Will
I was lounging on the couch when my phone started vibrating against the coffee table like it was possessed. I was almost afraid to look and when I did, my irritation only grew.
Demetri: You suck as a human being.
I glanced at the screen and rolled my eyes.
Zane: Did you really kiss her for the press? What insane mean-spirited Oregon tree-hugging lunatic possessed your body and took over? #getbehindmesatan
Another text popped up.
Alec: Today my daughter was constipated, I showed her your picture, she s**t all over it. Thanks man...
Yeah, message received loud and clear, I was just about to chuck my phone against the wall when another message popped up.
Jay: We actually put you in a group messenger now so that we can all join in your shame, I added the girls, you're welcome. So,
