A Subtle Shade Of Green

PROLOGUE:

The smell of smoke spread around the small corner of the construction site within Eastwood High. There are small creaks on the floor and the layers of cement under the bricks feels rough against my back. Not really minding the griminess of the entire building, I puffed another smoke in the air and looked over the football field.

Green.

The color does not match my dull preference for art, which is between black and white. While green speaks more of life, nature, growth and rebirth, gray professes complexity alone, something that falls in between absolutes.

The darker it gets, the more indecisive it becomes.

There is no certain opinion nor does it hold a firm decision. It’s just there, existing in vagueness, and I honestly like the way it cannot be read easily, a masterpiece that catches attention but never the understanding it needs.

Unlike green, which can be presented in any form, gray remains a mystery, something that you have to search for in every possible corner of your subconscious just so you can understand the story it wants to convey, and only those who dare to go further become a winner.

“Slater’s holding a party this weekend, you wanna come?” Sadie says casually while blocking my entire view of the football field. Her face sticks a little closer to mine. “Blair and I will be there.”

“I’ll think about it,” I tilted my head away as I blew another puff of smoke.

I felt her eyes on me. “That’s new.”

“We have a family dinner this weekend,” I paid her my attention again. “You know, I can’t miss that, right? Just tell Slater I won’t be there.”

“You gotta learn how to ditch family dinners like you always do with your classes,” she watched me closely. “Slater will bug me for sure. He is obsessed with you.”

“I don’t ditch classes anymore.”

Her sleek brows arched, as if mocking my sudden change of perception towards my classes. “You are here with me, you hypocrite.”

“And this will be the last time.”

“I don’t recall you being this discreet. What did McKinley feed you, huh?”

“Flawless reputation?”

“Hah! That’s pretty expensive.”

I know that her statement truly sounds like harmless humor but there is darkness behind it, and she might be right about the thing that I’m surprisingly being discreet, because I used not to mind these things before - family events like weekend dinners did not bother me that much until I became part of the McKinley’s household.

“You have to be very careful with your words and actions from now on,” I remember how her palms felt really cold against my cheeks as she placed her forehead against mine, while rubbing my skin gently with her thumb. “This is a new start for us, Hyeon. We can’t mess up things, right?”

I always wonder what she meant by messing things up, because we have always kind of messed up ourselves. When my parents decided to divorce, it left so much damage in the family. My mother became an alcohol addict and was admitted to a certain rehabilitation center.

“Hyeon,” in her drunkenness, she would often call my name. “Don’t leave,” and cried in her sleep.

It was the worst year in my life, and thinking about it now made me feel nauseous, because the memory had wrecked the eleven-year-old part of me – the year where I needed someone to hear me out, to put a term on the crisis I was facing and to be fully attended in times of my confusion – but there was no one for me then, and I don’t like living in that hell again.

That’s why I am here, sticking around with the sentiments of the McKinleys - and that includes their reputation, business connections, important events and-

“Gotta pick up my girlfriend,” Sadie jumped on her feet upon hearing the school bell. “See you this weekend!”

She walked giddily down the stairs while I stayed behind inside this unfinished building, thinking about what might happen this coming Saturday. It’s just dinner, but it’ll be held at one of McKinley's hotel restaurants, and surely the Flynn’s will be there, too. Not that I have anything against them, but too many crowds actually tire me out.

My phone vibrated, snapping all my thoughts away. A message from Slater pops up on the screen saying, “I’m holding a party this weekend. Can you come?”

‘I can’t. Family dinner.’

I sent him a short reply.

‘Family dinner or me?’

‘Family dinner.’

‘Come on, Hyeon. Didn’t you miss me?’

‘I don’t.’

‘I miss you. Badly.’

I left it read and slipped my phone inside my pocket.

Slater Beaumont Williams is a student from a neighboring school, Winter Hills. Sadie introduced him to me and the two of us became somewhat of a ship in our circle, but contrary to what Sadie’s thinking, he is not obsessed with me.

He is just another guy, or gay must I say, settling for convenience.

The clattering sound of books falling on the floor brought me back to my senses. Absorbed by my wandering thoughts, I bumped into someone in the hallway. I quickly mumbled my apology without sparing the girl I bumped into even a single glance and just bent over to help her pick up the books.

“Hyeon?”

Elle smiled at me when I looked up. The familiar scent of Tuberosa coming from her smells like huge money. These people spend their wealth on perfumes like it’s nothing, while my allowance just barely hangs on the edge of my sleeve. We aren’t poor, but certainly we aren’t rich either.

“Hey.”

I stared at those faint brown spots spreading across her cheeks.

“I haven’t seen you around lately,” she braced her books in her arms. “How is it going?”

I don’t remember being chatty with her, but considering the fact that her family is one of McKinley’s partners in business, I don’t think it’s a good idea to just skip out the friendliness, and the fact that she had talked to me first makes me feel like I’m obliged to be polite with her.

I can feel some eyes digging holes in my body by just having Elle Montgomery stand next to me. This transformation of my life feels completely odd because I’m not used to receiving so much attention from other people.

“Just fine.”

“Still don’t like to mingle, huh?” her soft laugh echoed in my ears. “I saw you with a girl just now. Is she your girlfriend?”

“What?”

Her hazel eyes seemed to notice the confusion plastered on my face. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to pry,” she shakes her head, apologetic for being intrusive.

I gaped at her.

Her assumptions do not bother me at all, but the word girlfriend does. I almost laugh at the thought of how Elle and these people don’t know my identity yet. They see me as a boy having normal interactions with girls and I can’t blame them for thinking of me that way.

