A Subtle Shade Of Green

CHAPTER III:

I walked slowly towards them, and unluckily enough, Ryker watched Slater's car as it leaves McKinley's residence. My nervousness doubled when his green eyes landed on mine. He grinned when our eyes met, and I almost stumbled on the ground when he suddenly jumped at me, wrapping his arms around my small frame.

"Man, you are so small!" He laughed at my stunned reaction. "So, you're friends with Slater?"

His arm remained on my shoulder while I tried to calm my nerves down. I could never get used to him being so friendly and touchy. I tilted my head to peek a glance at his face. How is he so different from his cousin who is just standing a meter away from us without a care in the world?

I thought Sage would be curious about Slater but he seemed not interested at all. I doubt if he even spared Slater's car a glance. Will that be a good remark, then? If he is not interested in what's going on with my life, and who I spend my time with, will that also mean to lower my guard?

I cleared my throat as I reached the back of my neck to rub it. "Yeah."

I turned to Sage and he was already watching me. His gaze held mine, and there it goes again, his cold menacing stare. Maybe I should probably get used to it. Now that we live under the same roof, I must be wary of the boundaries he wordlessly set in between us, without the need to compromise.

His hate towards my existence was way too obvious and there is nothing I could do about it but also put the same level of nonchalance. I was told to get along with him but that is too impossible to work out if the other party is uncooperative. And I'm not someone who will likely force myself on anyone.

"How did you two know each other?"

With that thought in mind, I finally tore my eyes off him. I could still feel his burning stares through my peripheral view. What is wrong with him? Did he figure out something? My chest began to pound hard against my ribcage, realizing that he might have found something.

Trying to sort out my next move, I inhaled some air without them noticing my discomfort. I think it's better to leave them alone and tuck myself inside my room. But his cousin, Ryker, was still clinging his arm around me. His curiosity bugged me the most. I feel like I'm being interrogated.

"I met him through Sadie."

"That chick you were always with during the wedding? She looks really hot. Too bad she didn't swing my way," he smirked. "Blair got the upper hands before me."

"Right," I agreed awkwardly. "Erm, I think I should get inside."

"Sure," he finally let go of me. "But you gotta come back. We are having a barbeque party."

I stared at him but didn't say anything. Not intending to delay my stay with them, I excused myself without even glancing at Sage. There is no point in doing all that, right? He doesn't want me around. Now, what am I gonna do with the barbeque party? Should I pretend I'm asleep? Or having a stomach ache?

I carefully peeked through the curtains of my room. From where I stood, I could see the two of them setting up the whole thing beside the pool. The maids helped out by bringing the already marinated meat. Ryker fired up the barbeque grill while Sage was on his phone but still managed to put some bottles of beers inside the ice bucket.

The way his thick brows knitted together seemed like he was talking to someone annoying. Has it always been like that for him? I wonder if I'm not the only one he talked to without his forest eyes glaring. He looks like he's pissed off all the time and I wanted to know if it's just for me alone.

I silently gaped at him.

With his slightly tousled dark brown hair, he appeared like he just come out of the bed. He was wearing a grey tank top and black cotton shorts, allowing me to check out his bicep and thigh muscles, which are probably honed by daily work out in the gym.

If it weren't for his unpleasant attitude, the man is undeniably attractive. My eyes are still fixated on him when he suddenly lifted his gaze in my window. I was quick to hide but had my heart dropped on the floor seeing my mother standing right at my door.

"Oh, god, Mom!" I gasped, too startled by her presence. "You could have at least knocked or said something, you know," I managed to say after freaking out. "You need anything?"

I sat on the bed. How long has she been standing there? Was she watching me? I wanted to pry but nothing came out of my lips. She gave me a long stare as if trying to read my mind. When she didn't say anything, I could feel the uneasiness crawling up to my chest. Everything about this scene looks familiar. I swallowed hard when her mouth opened to finally speak.

"Why are you still here? Sage's friends are coming over. You should join them in the pool."

A little surprised, I blinked before I replied.

I thought she'd rant on.

"Later."

"Make sure you will."

I let out a sigh of relief when she finally left me alone. I watched her close the door. How come I did not notice her presence at all? Was I too enthralled at the thought of Sage? Or did she purposely silence herself behind me?

I went inside the shower room to cool off my head. Maybe I should have stayed over in Slater's place. I'd rather want his annoying presence by my side than have Sage and his friends suffocate the rest of my day. I don't want to hang out with anyone outside but I need to if I don't want my mother to nag at me all night long.

After a few attempts of having a confrontation with myself, whether to join the barbeque party or not, I finally went downstairs. I immediately noticed Rhoda, one of McKinley's maids, bringing some sauce on a tray.

I hurried to her side, startling her a bit, then she looked up, realizing it was just me. I smiled as I tried to take the tray from her hand.

