Addiction

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As soon as I get into the apartment, I move straight to the bathroom.

I can’t believe what happened with Garrett.

Pig.

I still can’t believe I let that happen.

I knew he was an arrogant jerk, a playboy with no respect for women. I had heard all of the rumors but I still allowed myself to fall for it.

I had gotten caught up in the moment and I hated myself for it.

I always prided myself on never sleeping with a customer but now that was all shot to hell.

After I rip off all my clothes in anger, I turn the shower on super-hot.

Why? Why did I let that happen to me?

Why did my body betray me like that?

Why?

My fist gently knocks against the wall as the tears keep coming. The seduction of his power was too strong. His smell, his strong hands, and his commanding way... it was all too much.

Crashing into my bed after almost burning my skin in the shower, I silently sob into my pillow.

Why would I let it happen?

*

I WAKE UP THE NEXT morning at almost noon and smell something cooking in the kitchen. I pull on a pair my robe and walk toward the intoxicating smell.

I see Rose, fully dressed, making French toast. She looks over at me and smiles one of her famous smiles.

“Looks like you had a rough night. Glad I decided to get up and cook some brunch,” she says.

I sigh. “You have no idea. Last night was one of the longest nights I had ever had in my life.”

“Did you meet your goal?”

“I made fifteen-hundred after James got his cut.”

“So why the long face? Still don’t like doing it? I told you, it’ll eventually grow on you but you don’t plan on doing it forever anyway, so you don’t have to deal with the assholes forever.”

“Nope, I don’t. I’m supposed to be doing something to do with English literature, not doing something strange for a piece of change, you know? Clapping my ass to get some cash. I’m just saying I really wanted to be doing more by now. It’s just that things have a way of not going how I want them to go.”

“Well, technically, you’re not doing anything all that strange. You’re just dancing to get on your feet. Not like you’re sleeping with the customers.”

I roll my eyes and look down at the floor. Rose stares at me for a while before her eyes get wide.

“You didn’t! Who was it? Who got you to break the code we had in place for one another? He had to be someone good if you went against it.”

I take a deep breath and look up at her. “It was Garrett. My stepbrother.”

“What?”

I nod.

“He was at the club?”

I nod again.

“Oh no,” Rose embraces in a wide hug and the tears start again.

“I didn’t mean to,” I blurt out.

“I thought you didn’t like him? But I’ve see him in all those magazines, I probably would’ve given him some myself, the man is gorgeous but, I mean, isn’t that kind of weird? Your Mom is married to his Dad!”

I roll my eyes at her.

“I just... I don’t know, I got caught up and now I’m beating myself up over it. I mean, he treated me like some piece of ass. We had sex... passionate sex... and then he just placed money on the table and left as if he does this all the time. Now that I think about it, he probably does it all the time. With all the money he has, he probably buys countless amount of women.”

“Wow! I would be pretty mad, too. That’s pretty bad.”

“He didn’t say anything. Just put the money down and left.”

“Oh...”

“I’m angrier at myself though. I know better. I knew I shouldn’t have done it but I did anyway. I let my hormones get the best of me and now I’m beating myself into next week about it.”

“We’re all entitled to make mistakes, Marie. No one is perfect. I make mistakes all the time and I know I will make even more. The point is that we learn from them and move on. That’s it. You can’t change what’s already happened but you can try not to let it happen again if you don’t want it to.”

“But I have to deal with this mistake! He’s my stepbrother!”

“Yeah... what are you going to do about that?”

“I don’t know! Holidays, anniversary parties, and any other thing our parents want to drag us along for, are going to be so awkward. I’m probably not even going to be able to look him in his face. And you know my Mom is like part bloodhound, she’s probably going to scope out that’s something wrong and I have no idea what I’m going to say to her.”

“You could always just avoid him. Your parents’ parties are always so big that you could just sneak out. You do it all the time anyway. You’re just getting yourself worked up over nothing. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just take him in a corner, slap him, and get over it. Simple, right?”

“I guess you’re right. Not about the slapping thing because someone would see and then tell on us. And I really don’t want to have to explain why I felt the need to slap him.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. After all, like I said, we all make mistakes and do things we aren’t proud of and if someone tells you different, they are lying. And I can imagine that conversation. Yeah, I slapped him because he had s*x with me and paid me like I was some two bit hooker and didn’t even say thanks or nothing at all.”

I look at her and laugh.

“I guess you’re right but I’m definitely going to start putting in some more applications to get a regular job. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with being a stripper. It’s just starting to be not worth it anymore.”

“You’re a top money maker, I don’t know why you’re in a rush. If you didn’t have so many bills, you could live comfortably. And you’ll struggle to find an entrance job that pays as well as you get now.”

“I just don’t feel as comfortable in my skin as you all do. My breasts are smaller than most of yours and I have just enough ass to make it clap. It’s not like I’m like those chicks in the pornos, and I’m not even close to Ariel’s ass. That girl has ass and titties for days! I’m jealous. And most of those girls can do wonders on the pole.”

“You are wonderful. You’re beautiful and sexy. That’s why you earn so much. That’s why the guys like you. You are the sexy girl next door. The girl they really want. Why do you think you get the most lap dances? Because you provide a fantasy that the rest of us can’t provide. Plus, you look all innocent and the rest of us look like we really do something strange for a piece of change.”

“Well, either way, I just want a job where I can go in and not have to take off my clothes for money. It’s not for me. Not saying that anything’s wrong with it, though. I just wish I really could find a job in my field.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “The life isn’t for everybody. I know I’m not leaving it anytime soon. We make people happy, Marie. Those men are dealing with stress in their lives and they get to escape when they are with us. We make them happier. We can change lives by doing what we do.”

“You have a great outlook on what we do,” I smile.

“You know that I also plan on starting my own strip club one day so this will be a permanent lifestyle for me. The money is a little too good for me to give up.”

“You’re right about that - the lifestyle part. How far away do you think you are from starting your own club?”

“I think I’m about a good two years off from starting my own club. I can’t wait either, I already have it pictured in my head. But do you want some French toast? I made enough for the both of us.”

“Yeah, sure, I could use a pick me up. Is it stuffed?”

“Is there any other way to eat it?”

“Not unless you’re a weirdo.”

We look at each other and laugh.

It is good to have a friend like Rose, especially when I am feeling down.

She can always make me feel better about myself, no matter what was going on. She is the big sister I never had and I really appreciated it.

She places the French toast on the plate and grabs the syrup out of the refrigerator. I pour it all over my toast and take a bite.

“Oh, my goodness, this is so good!”

“I know! My skills are getting up there.”

“You’re learning to do a little something,” I say as I laugh.

As I reach into the fridge for the orange juice, something occurs to me.

“No!” I exclaim.

“What’s wrong?”

“The anniversary party is next month!”

“Well, you better get your slapping hand ready.”

“No! This is not good.”

“I thought you weren’t going anyway? I thought you didn’t like all that sort of snobbery?”

“Mom made me promise to go. And I’ve missed the last three parties she has held.”

Mom and her new husband’s one-year anniversary is next month and there is no way I can get out of it.

Soon, I am going to be forced to be in a room with that pig, Garrett and he has the upper hand on me.

“I have to find a way to avoid him for the entire party or I am sure I am going to ruin my Mom’s anniversary party with a very loud outburst.”

*