" I threw my hands in the air, opening my locker.

"Look, he will. All we have to do is go together to him. You should be able to apologize. I'd go with you."

I sighed,"Her name's Brooke."

"Who?" Bambi asked, looking at me, then closing her locker with her books in her hand.

"The girl. The one we see with Ryan."

"Oh. He didn't tell you who she was, yeah?"

"No. I'd already ruined everything by that time." I said and the bell rang.

"We'd talk during English, okay? I gotta head to class now"

"Right." I nodded, grabbed my books too and headed to class.

*******

I looked to the back at Ryan, but he wasn't in his seat. I bit my lip, wondering if it was because of me, he wouldn't come to school, but I thought of it. Ryan wouldn't do that.

The class was very quiet today. Mrs Martinez seemed to be the only one having fun, as she just laughed to her own joke. Everyone simply stared back at her, and she was uncomfortable so she covered the laughter up with a cough and got back to teaching.

It was minutes later, Ryan strolled into the class, carrying a straight face and not making eye contact with anybody.

"Ryan!" Mrs Martinez called, but he kept on walking to his seat,"Ryan Smith, I'm talking to you!"

I looked at Ryan as he got to his seat and sat down, looking at Mrs Martinez with red eyes. Mrs Martinez sighed, rolling her eyes. It wasn't that she didn't have control over us, she was just too soft. She'd once told me she had four kids. Two were in college and she knew exactly how teenagers worked. I knew her well enough for her to understand that something was wrong with Ryan and there was a high possibility that she'd call him after class to ask what was wrong. She was a good teacher. That's what I knew.

I turned to look at my book, and just then, my tummy decided to growl. s**t. I clutched it immediately, praying no one heard the disturbing noise. I knew one thing for sure. If nobody heard the noise, Tanner did, and it was confirmed by the weird, concerned look he shot me.

*******

"You okay?" Bambi asked me as she sat beside me during English.

"Yeah.. I am." I sighed, but Bambi saw through me as she said,"Look, if it's still about Ryan, I promise we'd go meet him right after English."

That wasn't what was wrong. Okay, it was part of it all, but it was just that I had a lot on my mind. I wasn't happy about anything at all.. all I felt was sadness. I felt almost... Depressed. How my life has turned to this shocked me. I tried to take a deep breath, but then realised my nose was getting blocked.

No. No... No!

It wasn't getting blocked. It was an attack coming. My chest was tight. Very tight.

I... Want..To.. Breathe...

"Always try not to get worked up over anything. Avoid getting extremely frightened, anxious, angry or depressed... High level of stress...",the doctor's words rang in my head until I was struggling to breathe.

" Kenzi! I heard Bambi cry, looking frightened as she shook my shoulder. I was trying. Trying to tell her my inhaler was in my bag, but nothing was coming out of my mouth.

I heard the class go wild while I still struggled to breathe. I saw people surround me, some telling me to try breathing. Didn't they know, though, that what they were doing was causing me to feel faint the more?

"How smart are you guys? You're telling her to breathe when you're surrounding her, how do you think that'd happen? Now, step aside." I heard a loud voice boom. I don't think anyone moved because he growled this time, "I said, step aside!"

Suddenly, I felt strong arms around me and I felt carried up and moving fast. I was moving fast. He was running. Trying with no effort at all to breathe, I tried opening my eyes and when I did, a very silly grin crept up my face before closing my eyes.

Tanner.

*********

My hands moved. My legs moved.

It took a long time to process I was laying on the sick bay's bed.

"She's up!" I heard Bambi say and I turned to face the other side and saw Tanner standing, while Bambi stood over me, smiling a little, worry in her eyes.

"Oh, Kenzi.. what happened this time? I didn't wear too much perfume, did I?"

I shook my head, "No, I just.." I sighed,"I wanna go home." I said, wondering how I'd slept through school.

Bambi looked up at Tanner, "About that.. uh, Tanner, could you please take her home. I've got a class and it's really important."

I looked at Bambi to object, but to be honest, I didn't have the strength to. I just closed my eyes.

"Sure." I heard Tanner say.

The ride was a quiet one, Tanner's eyes was focused on the road, and my head was rested on the window, eyes closed. Yes. I was too busy gawking at his face like an i***t, so I had to close my eyes.

"Um, am I at the right place? This was the address Bambi gave to me." Tanner said and I opened my eyes, looking to my left.

"Yeah.. Thanks." I nodded as I carried my bag and was about to open the door.

"Mackenzie?"

I stopped, then looked at him.

"W- would you be okay?"

I nodded again,"I would." I opened the door and my foot touched the ground.

"Wait" I heard him call again, and this time, I looked tiredly at him.

He looked nervous as he cleared his throat, "I... I saved you lunch," he reached over to the back seat and got a brown paper bag, "Just, uh.. sandwiches and a fruit juice."

My spirits soared. He got me lunch? I looked at him, surprised. He looked as nervous as hell. Could it be because he heard my tummy growl? I blushed at the thought. Embarrassed or not, it was sweet that he'd caught that I was hungry.

"Th- thank you." I smiled lightly and he nodded.

I got down from the car and walked to the front door, when I saw him drive away, I turned to look at the car I'd rode in, I tried to look in school, but my vision was blurred then.

It was his blue Hyundai car. Not the G-wagon.

*******

It was time to take a walk. Time to head to my spot and think a little. It was evening and the weather was a little chilly, but it was perfect. I felt refreshed after I'd taken a shower and finally eaten the sandwiches and drank the fruit juice. I got into the cute, short gown dad had gotten for me last year for my birthday. I slipped into fancy slippers and walked out of the door.

*******

As I approached the spot, I could only pray I didn't meet Tanner. Usually, when I met him at the spot, my night never turned out well. Seeing no car parked car anywhere, I walked to my rock and sat down.

I wanted to think, but I burst into tears and my body shook furiously. Life was way too unfair to me.. this wasn't anything like poetic justice. I wasn't a bad person, was I? If my life was written like those texts Bambi read in Literature, I was meant to be a happy person. I couldn't control my tears and it fell and fell on the pretty flowers around the rock. Poor things. I knew water did help them bloom, I just wasn't sure of salty water.

"Hey."

I knew that voice anytime. Anyday. It was Ryan. He walked to the rock and sat beside me.

"Ryan!", I flung my arms around him as I buried my head in his chest and cried, while he held me tight. "I'm so.. so sorry, Ry. I r- really am. I was angry, but that didn't give me the right to have said that... I- I didn't mean it-"

"Shh. It's okay.. it is. Stop crying."

"How can you tell me to? My life's a mess, Ryan! And how could I have even said that to you? You've always been there for me. Always. You've been there during my worst and best times.. you've been there to wipe my tears away. I was horrible to have said that to you. Oh, Ryan." I sobbed.

"C'mon, Kenzi.. I said it's okay. Stop crying, please.." He rubbed my back with his hand in circles, then he said quietly," I was unfair. Really unfair. I stopped hanging out with you and Bambi, and I became all too busy. It was like I'd forgotten about you and Bambi, even when I actually didn't. I won't ever leave you or Bambi... I was just overwhelmed with what was happening in my life at that time..." He sighed,"Brooke made me see that."

"Who is Brooke to you?"

"Brooke's my sister."

I held my sobs and looked up sharply at him.

"What?"