The Arrangement

Chapter 7

Things have gotten better for me, more relaxed. We’re getting used to each other.

Michael enjoys my cooking but he complains often that he has to work out more now that he is living with me. It feels good to be appreciated. I usually only cook for Harry and Sarah so it’s nice to cook for someone else.

I don’t know if it’s just me but the s****l tension is growing between us, on the few occasions that he has touched me, it has sent electricity coursing through my entire body, maybe it’s being in such close quarters. I’m confused. I don’t want to get myself hurt. I’m a light sleeper, the moment Michael moves in bed I’m awake, a couple of times he has turned in his sleep and put his arm around me. I doubt he realizes he is doing it. I’m always up before he is. We’ve been doing this for almost six weeks. Kelly has since gone on her next trip after visiting. I’m going to miss her as I always do. She told me that she can see Michael likes me but I’m not so sure.

I come home from work to find the house empty, I’m later than usual, Sonny had me sign a bunch of paperwork and I have a pre-nub that Michael needs to sign. I wanted to laugh when Sonny handed me the pre-nub. Strangely divorce has been on my mind for a couple of days. How long after the money has paid out will we get a divorce? What is the appropriate amount of time to wait?

Michael should be home. I shrug and get started on dinner as usual I’m starving despite the fact that I had a snack two hours ago. I put a plate for Michael in the oven then stretch out on the couch, flipping through the channels until I find something to watch.

When I check the time I see it’s past ten, I’m starting to get a little worried, he usually lets me know if he’s going to be late.

I decide to call him, the first two times he doesn’t answer. I don’t want to worry Harry or Sarah so I try again. He is barely audible when he answers, “Hi.”

“Michael, are you okay?” I can’t hide the worry in my voice.

“Yeah, just having a few beers.” He slurs.

“Do you need me to come and get you?” I ask. I don’t want him to drive drunk.

“Nah. I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay. Be safe.” I reply and hang up. I scold myself. It’s not like I’m his actual fiance and what he does shouldn’t concern me. I head off to bed.

A noise wakes me, my heart is nearly jumping out of my chest, Michael is not in bed next to me, and the clock tells me its 4 am.

I hear his voice and relax. Relieved that it’s not a burglar. I lie back down. He stumbles through the house making more noise than humanly possible; I can make out exactly where in the house he is.

He enters the bedroom and walks straight into the bed, he curses and I switch on the bedside lamp, he looks wrecked.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake up.” He slurs.

“Are you okay?”

He nearly loses his balance. I throw the covers off of me and jump out the bed. I take him by his shoulders and steer him towards the end of the bed, “Sit down.”

“Do you always sleep like that?” He asks wide eyed.

“Like what?” I ask looking down at myself realizing what he is referring to. I’m embarrassed; I can’t believe that I forgot I was only in my tank top and panties.

“Sorry but I can’t sleep comfortably in anything else.” I mutter my apology; my only salvation is that he probably won’t remember this.

“Don’t be sorry.” He says, putting his hands on my hips and then pulls me closer. I’ve dreamt of him touching me but not like this.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“I want you. I’ve always wanted you.” He says his eyes burning with drunken desire.

“No. Not like this.” I reply, surprised and shocked by his words.

“Come on.” He whispers, sliding his hands around to my butt and squeezes.

“Stop it! You’re drunk!” I shout and push away from him. How can he think that this is how I want it to happen?

Some realization falls over him and he immediately says, “s**t! Jenn, I’m so sorry. I’m all screwed up.” He mutters and buries his face in his hands.

My anger subsides slightly when I notice there is something wrong, I sit down next to him at the edge of the bed, “What happened?”

“I screwed up big time.”

“Tell me.” I urge, hoping the horror I feel doesn’t emanate in my voice. Did he drive? Did something happen?

“I’ve been talking to Lilly for a couple of weeks and everything was going great, we arranged to meet but then she told me that I was never good enough for her and could never treat her the way he does.”

“Did you…?” I start to ask but I can’t bring myself to say it. Why do I feel like I’ve been cheated on? The thing between us is just a business arrangement. I’m a fool for thinking it could have been more.

“No, we didn’t even meet.” He replies to my partially asked question shaking his head. He is not looking at me.

“Oh.” It’s the only word I can manage to form out loud.

“I’m really sorry. She’s messing with my head.” He says and looks up, he looks mortified. I feel sorry for him. I put my arm around his shoulder, “Hey, it’s fine, it’s not like we’re together-together.” I lean my head against his shoulder while stroking his upper arm with my other hand, hoping to provide some sort of comfort.

“I made a mistake.” He says leaning his head against mine.

“You were together for a long time, you can’t just move on overnight.”

“Please forgive me.” He begs.

“There’s nothing to forgive.” I reassure him. I have no right to feel upset about this.

He doesn’t say anything. I can’t sit here the whole time half naked with him so close to me, I stand up, “Why don’t you go and take a shower then I’ll make us some coffee.”

“Okay.” He agrees, he tries to pull his shirt off but his arms fumble around, it’s slightly amusing, but I give in and step in front of him. I pull his shirt off and toss it on the floor. Damn, he is in really good shape, “Stand up.” I order, trying hard not to focus on his body. Let’s face it, this man is gorgeous and if he wanted me sober I’d let him have me.

He does as he is told but his balance is terrible. He nearly falls over a couple of times. The shower is not going to happen not unless I get in with him and that wouldn’t be a good thing for either of us.

“Hold on to me.” I say but he just shakes his head.

“Do it!” I yell harshly, more harshly than I meant to.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He mumbles.

“So help me Michael, if you don’t do what I say I’ll let you fall on the floor right now.”

He grins and puts his hands on my shoulder, damn, I’m really angry at him.

“I’ll make this up to you. I promise.” He says as I struggle to get his belt off without letting him fall over.

“Did you drive?” I ask to distract myself.

“Took a cab.” He replies a little relief washes over me. I finally manage to take his belt off. A small part of me wants to jump up and down with joy.

“Okay. All done. You need to sleep now, you can shower later.”

I lead him to his side of the bed and pull the covers away, he flops down and I bend to take his shoes off; when I’m done I swing his legs onto the bed and cover him. He’s passed out in a second. I sigh and get back into bed. I switch the light off but I’m unable to fall asleep. That woman still has so much power over him. Mixed emotions flood through me, jealously, anger and sadness. I need to figure out why exactly I am jealous. I know ‘we’ are just for show. Everything we do in public is just for show. I glance over at the clock, it’s ten to six. I get up and take a shower. After I get dressed I check on Michael, he is still fast asleep. I hope he has a horrible hangover as I pick up his shirt and throw it in the basket.

I wander into the kitchen for only coffee. I’ve completely lost my appetite.

I might as well head into work early I decide; I grab my bag and phone. Crap. It’s Saturday. No work for me today. I feel a bit lost in my own house, but I grab my car keys and head out the door. I need to think and get myself together. Michael doesn’t want me in that way and I have to accept that. He was drunk and sad this morning when he suggested it.