Mackenzie

Chapter 20

"What the hell, Kenzi! Let's go... You could get the note another day," Bambi said for what seemed like the fifth time in one minute.

"Just hold the f**k on, okay? I'm so close to getting the note!" I said, digging through my locker, searching for my Calculus note.

"What? I'm sure you don't actually need the damn note.. Kenzi Starr, let's go," Bambi said.

"What's up?" I heard a voice ask.

"It's Kenzi here, we've got to head somewhere and here she is, searching for a stupid note I'm a hundred and one percent sure she doesn't and wouldn't need," Bambi said and I heard the person chuckle.

I turned, grinning widely and lifting my Calculus note in the air, "Found it!"

"Yaay, party time!" Bambi rolled her eyes.

I chuckled and looked up to see the person in front of her.

"Hey Darren!" I smiled.

"Mackenzie," he smiled. I really should get used to his voice.

"I'm sorry, Bambi." I nudged her and looked at Darren, "Uh... We have to go visit my mom, so I'd probably see you later," I said

"Oh that's no. problem," he shook his head,"I'd see you guys later."

.................

Bambi and I walked down the hallway, our bags both slung on one shoulder, and just as I turned to ask Bambi where she might think Ryan was, I saw her cheeks practically on fire. I immediately looked around to check for the one person that could possibly do this to her, and I saw him. Yes, I did. But this time, he wasn't alone. While three of them were meant to be having a deep conversation, Jesse's gaze was fixed on Bambi, therefore, leaving Tanner and Edward to talk.

"There are other things to do than blush, Bambi. You do that all the freaking time... Aren't you just tired of it?" I said.

"What exactly am I meant to do, Kenzi? I mean, am I meant to walk up to him and go like,'Hey hot ass, I like you.. let's get married and make hot babies'?"

I laughed at the seriousness in the tone of what Bambi just said. My laughter became louder when I realized, that all of a sudden, her cheeks were back to its normal colour and ​she looked so damn serious.

"Kenzi," Bambi called.

Still laughing,I turned to look at Bambi, who looked back at me with a f*****g straight face,"What?" I asked.

"Stop laughing. Nothing's funny," I noticed she said that through her teeth

"Why? You're crazy, Bambi."

"No, you are. That's why everyone's stopped doing what they're doing and has turned to look at you."

My eyes widened as I immediately stopped laughing and looked around,

"What the fuck....." Everyone was looking at me! Even though, I had so many stares, the most stares were from the three guys standing by Jesse's locker... I wanted to disappear when I noticed Tanner's eyes on me.

I cleared my throat, tucking my hair behind my ear, and said to Bambi,

"Let's get the f**k out of here."

Bambi nodded and I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding when we got out to the parking lot.

"That was insane," I said, referring to what just happened in the hallway.

"Yep. And be lucky. Next time, I'm gonna leave your side and tell everyone I don't know you."

I feigned a gasp, "No, you wouldn't!"

"Try it tomorrow," Bambi laughed and we made our way to her car.

I stood by the passenger's side of the car and looked at Bambi who held her keys in her hand, but wasn't unlocking the car.

"Hello? Bambi... We're here." I said.

"Just take a look at him!" Bambi said with rage.

"Who?" I looked around.

"Ryan!... I can see that he's so busy."

I looked to the spot where Ryan loved to park his car, and indeed, I saw him, leaning on the car door, a girl in front of him. That girl.

I heard Bambi huff as she walked away from the car.

"Where are you going?" I asked her, confused.

"To interrupt whatever the f**k they're doing!"

"Bambi, no... No, don't do that. Let's go."

She looked at me in disbelief, "Really, Kenzi? Because again, he said he was busy after school. Is he freaking kidding me? Is that who he's busy with? Like, what the hell, sister!"

"I can't believe Ryan," I muttered, shaking my head.

"So let me go meet him! He is being unfair. He knows exactly how you feel about your mom and how it would mean a lot to you if he came with us..."

"Let's go, Bambi. At least, you're here with me," I said

Bambi sighed,"I swear that I'm only letting this go because you asked for it."

"I know and I really appreciate it."

"Right. Let's go." She finally unlocked the car.

The drive to the hospital on the way was quiet and I could tell Bambi was still fuming about Ryan and his mystery girl.