"I'll get this," I said.

"But Sir-"

"It's Hyeon. Just Hyeon," I corrected. "Rhoda, right?"

"Ah, yes," she looked over my shoulders, a little hesitant. "I don't think it's-"

"I just wanna go there without feeling awkward. Can you help me with that?" I explained.

Her pale blue eyes held mine, then she slowly smiled. I couldn't help but stare at her. How could she smile so genuinely? Unlike my scripted gesture, hers was very pure. Finally handing me the tray, she lightly shook her head, almost too amused by the favor I asked of her.

"You are hopeless, Mr. Hyeon."

"I know," I narrowed my eyes. "Hyeon. Just Hyeon."

"Fine," she giggled. "Hyeon."

"Well? Uh, I-"

"Can you get me another towel, Rhoda?"

With that voice thundering behind me, I whipped around only to see Sage walking toward us. His menacing green eyes were fixated on Rhoda. They held no humor at all. I slowly gulped and began to find a way out of his domineering presence. It's not that I am afraid of him. It's just that he makes me feel uneasy to the point of annoyance. Maybe I could just slip away since he didn't give me a single glance.

"How many towels do you need, Sir?"

"Six."

"I'll get it right away. Excuse me."

I blinked when Rhoda turned her back to get the towel. All the saints know how I wanted to stop her from leaving and get the towel myself. Being alone with Sage is the last thing I would want to ever happen tonight.

The silence etched between us until I decided to just get out of his sight wordlessly. And yet to my surprise, he suddenly blocked my way, causing the tray to bump against his abdomen. I gasped when the sauce stained his tank top.

With my eyes widened, I looked up. "I, uh, erm..."

The slight crease in his forehead is telling me that he might explode anytime now. Sage shifted his gaze from his stained tank top to mine. His emerald eyes held my brown ones. This was so far the closest distance I had gotten with him that I could notice every detail of his face - from his thick and sleek brows down to his narrowed nose – even the curve of his long lashes caught me by surprise.

When my gaze started to trail the sides of his lips, I was quick to step backward to make allowance for proper proximity. He furrowed but he didn't say anything. I mentally scolded myself for checking him out. I think he would find it rude.

"Sorry about your tank top."

He gave me a long stare.

"I see you're still not in the Arts' Club."

Why brought this up?

"Yeah."

"I was wondering why you hadn't enlisted your name there. I know you can get into it even without my help," he used his thumb to clean the smudge of sauce on his clothes. I blinked again when he licked his thumb. "Or are you, perhaps, testing me?"

Now, it's my turn to slightly furrow.

"What?"

"I told our parents that I'll get you into the club. But whether I do it or not, you just need to see it yourself, right?" He narrowed his eyes. "Why exactly?"

I stared back at him.

For someone who grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, I didn't expect Sage to be this sharp. I was indeed waiting for him to honor his words - to witness if he'd walk his talk. But the reason behind my motive was still unclear to me. All I ever wanted to see was him doing exactly what he said he would, which to my disappointment, he didn't.

For whatever reason, I thought that there is a slight chance I could trust this guy. That I could loosen up around him, that I could be with myself, that I could be free from pretending, but I was mistaken. With his family name surrounding my existence, I could never dwell on the idea that Sage might favor me, as well as the thing I am hiding – my identity as gay.

It is no longer a question of whether he is homophobic or not. Everything is clear – Sage is a McKinley – and that alone makes a wide gap between his perception and mine. There is no way he'd like his last name to be tainted with my complexity. In between his spoken lines, I could read his hidden message - I am being watched.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said coldly. "If you'll excuse me..."

I walked past him but he held my upper arm to stop me.

"What is it that you want from me? Recognition? Acceptance? What is it, hmm?"

He crouched to reach my ear. With him angling his head, I could feel his scornful amusement directed at my whole being, and I felt more than embarrassed at the mere thought that I'd get something positive from his vibe, that even in his cold approach, I might be felt.

I'm ashamed for thinking that I could belong in this house. It seemed like there is no space for new beginnings here. Family, love, and friendship – none of these felt possible. I should have just stayed guarded.

"I won't be acting like a brother to you if that's what you're expecting me to be."

He didn't even mince his words. It's pretty obvious how he dislikes my existence but having to hear him saying my exact thoughts is beyond my expectation. Sage did not sugarcoat his intentions of making me feel that I have no space in here. I swallowed to clear my throat, trying to compose a phrase that wouldn't come out weak.

"The feeling is mutual."

He backed away and suddenly took the tray out of my hand. The slight evidence of humor escaped his forest eyes as he stilled on his feet, just holding my stoic expression in his gaze as if contemplating the longest conversation we ever had. I tried not to budge at all despite the intensity behind his darkened iris.

"Good, then."