I’m just like any other boys on this campus because me being gay is not something I publicly announced. I did not come out to anyone other than my own circle of friends. Even my mother does not know about it yet and certainly I’d keep this part of me hidden from her for eternity. Especially from her. No other people shall know about this secret except the ones I truly trust.

I sighed inwardly. “Sadie’s not my girlfriend,” I muttered lowly as I looked for a way out of this conversation. “I really have-“

“Sage!” Elle waved her hand as she looked over my shoulder.

I swiped my tongue at my lips when I heard the name.

Just like my mother who had me in her first marriage, George McKinley had a son the same age as me, but I barely talked to him at home. Interactions between us seem to be more difficult than I expected because that guy is-

“What is it, Elle? Nolan’s not with me.”

I turned around to face him and his mood instantly changed into a soured one, as if my existence affected the entirety of his day. His thick brows formed into a slight crease when he realized that I was the one his friend was talking to and the last thing I’d want to entertain is his unwelcoming presence.

A sigh of aversion escaped from his lips as he looked back at Elle. “What is it, Elle?” he asked the same question. “I still have meetings to attend to.”

This man is certainly indifferent towards me. I can see it in his snobbish green eyes. I can feel it in his gestures. The way his gaze averted mine always had me thinking if I was being a pest in his sight or not. I wondered if he hated the idea of our family merging into one, because technically we are not on their level, or maybe he just simply doesn’t like me.

Unlike Elle, who is kind and friendly, Sage is more like an exclusive person. You can’t talk to him unless he talks to you first, like he is some sort of royalty, which is really ridiculous, if I were to say.

I tore my eyes off them when my phone rang inside my pocket and carelessly answered the call in front of the two. Sage scrunched his brows again as he peeked a quick glance over my phone screen before shifting his eyes back to Elle.

“What?”

“Is it the time of the month?” Slater jokingly chuckled on the other side. “I miss you.”

I scowled in annoyance.

“Where’s Ryker?” it was Elle.

I don’t think they need me here, so I turned my back away from them. With Slater, on the other hand, I can’t risk myself being found out in no time. We are not exactly lovers, but we are not less than friends either. If I were caught, that’d be the end of me.

“I told you not to call me when I’m still at school,” I scraped the back of my nape with my free hand. I looked around to see if there was no one near me, but then the sight of Sage and Elle still standing in the same place caught my eyes. “And I don’t miss you.”

I blinked when Sage suddenly turned his head in my way.

His usual cold, menacing gaze started to annoy me, too. Why do I feel like he hates me more than necessary? It’s not like I did something bad nor did I try to shame his family’s name. I know too well what my boundaries are when I set my foot inside their house.

It’s not like I’m dumb or something. I wouldn’t do anything to put a stain on their reputation. Isn’t that the reason why I’m trying to keep my personal life private?

It has been months since I began to take certain precautions when meeting my friends from Winter Hills. Although they’re not the kind to spill the beans over some tea, I still need to be more cautious when Slater’s around.

That man has no way of keeping his mouth shut, especially when he is not in the best mood. He also tried to succumb to his personal whims, like publicly displaying his need to get my attention, and I could only imagine the horror when everyone finds out my connection with the basketball team captain of Winter Hills.

This is no time to be as careless as before. Mom and I wanted a fresh start and I meant it when I promised her I'd behave. I need to crash out my old tactics way of living and commit myself into studies. I can’t do that when Slater’s acting like a clingy boyfriend.

“Are you seeing another man?” his voice was a bit accusing.

“I can’t even deal with you. Why else would I need another man to piss me off?” I sucked my lower lip with my teeth. “And if I really am, what is it to you?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“See?” I pursed my lips. “Stop asking me these questions.”

“At least give me a ring when you’re not up to seeing me in person.”

This side of Slater always gets through me. “Fine.”

I hung up after a while of convincing me to attend his weekend party, which I strongly refused before the call ended. The noise from my left side causes me to slightly tilt my head, only to find Sage getting through the crowd of students.

He walks gracefully in the hall, like a leopard carefully watching his prey from far. The slight crease in his forehead tells me that he is beyond annoyed. But with who exactly? I’m not really sure if he’s just like that as a person or maybe someone did him wrong, that he can’t seem to ease his mood.

When he stopped by my side, I blinked more than twice. I couldn't help but to just stare at his side profile. He’s really huge compared to my small frame. He must be around six feet tall and I basically looked like a potato beside him.

His muscles are in their right places and the way his veins protrude into his skin, I can tell he’s well-built by some sort of daily exercise inside the gym. I know this ain’t time to be scrutinizing every small detail of his appearance, but I must admit that the McKinleys had the best genes.

“Do you smoke?” he asked out of nowhere, angling his head to peer down on me. He failed to hide his anger through his frigid tone. “I don’t mind if you do, but do it in the right places. Not inside the campus,” the irritation in his iris tells me that I am indeed a walking headache.

Green has always been so easy to comprehend because the color itself entails transparency. I need no effort to understand its resplendent light because it is easily seen through.

But with Nicholas Sage McKinley, who just left me speechless and somewhat taken aback by his unwanted concerns, everything appears murky. His eyes are like a crepuscular forest. Although green, they are pitch-black and dusky.

You think you can see everything but you really don’t. You think you can just figure it out, but you have no idea what’s behind the trees and bushes. It is so presumptuous of me to think that I can get along with the younger McKinley when the truth is we are far beyond strangers.