"Bambi, Bambi.. Ah, Bam, Bambi.." I sang to make her smile

"I still wonder why that guy had to use my name," he rolled her eyes, smiling.

"It's not really you, get over yourself." I laughed.

"Whatever."

" I know you're still thinking 'bout Ryan and all that s**t," I said.

"It's hard not to think about," she bit her lip.

"Well, put your mind on other things..."

"Like?"

"How awesome I am."

"Sheesh. Now it's your turn to get over yourself," Bambi chuckled and I laughed. "So.. you told Darren about mom?"

"Yes," I sighed,"I couldn't help it.. I'd called dad, wanting to tell him about mom, and he said he was busy.. I ended up crying, because... I don't know, I guess I was just angry at dad.. well, Darren saw me and he asked me what happened.. you were in class and of course, Ryan wasn't there, I wanted to let it out, so I told him." I explained.

"It's okay.. I mean, Darren seems like a really nice guy." Bambi said, making a turn into the hospital

"He is," I sighed

"I'm still very suspicious about Tanner, though.." Bambi squinted her eyes.

..................

"Yes, please. We're here to see Callie Starr," I said to the receptionist.

"Okay," she smiled as she typed something into her computer.

"Do we have to wait or something?" I asked.

"No, you don't. Ward 26," she said.

I swallowed,"Right. Thanks."

"That wasn't her room before, was it?" Bambi whispered to me as we walked to the ward.

"That's true.. do you think the receptionist made a mistake with the ward room number?"

"Let's just go check first. She looked pretty serious," Bambi said.

" Okay.." As we walked to the ward, Bambi and I were quiet. We passed different wards and as we moved closer to ward 26, my heart beat fast. Why it was beating so fast, I didn't know, but when we got to the door, I let Bambi enter first as I took a deep breath and entered.

Bambi was already seated by her side and I walked to her side. I gasped. Mom looked sick. Like, sick.

"Mom," I called.

" Yes, baby," she struggled to voice her words out, but they came out in a whisper. "I... I've​ missed you... A lot, MZ."

"I've missed you too,mom."

Seeing mom like this reminded me I wasn't trying hard enough to raise money for her.

"Where's Ryan?" Mom asked, looking from me to Bambi.

"Uh..." I looked at Bambi.

" He's busy," Bambi said.

"Is... Is he okay?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, sure.. he is," I nodded.

She sighed. "How has school been for you two?"

"Oh, school's been good," Bambi nodded.

I couldn't talk. Couldn't move. I hated seeing mom like this. Hated that she looked so sick. A part of me felt dead... Especially without her. I let Bambi do all the talking almost through out, because I couldn't trust my voice. Neither could I trust my eyes which were starting to burn...

.....................

"Is.... MZ okay?" Mom looked at Bambi.

"Do you wanna talk to her alone?" Bambi held her hand.

"Yes..." She nodded.

"Alright," Bambi squeeze her shoulder and got up from her seat. She looked at me and mouthed that she would be outside the ward. I nodded, swallowing, then took the seat beside mom's bed.

"MZ... What... Is wrong?" Mom asked.

I swallowed again, shaking my head as I asked instead,"How are you, mom?"

"To be.... Honest with you, MZ... I feel pain everywhere... Every single part of my body... Aches.."

I blinked hard. I couldn't cry. Not here. "Mom... I know, I haven't been trying hard enough to get some money, but I promise you, I will get a job very soon-"

"Why.... Why do you want to get a job?" She asked.

"So I can get some money..."

"It's... It's gonna take a very long time to get the amount of money.. for my treatment."

"So what do I do?" I asked.

"Let it.... Let it be."

My eyes widened, "I don't understand, mom."

"Take... Take a look at me, baby.. you can't compare how I looked the last time you came here... To how I look now. That's right, honey... It grows worse every day... The cancer cells are spreading... Faster than you think. Faster than I think. My hair.. my hair's gonna start... Start falling off very, very soon. MZ.. there's no time.."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me die-"

"Mom," I called sternly.

"No, MZ... what's the whole point? I mean, it's getting really late for treatment... Besides, I... I really think there's no need to spend a huge amount of money just on treatment... There are better things to do with the money, I'd be peaceful, not sick, when I die..."

