Louisseena

Chapter 3

Nana

Four years have passed since the time I met my mate. In those four years, I kept myself at home, everyday waiting for his call. He used to call me daily then it was once every few days, to once a week and now we barely even text. I could hardly reach him most of the time these days. 

I still remember the time I was in the honeymoon period. Feeling blessed by the goddess with a mate. I thought my life would change. I was more than ready to move across the globe to be with him. I don’t care one bit about this pack. If you ask me to leave, sure, I’ll drop everything and just go. My heart was so pulled by the mate bond that I missed all the signs. I simply brush them away and believe him all the time. I rejected a lot of job offers and even stopped looking for a job because I thought that I might have to move away any time.

He told me that he was very busy with his life, his pack duties. He was an upcoming gamma in his pack. He explained that he was always exhausted by the end of the day thus not talking much during our calls. With each passing day, I tell myself he would come for me one day. We are mates after all.

He promised to come and take me when his position is confirmed. However, a few times he told me his application got rejected, or something of some sorts had happened, delaying his placement. I always consoled him time after time and reassure him that I love him no matter what position he is in his pack. I said that I should be there with him to help, he agreed and said he will book me an airplane ticket soon. When I followed up on his offer, he said he was too busy to book it. I couldn’t do it either as I had stopped working and didn’t have any money left. 

I was too afraid to probe even more knowing he would flare up at me saying I don’t trust him. Mostly waiting a week to ask him again and he will come up with another reason on why he hasn’t done it yet. After that, sometimes I couldn’t reach him again for days.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I felt like I couldn’t breathe even though I know I am inhaling in and out. What’s happening? Am I having a heart attack? Wait, werewolves don’t get heart attacks. We’re mostly always in the pink of health. I clenched my chest trying to pull my skin for space and when it didn’t help, I started hitting it. After what felt like an eternity, the sharp pain subsided and I felt an emptiness in my heart.

I immediately knew what had happened. The bond, our bond was broken. I sob uncontrollably and scream silently. Why? Why did this happen? Was it because I’m not good enough? On every video call, though we didn’t talk much because I felt shy and didn’t know what to really talk about, but I felt the bond strengthening.

The calls are usually initiated by him. He would ask me to show him my body, my naked body and I complied. I followed all his lustful instructions that included touching myself and coming for him, moaning his name out loud. All that he wanted from me and I’m still not someone he wants. 

I tried my best to be understanding when he said he is tired. Even though I very much wanted to spend more time with him, I had to tearily chase him away to get him to sleep. Or maybe this was what he had wanted all along? To use me and then when he’s done coming, just say he is tired honey and wants to go to bed. Maybe he always then knew I would say I would be fine for him to go to bed even though by the mate bond he knew I wouldn’t.

He should know he was hurting me and damn sure it will hurt him. In the end he still chose it to be this way.