Abused and secrets

Rap and suffering

I got home that day crying my eyes out asking god why is all this happening to me I called Mary telling her what happened Mary said that b**** she's going to teach her a lesson that she's not going to let this go for treating her friend like that I told her I don't want any trouble that she should just leave it alone that all of them taught am the one dating him not her, so she calm down as we were talking my mum came inside asking why was I crying I said I was having my period and it was paining me badly Mary said she was just there trying to comfort me that I told her about it she looked at me suspiciously and told me to stop moving around that I should get back to work I did just that immediately weeks everything start to come back to normal am back to my old self again so she started flirting around again  she took me to Christopher's place again so I said to Christopher if you will only be following me to church that's all I need you to do we could just be friends he said he agreed to it, so on Wednesday evening by 6 I went to Christopher's apartment and I asked his mum about his where about  she said he's at his room I went to his room and knocked at the door he came outside and said wow you are here already I haven't gotten ready yet so please come in he said I went in he immediately locked the door and I heard they locked door outside too I was like why are you locking the door we're about to leave for church now so why are you locking it and  I was getting uncomfortable he said he just want to talk to me a little before we go to church I said we could talk about it while going to church he said no that he wants to tell me he loves me and he wants to have me before I knew it he started kissing me forcefully, let me go I said I don't want this let me go please I said to him,he pushed me to the bed pulling my panties I was busy shouting he turn on the music player as he was at it I ran to the door try to open it I successfully opened the inner lock but outside was locked with key I was shouting knocking the door no one could hear me he  forcefully drag me down the bed again and with his hands  holding my two hands I saw his d**k as strong as a rock as the head started going into my v****a I close my eyes before I knew it I got the most excruciating pain ever it went straight in so f****** painful I cried my eyes out he pounded and pounded f*****g the life out of me mercilessly kissing me rough and morning before I knew it I found myself morning to he's rough f*** in and out I became wet it was forceful rough painful and pleasurable the same time at last he found his release saw him smiling immediately I want to the door I found it open and ran out with blood stain all over my clothes I run to the house with everybody wondering what happened luckily my mum traveled to work and went inside went down to shower washed down all the dirt that I felt I cried out my eyes asking God for forgiveness what will I say who will understand what happened  what was I thinking god this is horrible Victoria being dissociative name came to me asking me what happened I said nothing that I just got my period and it is paining me badly he said okay to lie down and rest so the following day my mum came back from work and she took the other kids out telling them that they will be traveling soon that they should get ready to travel by tomorrow  they will be staying with her sisters I was like what's going on before knew it everyone traveled leaving just me and her so she said to me I'm traveling and I'll be coming back as soon as I can take this #500 naria to take care of yourself while am gone i said thank you mum safe trip I started living alone not just alone in a*****e room because she locked her doors saying that before she will come back i might open the door for robbers to steal the things inside her apartment and left me in the care of the landlady who by the way is worse than her so I started staying in the store which I called my room with the landlady treating me like a slave anytime I go to the church if I don't come back by 6pm or before 6pm she will  lock me outside till the next morning saying she don't want rubbers to get into the house because of me and sometimes I will go throughout the week without eating nothing but fruits I found by the roadside or the bush this was going on for about 2 months no money to eat anytime my dad comes he just give me #2000 naira to cook for the month and by the way a whole month I have to go to school I have to feed myself with just 2000sometimes there's not even #2000 naira to manage for the month and I later learnt that my mum traveled out of the country to see one of my elder sister with her husband so applied goes on I met a guy his name was David he was caring loving then I was in love with him we started dating now that's boy was in a gang group like really bad group of guys so I basically tell him all my problems and sometimes he gives me money to keep up and he was the only source of Joy to me then so one day he took me to his room and told me he wanted to make love to me man I was so horrified that what happened that first time was a really bad experience for me I don't want to go through such anymore he said he's going to be gentle we may said okay let's try it he kissed me and I gave him opening my mouth he put his tongue inside finding dominance over me I allowed it was so sweet I could not imagine making love to someone will be so sweet like that he then went down to my sweet area and played with my opening hours f****** way god I love every bit of it he smells so nice and I kissed him and he touch my breasts start nipping  my n*****s it was heaven then he lay me down gently and went down to my legs open my fault is that lick my c******s mercilessly I screamed my eyes out in pleasure before I knew it I went down to his hard membrane I started stroking it that licking and sucking mercilessly he screamed having pleasure before I knew it he pushed me to the bed and went inside without even considering is that a f****** we had I was so much loving it I was f******wet god this was goodis when all for us finally we took our breath that was the first time I experienced being f***** with love so I thought and this went on for several weeks a month after he just dumped me without any reason not picking my calls not talking to me no care nothing I was like he used to be calling, talking, chatting me I was saying this to Victoria so she said I should calm down that his going to come around I was so worried so one evening I went to his house  and I asked him why he said he has a girlfriend that he loves the girl so much then said that he don't want to break her heart and cheat with me again I was like you never told me you had a girlfriend and you told me you loved me so what changed I said then he replied saying yes he loves me but he loves her more I could not believe what I was hearing ah ! God it hurts more than hell I cannot forgive him I left I started having many affairs with so many guys  as revenge while  using protection cuz I didn't want to get any diseases it was so heartbroken the only person I trust that ever showed me love betrayed me like that now it's 4 months I noticed I haven't seen my period. Since that fateful day I went to the hospital and did a pregnancy test the doctor said I was exactly 4 months pregnant this killed my spirit I went to him and told him I'm pregnant he said I should abort it I told him I was very scared that I could die I don't want to he just left me in my pool of tears now I don't know what to do and in the next one month my dad will be coming to visit me as he normally does what will I tell him and I think I left the house already noticed that I am pregnant cuz she called me that same money and asked me and said she's going to tell my dad if he comes so we go for test because she's noticed the changes what is beating very fast how will I go about this I don't even have a car show me haven't ate in days wow this is crazy so I took a pic of it I took a phone call my dad said that I'm sorry I am pregnant he just said bring the guy who did it I was so down and feeling bad I disappointed myself and disappointed my dad I had a friend his name is Davis I went to his house I told you what's going on he said he would like to talk to the boy I said David wouldn't like to talk to anyone he said I should just call him so he made the phone call and told David that he wants to see him and David told him he will love to see me first before seeing him he gave his location at our school playground that he will meet us there so we went by 7 p.m. and when getting there he said he just want to speak to me alone I was puzzled nevertheless I followed him inside the school compound he asked how was I feeling I said I was okay that my dad wants to see him he said ok, as we were busy talking a guy came towards  us  and greeted us he called David aside and they discussed David said the guy wants to talk to me I said I don't know him so why would I talk to him the said guy grabbed my hand brought out a  knife and  said if I shout he will kill me and that's all it took for me to understand what was about to happen I'm about to die was in the other end of the play ground not knowing what's happening to me....