"Mom, I don't like what you're saying. You're not thinking about what would happen to me if you die-"

"My love...You'd be with your dad-"

"Well, I don't wanna be with him! I want to be with you. You, mom.. so you're gonna do something for me. You're not gonna give up. You're not gonna die, because I'd do everything I can to make sure you get treated."

She smiled lightly, "You're... Strong, you know that, baby girl?"

I just watched as her eyes slowly closed and she said, "I feel sleepy."

I watched as her eyes finally closed. I closed my eyes, stopping the tears from falling.

"She's asleep," I looked back to see Doctor Colt smiling slightly at me.

"She... She'd wake up.. right?"

"Of course she will."

I nodded, "C-could you take better care of her? I'd pay an extra amount."

"No, don't worry about paying.. I'd do everything I can."

......................

Bambi and I got back into the car in silence. Bambi sighed as she put on the steering. I let out a heavy, shaky breath.

"Kenzi," Bambi called.

I turned to look at her watery eyes,

"Oh, Bambi!" I threw my arms around her as all the tears I'd been holding, rushed out. I couldn't control it and I was shaking. Furiously. Bambi couldn't stop me because she was also crying. Hard.

We just held onto each other tightly, letting our tears flow uncontrollably.

..................

"I'd call you later," Bambi looked at me as she pulled up to the front of my house. After crying our eyes out, we realised it was getting a little late, so we were forced to stop crying.

"Okay..." I nodded.

"Take care of yourself," she told me, flinging her arms around me and giving me a tight hug.

"Bye," I said after the hug, opening the door and getting out.

I watched her drive off and I turned to walk into the house, when I caught the time on my wrist watch. It was almost four! I had to make it to Tanner's today. Apart from having our test soon, I decided to give it a shot since he did apologize to me.

I got into the house, walking briskly to my room to grab my sling bag and small note. Hungry, I decided to have some Apple Jacks. I had a serving, threw the plate in the sink and left the house.

....................

My eyes burned as I looked down at the note I brought along. Tanner hadn't said anything that made me regret my coming and I was really grateful for that.

"It's just like you're proving an identity, but it's a little different," I explained to him, "Do you understand?"

He nodded, taking his note, trying to solve the equation I'd told him to solve.

While I waited for him to finish working it out, my mind raced, thinking about everything mom had said and soon, I let out a shaky breath. I didn't know tears had fully welled up in my eyes, until I saw a tear drop on my note with a sound. Just as I realised what just happened, Tanner sharply looked up at me.

"Mackenzie?" I heard him call and without looking up, I asked,"Are you done with it?"

"Look at me," he said.

I rolled my eyes and tried to take his note without looking at him, but before I touched the note, he grabbed my hand.

"Let go of my hand, please," I said.

"I will. Just look at me."

I sighed as I looked at him, tucking my hair behind my ear. And true to his word, he released my hand.

"Why are you crying?" If I was meeting Tanner for the first time at that moment, I'd have fallen, face flat, in love with him. First, his voice carried a lot of concern. Then, his eyes bored into mine and back to his voice, it was hot.

"I'm not crying."

"C'mon...What's wrong?"

My eyes welled up again, "I don't get you. Why are you being nice? Why are you acting like it seems so important to you... For all I know, you're gonna use it against me.. might be in the hallway."

It was entirely different when hurt flashed in a person's eye, but for Tanner, the hurt expression he had on his face stayed. "Is that what you think?" He asked.

I sniffed, shrugging," It's what I know." And then, he didn't say anything, he looked at me for a while and when he was about to return to his work, I sighed and said, "Right. I'm sorry. I just....." My voice trailed off, "I wanna go home."

...................

I bounced on my bed after my dinner of Apple Jacks and a bath. I just realised the cereals I had bought were the only things​ available in the house now. Well, except my toasts which would be finished soon, as I did a great job at consuming a lot of bread. I was going to grab some things from the store tomorrow.

My mind went back to Tanner. He'd simply said okay when I told him I wanted to come home, though I felt his gaze burn at my back as I left the room.. I honestly didn't get him. That's right, he always had me confused. He did seem like he wanted to know what was wrong, but I just couldn't tell him. Because I was scared.

And so with all the stress from today, my eyes started to close slowly, slowly.. and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

Bambi had been right. I didn't need the damn Calculus note.