Addiction

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

His phone buzzed on the nightstand as he cracked an eye. Three a.m. He should have known she'd call tonight. The anniversary was next month and she always got a little crazy around now. With a soft groan, he sat up in the bed and reached for the offending article, which was lit up like a Christmas tree. “Hey,” he croaked.

“I'm sorry. I just...I had to call, you know?”

“I know.”

For a few heartbeats they were both silent, lost in their own thoughts, and then Sophie sniffled into the mouthpiece. “I miss her so much.”

“Shh, now. Soph, it's okay. I promise everything will be okay. You believe me, don't you?” He hoped like hell that she did believe him – there was no way he could keep it together if she lost her s**t. Sometimes he felt like he was only strong because she needed him to be. Though he hadn't been close with his father, he'd still loved the man in his own way, and his pain – though silent – was always lurking around the edges of his mind.

“I believe you,” she whispered, sniffing again. “Thanks for picking up.”

“Where's the Champagne Chimp?”

Sophie laughed, her voice like gravel when she told him Taylor was asleep. Damn guy was always asleep when she needed someone to talk to. Or, he wondered, did she always need someone to talk to when Taylor was asleep? He shook his head – too late, or early maybe, for these kinds of deep thoughts. “Why do you never wake his ass up?” he joked. After all, he was pretty sure Taylor knew what she was going through. The dude had lost his own mom a couple years later.

“I don't know,” she replied, sounding genuinely confused. “I just... I feel like you get me, you know? You understand me on a level no one else ever has. And besides,” she laughed to shatter the tension of that last statement. “You're my brother, it's your job.”

“True story,” he sighed. “I'm the one you call when you can't think who else to call, right?” He scrubbed a hand across his eyes. Three oh five. He'd been in bed exactly an hour, had only just sunk into dreams when the buzzing of his phone had woken him.

“It's not like that, Logan. You're the only one I think of, you know that.” He closed his eyes, imagining she meant far more than she'd said.

“I know, Soph. I don't mind, really. I just wish you'd talk to him. Bottling all of this up is not healthy, you know that right?”

She sighed, the sound crackling in his ear. The room was dark and soft as he lay back down, the edges of everything disappearing in the gloom. “I know. But, I'm greedy with my grief. You know that.”

Their conversations always went thus. He would tell her what she knew, and she would tell him what he knew, and neither of them would address the obvious. Why, after so many years, she still called him in the middle of the night, when her boyfriend couldn't overhear. “I've decided to come visit for your birthday.”

“You have?” She didn't sound excited, and he tried to take it in the spirit it was given. She wasn't looking forward to her birthday, at all. She never did. Celebrating birthdays was not on her agenda, as it meant she'd always be celebrating the death of her mother.

“I have. I thought we could hit the track, you know? Gamble away some of that inheritance I refuse to spend. And then maybe stay in a five star hotel and order everything on the room service menu, followed by a trip to the zoo where we'll try to outbid each other on a tiger that's not even for sale.”

She laughed, and his mood lightened. When there was laughter to chase away the sadness, he'd done his job. “Sounds fun.”

“Excellent. Now, tell me what you're wearing.”

She snorted – very ladylike, indeed – and then sniggered. “You always ask me, and I always tell you...”

“Chanel,” they both said at the same time.

When there was silence for a moment, he listened to her breathing – it was long and deep and he began to wonder if she'd drifted off. “You there?” he asked in a whisper.

“Yes,” she whispered back. Her voice was calm. The rising panic had obviously receded.

“You should go to sleep,” he told her, yawning so widely his jaw cracked.

“And I should let you go back to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you. Again.” The phone crackled again as she sighed.

“Soph, you know you can wake me any night you want. All you have to do is dial and I'm here for you.” It sucked living so far away, but the house had gone to rot the entire time he'd been in college. When he'd come down to sell the place, he found that it was like obliterating his father from his life, and in the end he'd decided to stay. His work was here. His home was here. He had good memories here. But Sophie was there, and she needed him. He decided he really would take the time to visit her this year – it had been two years since he'd laid eyes on her.

“Thanks, Logan. I needed to hear that tonight. G'night.”

“G'night, Sophie.” He waited until the line went dead and then turned over, his mind filled with thoughts of her. Sophie upset and the only one, even after all this time, who got through to her was him. Sophie smiling now as she replaced the headset on her land-line. Sophie climbing the stairs to get into bed and sleep lighter. Sophie climbing into bed... with the Champagne Chimp. He grunted, pulling the covers around him roughly.

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