A Subtle Shade Of Green

CHAPTER II:

I never understood a single thing about that dinner. As if nothing happened, Sage has been out of sight lately, which I think is better than having us together in the same place, and yet I couldn’t forget what he said. It did sound like he would honor his spoken words, but he didn’t.

I guess I’m a fool for believing that he’d at least try to look good in his father’s eyes by getting close to me, because three days had already passed and I’m still not part of the Arts’ Club. Why did I even think that he'd do it? After all, I still think that he hates me, but for what reason exactly?

The brush slipped from my fingers when I tried to create more spaced loops in the canvas. I blinked at the sight of splattered paint in the floor, noticing how my white sneakers got stained with its bristles. Sighing in distress, I reached for the paintbrush and placed it inside the rinsing cup. I looked at my work again and there was really nothing in it but blackened stroke of spaced loops.

“If you’re not in the mood, don’t force it.”

I slightly furrowed at Jeon. “I am in the mood.”

His silver piercing moved along with his lips when he smirked with malice. “For what?”

Rolling my eyes, I started untying my apron.

“Whoah! Slow down, babe. I may be attracted to you but I respect Slater and his punch,” he even threw his hands up. “That man hates sharing, you know.”

I sent him a deadpanned look. “I’m not in the mood to put up with your jokes.”

“Are you on your period or something? I’d be goddamned.”

“Shut up.”

I walked towards the sink and poured my rinsing cup. This is troublesome. The way my thoughts wandered around did not bring me any progress at all. I seemed to be distracted these past few days and I hated how my so-called stepbrother got something to do with that. Since when did I become so wary of him?

Looking over the window of Jeon’s studio, all I could see is the empty park just block away from where he resides. The sight itself was as if mocking my current state of futility. Instead of making my day a little productive, all I did was spaced out.

“For today’s video, your art sucks,” I peeked Jeon a glance and his phone was already filming my back profile. “Tell me, Hyeon. What’s on your mind?”

Jeon Dolferberg, my American-Korean friend, and a painter himself. He happened to be a close friend of Sadie’s, who is also my friend, and introduced us both in a party. I don’t like noisy people, but his interest in my paintings eventually drove me to become his colleague.

I’ve been working with him for a while now and nothing annoyed me the most than his phone coming up on my face, filming. “Stop filming,” I warned him.

“Oooh, I’m scared,” he laughed. “Did you and Slater fight?”

Instead of responding to his stupid assumptions, I splashed some water on his face, and started grabbing my backpack over my right shoulder. Jeon dropped his phone and wiped his face dry using his palms. Afterwards, he sent me a look, but still smiling genuinely like a complete i***t.

“Slater’s a good man, you know.”

“And your point is?”

His eyes turned serious. “Give him a chance, Hyeon. I don’t know what held you back from going out with him, but he’s pretty in love with you. That’s all I wanted to say.”

Love, huh.

Sadie told me the same thing and I honestly don’t get the two of them. How can they be so sure that what Slater feels for me is love? Because I don’t see any of Slater’s gesture as a form of affection. Surely he knows how to romanticize moments but none of those feels like he’s in love with me.

Fixing my eyes on the cobblestone, I never noticed that a car was driving along my side, until the windows rolled down. I stopped walking when the familiar sight of Slater’s golden locks caught my attention. A playful smile was plastered on his lips when he caught me just staring back at him. His ocean blue eyes even gleamed.

“Shining, shimmering, splendid?”

I blinked.

Not wasting any more time, I hopped inside his passenger seat. I immediately scanned the whole place outside his car before I turned to him. “What the hell are y-hmmp!“

His mouth found mine and my eyes widened at the fact that he did not roll his car window up. His kisses began to feel needy, seeking for an entry, and even succeeded when I tried to talk to stop him. Out of frustration, I bit his tongue.

“What the f**k!”

Instead of responding, I extended my arms to roll up his window.

“Jeez. You could have just told me you wanted to sit on my lap,” he said as he lifted my right thigh over him so I could land my whole weight in his lap.

Annoyed, I tried to remove his grip on my legs. “How can you be so dense? Don’t just shove your lips on me when your window’s open.”

“Shall we continue, then? Everything’s closed now,” he grinned without giving a damn on my concern. “It’s been ages, Hyeon. How can you be so relax while I’m literally dying in here?”

I stared at him. “Don’t be so ridiculous,” lifting myself up from his lap, I sat again on the passenger seat, and fastened my seatbelt. “I’m not gonna make out with you under broad daylight. Drive.”

“Did you really find another man?”

Sighing, I leaned my back. “Why are you here, Slater?”

“I told you I miss you,” he said as he started driving. “But you look displeased. Did you really get yourself a boyfriend?”

“You think I can put up with another guy? You are handful enough.”

“Then, what was the coldness for? Didn’t you miss me?”

“You know the exact answer to that,” I closed my eyes. “Unlike before, I can’t be reckless now.”

“Is Sage’s father a homophobic?”

My eyes fluttered open at the mention of Sage. “I don’t know but I can’t risk anything.”

“When are you gonna stop hiding us?”

“As long as I can, so stop being a complete dumbass.”

He chuckled lowly. “Baby, you are so harsh with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“My place.”

