The Beauty and the Inked

Three: The Plane Ride

"Where were you, young lady?" my Aunt asked as I stepped in my room. I thought she was asleep, I didn’t know that she would be waiting for me and in addition to my shock, she was in my room.

"We went somewhere," I walk past her and straight to my closet. I wish she did not catch the smell of cosmo from my dress. I plead a silent prayer, but when I peaked at her direction, she has her nose pinched.

"Were you drinking?" disgust is all over her voice with her brows were knitted together. Here we go... "Are you really trying to drive me mad? Yssa, you're totally out of control!"

"I'm doing fine, okay? We're not doing filthy things!" I said then turned my back to head to the bathroom. I just want her to go, sleep in her room and have a peaceful night. Is that even hard to do? I slammed the door behind me, giving us the barrier we need.

She pound on the door, "Open this, Yssa. We're not done! And don't you turn your back on me."

"Just go to your room, and have some sleep. I don't want to hear the same old ultimatum, Aunt. Please," I peel off my dress and threw it at the laundry basket. I stepped out of my pumps, and turned the shower on. The cold water run down my body, and my muscle started to relax.

"We will talk about this tomorrow," she said. I rolled my eyes, though she wouldn't see me. As if she’s not used to how shitty I am.

The next morning, my back hurts. I stretched a little on top of my bed and winced at the smarting pain on my left shoulder. Maybe I was really exhausted due to what I did yesterday, dance class, the bar, and all. My dance class was energy consuming but I enjoy it more than anything. I got out of my bed and went to kitchen. My Aunt was already there cooking breakfast.

"Have you decided about Philippines?" she asked me.

"Good morning to you, too, Aunt," I said as I slid on the chair. I don't want to ruin my day, but I guess it's inevitable.

"Yssa, your parents miss you.”

My stomach rumbles but my appetite will soon to disappear if she continues talk about my parents. "I want to have a peaceful breakfast, let's talk about it later," luckily she agreed, and to my surprise we survived to have a calm breakfast. Usually, my Aunt would be lecturing me about coming home late, or spending most of my time away from this house or most of the time, everything that I do. But I understand where she is coming from; it’s just that, I don't like being restrained from the things I enjoy and everything that involve my two best friends. There is nothing to worry about me or anyone anymore. I surpassed the phase of my life where I thought killing me is the answer to everything.

For the first time of staying here, I helped her to clean the table and wash the dishes. It felt so strange to have this tranquil morning with Aunt Ruth. I can see my Mum whenever I look at her. Their sameness defeats the love I want to give to my Aunt, and every time I look at her... my haunted past crawls back to me. Though, Aunt Ruth is oblivious to what happened back in Philippines.

Maybe if I will tell her now she would stop and let me stay here? Not just with her but also with my friends. Should I? Maybe I should, for Tim's sake.

Timothy Patel, my poor little brother. Before I even knew it, my Aunt was asking me why I was tearful. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hands, "I..." I struggled for words, "It's nothing," I smiled weakly. She didn't wait for any further answer.

"So, about Manila?" she asked with a tone of calmness, her eyes were trying to gauge my reaction. I can see that she was trying, really trying to keep the tension between us as neutral as possible.

"I'll leave after this semester," I said, though I'm not positive with my decision. I exhaled, letting the burden on my shoulders to dissolve.

"That's in two weeks, right?" she asked with her eyes lit with amusement. If only she knew why I would never want to go back there. If only I can spill the miserable story of my past…

"Yeah.” I'm not sure if I can really go back there, but I'm also guilty for leaving my Dad. I haven't talked to him since the day he sent me here. I've missed him a lot.

"I'll take care for everything," her voice was full of excitement.

I shrugged, "I should take a shower and get going, and I’m supposed to meet James later." I was on the top of the stairs when I heard Aunt Ruth call me, "Yeah?"

"Thank you," maybe she noticed the confusion on my face because she continued, "For this morning. It's really nice that I spent it with you."

. . . .

Days had passed; I was done with my final exam and everything that should be taken care of. All I have to do is to pack my stuff and prepare myself; physically and mentally. My flight to Philippines is tomorrow afternoon and as Aunt Ruth promised, she took care of everything; my plane tickets, renewal of passport, even my school papers.

While Bella and Lexi helped me to pack my things, we worked in silence. For hours, no one said a word. Just a few exchanges of awkward smiles.

When we were done, both of couldn’t look in my direction, this is painful. The pain is scrutinizing... a hole in my chest which they have healed with their love for me starts to widen again…

"I... Uhm," I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, my eyes started to fill with tears, "You know, I mean... Hah," I can't put my thoughts into words. I want to thank them; I want to tell them how grateful I am to spend my eight years of staying here with them.

"Yeah, we get it," Bella helped me. The rim of her eyes was red, trying to fight back the tears. We laughed altogether, and then embraced one another.

"I will miss you both," I sobbed.

"We'll do the same for sure," Lexi said, tightening her arms around me and Bella.

The day ended, and the next thing I knew we were crying again at the airport. But this time, Aunt Ruth was with us, and James standing awkwardly behind me.

"So, I hope this isn't a goodbye... as in, forever goodbye..." James stutters.

"Of course not," I held his hand and looked straight into his eyes, “but please don’t wait for me.”

Sadness covered his face like a blanket but that’s the best thing to do. It needs to be said. Five years of running around in circle is enough.

"Don't forget to Skype," Lexi said in between her sobs. My insides were slowly drowning, and the least that I could do is to take a deep breath.

"Bye, Yssa," I heard my Aunt said. She was tearful; this woman is special to me... though most of our shared moments come with an argument and endless ultimatum. I don't have the courage to say it out loud... But I know I love her. God knows.

“Bye, Aunt Ruth. I will miss you," I embraced her, so tight that she almost winced.

I made my way to the departure gate. I can face Philippines with a new and stronger me. I can do this...

. . . .

I was finally settled on my proper seat. In just a few minutes, the plane will take off. The seat next to me was still unoccupied so I made use of it for a moment. The room was filled with a voice, reminding us to turn off our mobiles and other important things to obey. This flight will be exhausting; this will last for approximately fourteen hours. Yikes.

I pulled my legs and bring it on my chest, trying to be a bit more comfortable then closed my eyes, and rest my head between my knees.

So this is it... I'm leaving New York. I'm leaving James, Aunt Ruth, Bella, and Lexi. My chest suddenly felt empty. Why can't I just stay here? I have lived peacefully for the last five years, what will happen to me in Manila? The memories of my first three years of staying here in flooded my mind; I was still adjusting and I have just met Bella, all I knew back then was to be stubborn and a bitch... she never surrendered for changing who I was. Changing in the sense of knocking some guts to me to be a decent lady. Then a few years after we met Lexi and James. They were lucky they have met me when I was already under Bella's influence.

I felt a sudden movement to my side, the seat must be occupied. I did not pay any attention to whoever sat beside me, but when I heard him curse under his breath my eyes flung open... the demigod, it's Zack.