What Lurks Beneath

Chapter 12

Kaida POV 

    We reach the cabin and it’s just like I remember it from my childhood. It’s a simple stone and wood cabin with a steep roof for the heavy snow season.  It was a little worse for wear but that was just part of its charm. The small cabin fit in perfectly with its wooded surrounding and the mountains directly behind it. I ran over to the small river that passed just beside the lodge, and briskly dipped my hands into its frigid waters, enjoying the electrifying feeling it gave. This was straight glacier water, melted from the mountains. There was nothing quite as invigorating as dipping into it, despite its freezing temperature. Satisfied, I walk back toward the lodge and make my way in. Brone is waiting for me inside, leaning up against the stairwell, arms crossed.  

    “Some things never change” 

    I tilt my head quizzically at him, not sure what he’s referring to 

    “You and that river. I never understood it. It’s too cold for comfort if you ask me” 

    I shake my head at him, of course he didn’t. 

    “It reminds me that I'm alive” 

    He looks even more confused, and I don’t bother to elaborate. He would never understand. All his life he’s had it good. Maybe he was weighed down by heavy expectations and responsibility but he had a loving father and mother. He never had to wonder if this was the day. The day they finally decided to get rid of him. He would never be able to understand how it felt to feel insignificant and unwanted. He never felt so numb and dead inside that he could question whether or not he was in fact still alive. He never lived in the dark. His life has been, and always will be in the light.  

    Ignoring his questioning look, I move past him and make my way upstairs to the bedroom. There were sheets on the bed, dusty and grungy sheets, but sheets nonetheless. I internally shrug, it’s a major upgrade to how I have been living and how I had planned on living so I'm not really concerned about it. I feel a presence creep up behind me and tense slightly when he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me in closer to him. I fight my natural instinct to jerk away from him, reminding myself that we’re trying to work on the mate bond. 

    “I will bring you some fresh linen tomorrow and whatever else you may need” he kisses the top of my head and hugs me tighter. 

    “Don’t worry about it. Your father might notice, besides, I had planed on sleeping in some random cave or strapped to a tree branch. This is much better” 

    He lets out a low growl displeased with my answer and I turn on my heels coming face to face with him. I bring a finger to his lips, shushing him and he instantly quiets down, his gaze softening as he takes me in. He leans in to kiss me and I fail to instinctively recoil from his approach. Hurt and annoyance flicker across his face but he’s quick to hide it. I know it’s not right to react this way. It’s not fair to him to be mated to someone who doesn’t feel the same pull but there’s nothing I can do about it at this point. I begin to apologize when he puts his hand up. 

    “Save it” he storms out, obviously frustrated, and heads back in the direction of the pack house.  

    Don’t concern yourself with his childish antics. If he is to lead a pack, he needs to learn not all things come to him right off the bat 

    She’s not wrong. Not every negotiation he's going to have with other packs is going to go the way he wants. He’s an Alpha but not the only Alpha and then there’s a whole council he will have to bow down too as well. If he can’t handle a small rejection like this, how will he handle harder situations.  

    He is just a pup. He has much growing to do still 

   I don't know if I would exactly call Brone a pup

    Perhaps not in age, but he hasn’t matured nowhere near enough. He’s not ready for his title. 

    I exhale apprehensively. She’s not wrong again and that worries me. His father is definitely pushing him to take the title soon and if he doesn’t mature fast, the pack is going to be the one to suffer. He can’t afford to be an immature brat with Kane breathing down his neck. No matter how much I may dislike the pack for what they did to me, no one deserves what hell he would rain down on them.  

    With that disturbing thought weighing down on me, I decide to try and distract myself. First thing I tried was to clean, but that proved fruitless. There were absolutely no cleaning supplies in this old abandoned cabin. Cooking was out of the option for the exact same reason. No supplies. I sit and try to just enjoy the tranquility of solitude, but my mind is too full of thoughts, problems, emotions to even begin relaxing. Thirsty, I walk to the sink and test if the water is running. Not only is there water but surprisingly, it’s also heated. With that discovery I decide to try and soak myself in the shower. Hoping to dissipate some of the tension and stress. 

     I go to remove my clothes when I realize I'm still just clad in a make shift toga. Heat rises to my face realizing I had dealt with Claudia and Alpha Darius in nothing but a blanket. Brone had just let me prance about so scantily clad, not once thinking to suggest I change into some real clothes. The jerk.  

    I step into the Steaming shower and sit on the floor head lowered. Allowing the water to fall on my scalp and back. The pressure gently messaging my body while I lose myself in thought. I’m in the shower for a good thirty minutes before I start feeling a sharp burning sensation in my gut. I go to lower the heat, thinking I had somehow nudged the handle too far when I realize it’s not being caused by the water.  

    Realization hits that this is the same feeling from last time. Prepared this time for what is to come, I rush out of the shower and curl myself into the bed, readying myself for the debilitating pain. The burning grows in intensity with every passing minute, causing my body to writhe in pain. Not needing to hold back the screams this time, I let out a blood curdling shriek. The torture lasts all into the night and begins to let up in the early morning.  

    I lie in bed, just staring up at the ceiling feeling lifeless and drained. Like my soul has been ripped from my body and torn to shreds. I lie there, for who knows how long, before my body goes into auto pilot. I slowly stand, numb and broken, body feeling damaged beyond repair. Not bothering to cover up, I head down the stair and out the door. The snow had fallen last night and my feet whine in protest when I step onto the freshly fallen snow, but I pay them no heed, heading straight for the river. It’s calling me, begging me to enter its cold embrace, and I would do anything to feel alive right now. I step one foot in and instantly feel the cold burning jolt but it’s not enough. Slowly, I bring my other foot into the water. The further in I walk the harder it gets to breath. I start inhaling and exhaling slowly, just concentrating on the sound of my breath, the sound calming my mind and bringing my thoughts away from all the pain. I’m standing in the water, waist deep when a hard hand yanks me out of the water, angry eyes staring down at me.  

    “What the hell do you think you were doing!?” Brone is glowering at me, agitated and worried as he hauls me back into the cabin.  

    He places me at the foot of the fireplace and covers me with a warm blanket then steps outside. When he comes back inside, he has a few logs in his arms. He throws them into the hearth and lights a fire, then lays next to me pulling me tight into his arms. He begins rhythmically and rapidly rubbing my arms, warming me up. We remain like this in utter silence for a while before he decides to break it. 

    “Do you care to explain yourself?” His tone is still agitated, but he’s trying to make it sound calmed and concerned.  

    I stare blankly at the fire, watching it lick at the inner walls of it's prison, quietly listening to the wood crackle under its heat. Silently wondering if that was what was happening to my body. Was it being burned up by something? Being eaten, devoured and destroyed until nothing but ash would remain? I lose myself in thought for a moment, hypnotized by the flames, when Brone nudges me, demanding an answer.  

    I glance to the side and up, finding his pitch black eyes staring down at me. Concern etched all over his face. I inhale deeply, before turning back to face the fire and answering him 

    “I was trying to feel alive” 

    Crack 

    A log splits in the fire, the only sound that would be heard emerging from that cold cabin for the remainder of the day, while the two of us just laid there, taking in what had just happened. Both at a loss for further words.