I sighed mentally. His place wouldn’t be a good place to go to but with him crowding my presence in the public is not even an option. I don’t know if I am being paranoid, but someone might be watching me from a corner, waiting for a big scoop to cover on the news.

To find out that the only son of Heejin Park, who is married to a well-known business tycoon George McKinley, is gay will never come out right within the family. I can’t risk any of that. I can’t risk being found out. But I can’t cut my ties with Slater yet, so taming his whimsical behavior is the best option.

“Is that Corbin’s car?”

Slater got out after parking his car. “Everyone missed you, idiot.”

“What?”

“Come on. They are all waiting for you.”

I stared at his back while walking behind him. Surely Slater’s not the best guy but he’s always been there for me since I came out. He never had the best behavior but he made himself convenient for my random need of company. I know that I don’t mean that much to him but I do start to wonder what makes him want me this way.

“Slater,” I called.

“Hmmm?”

“Do you love me?”

He slowly stopped his footsteps. I almost laughed at the way his eyes blinked for more than twice when he turned around to face me. He look shocked at my sudden inquiry. I slightly shook my head and hid my smile as I walked past him.

“Figures.”

“What?” He jogged behind me. “What the f**k was that for?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Bloody hell! Do you fancy me?”

I rolled my eyes at his thick British accent. “Oh, please. f**k off.”

“But you-“

“Hey, lovebirds.”

We both gazed up to Rhaego who was peering down from the second floor of Slater’s place. He was holding a can of beer in his right hand while the other is occupied with a piece of cigarette. I parted my lips to say something but Slater covered my entire body.

“Hyeon says he loves me!”

Sadie popped out beside Rhaego. “What? He finally did?”

“Based on Hyeon’s reaction, Slater’s spouting some ridiculous theory.”

“Thanks, Corbin.”

He smiled at me. “Anytime, dude. Come up here already.”

We hanged out inside Slater’s room. His mind hadn’t gotten over from my question earlier and everyone mocked him for falling for it. Both Corbin and Rhaego made fun of him for being so self-centered. I also think that Slater’s not in love me nor did he have any interest to involve himself in romance.

He’s just a guy I make out with from time to time. And to him, I appeared the same. We are nothing more than friends, but nothing less than lovers. What we had is a messed up relationship called convenience. It exist only to fill up the void in us.

“Haah!” I wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulder. “F-Faster, hngh, faster!”

He smiled against my skin. “Does this make you feel good, Hyeon?

“S-Shut up. Just c-continue-hngh!”

“Let me put it in.”

“No!” I whipped my face forward to look at him. His eyes appeared drunk and drowsy. His skin flushed with sweats. “Put it in or I’ll chop your d**k off.”

He placed his forehead in mine as he watched our lower parts. "Still stubborn even at this state, huh?"

Rubbing our d***s roughly, I panted heavily. I could feel my insides already twitching and the pleasure I get from Slater’s hand is mind blowing enough to forget everything - my pent-up frustration towards that cold menacing gaze of Nicholas Sage McKinley.

I arched my back against the door, urging him to rub our d***s more, because I wanted more. Anything more that could fill up my thoughts. Anything more that would make me think less of that hateful stepbrother of mine. Why am I even thinking about him?

Slater reached for my lips for a deep kiss. His tongue delved inside with territorial move, not missing a corner in my mouth. I gasped for air and moaned loudly. “I’m c-cumming. I-I’m cumming, hngh-aaah!”

My body trembled.

“Hah! That’s a lot of c*m,” he chuckled against my ear after a while of my release. My arms went limp but I still managed to push him away. “I still haven’t cummed, you know.”

“Want me to give you a head?”

I offered out of nowhere.

His brows arched, giving me a long stare. “Nah, I’ll take care of it.”

This is what I meant when I said that Slater’s not in love with me. Just like how I set boundaries to where he can trail his hands on my body, he is also drawing lines to where I can touch his sentiments. We both know where we stand in this set up and I’m not even feeling offended at all.

If anything, I am fine being not adored by anyone. Getting physical is one thing, but love is another story, and the last thing I’d like to do is to put up with it. I don’t want to take role in anything that involves affection and romance.

I took a shower after Slater took care of his thing. We were both silent when he drove me back home. We seemed to be caught with our own thoughts until we reached the McKinley’s residence. My heart thudded when I saw Sage outside their mansion especially when his eyes landed to where we are.

“Why did you drop me here?”

“You didn’t say anything like I shouldn’t drop you here,” he shrugged. “Want me to pull over?”

“That’s gonna be more suspicious. He already saw your car.”

I waited for a while because Sage might go back inside their manor, but to my disappointment, Ryker came in sight, joining him in the lawn. They don’t know a thing about me being gay but I don’t want to make things that will lead them on towards my identity. How can I be so reckless and forgetting the fact that I am with Slater?

I let out a sigh of defeat.

“He’ll be more suspicious if you’ll be stuck in here longer than you should. Just show them you’ve got friends, too. Like Slater Beaumont Williams,” he smirked. “Don’t be a coward now, Hyeon.”

I glanced at him with annoyance. His eyes were fixated outside. “Easy for you to say,” he only laughed as I finally earned the courage to get out. How am I supposed to face them like I don’t give a damn?