The Beauty and the Inked

Twenty-three: Gone

“My dad found us," I continued. Zack's arm was wrapped around me like a vine, and I was thankful. I feel so protected, and I want to stay like this forever.

His heavy breathing tells me that he was affected with my story. His hand stroke my hair, the comforting gesture is what I needed especially now that I had just relived the darkest episode of my past.

"I haven't told this to anybody," I said, looking up to his hazel eyes.

"Not even your friends back in New York?" he asked me, I shook my head in response, "Why not?" his deep voice sound so soothing in my ear.

"I just can't," I flattened my palms on his chest, "I don't have the courage to look back at my past, let alone tell it to anybody," I drew out a long exhausted breath.

"What happened after that day?"

Should I tell him the rest? Of course. I had already started, why not finish it?

"I became mad to my Mom. I hated her so much for letting that happen. I lost all my passion to love her since that day," I screw my eyes shut. Blurting out this bring stinging pain in my chest. How could you not love your mother? It sucks.

"Why do you blame your mom?"

"She was supposed to look after Tim. But she left him alone. Why would she left a six-year-old kid alone?" my voice was full of disgust and annoyance. I can't contain the pain anymore, so I let myself to let go. "My Dad sealed the case with a considerable amount of money, he made sure that Tim's death will as if just an accident to make my brother's name clean. But I just can't put it that way, it's too much for me to hide," I was on the edge of crying again, and Zack tightened his arm around me.

A tear escaped from my eye, and my shoulders shook. I can't contain the agony that was lurking inside me while I was remembering my past. I cried to Zack's chest, whilst he embraced me.

"It's okay, you don't have to carry on anymore," he said. Just the feeling of his presence makes me feel fine. God, what is he doing to me?

"You know what? Your embrace is better than the therapy my shrink did," I said, letting a shaky laugh, trying to lighten my mood and his. Somehow, the pain that was present a few seconds ago slowly starting to cease and being locked away in the dungeons of my unwanted memories. Sometimes it got to slip and invade me, but I had managed to learn how to keep myself intact.

Nobody had known how fragile I was inside. My Aunt thought I was just a stuck-up spoiled brat. My friends, Bella and Lexi thought it was just my natural behavior. Nobody had ever guessed that inside I was still hurting, reeling from the memories of my little brother.

"I wish I had met you earlier," his tone was full of emotion. I felt happy. I bet he has no clue of how much he makes me feel safe. Of how much I want him to spend the coming days with me.

It's funny how I never saw this coming. He makes me feel these new things... Things that I haven't experienced before. He makes me happy, he makes me feel safe. He consumes all of me. The indescribable feeling is very raw and new I can't explain it.

"I do, too," I murmured. My cheeks heat as we lay like this. My head resting on his chest and our hands entwined. I'd never felt this kind of bond to anybody, like- you need them to help you carry on for what's coming next.

I feel secured and safe with him around. It's like; I can depend on him whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. James was never been this close to me. In fact, no other guy does. Being this close to a guy is new for me. I want him to stay with me...

. . . .

"Mom, when Zack wakes up- err, tell him to call me," I was standing by the door with my sling bag clutched.

"He's here?" the surprise in my Mom's tone was very obvious. But I hope she's not jumping into many conclusions. When did I ever think of whatever she thinks?

"Yeah. I should get going. I'll be late," I haven't told my Mum about my job. But so what? It's not as if I needed her approval, or her opinion about it. I stepped out of the house, and hailed a cab. I haven't talked to Bella about the money they've got from selling my car. I'll give her a call after work; I need to buy a car as soon as possible.

"Oh, hey Yssa!" Jane chirped. She was just about to open the double doors when I stepped out on the pavement.

"Hi," I smiled.

"Excited for your first day?"

"Sort of," I said as we stepped inside the library. The smell of old and new books mixed into the thin air. I followed her to the desk where we placed our bags.

"We'll start with opening the boxes," she said as she opened the stock room. A lot of boxes were sealed, marked with different numbers which corresponds to the designated shelves. This is it.

While we were working with the second box we headed the chime, a girl with jet black hair and ruby red lips emerged into the room.

"Hey," she greeted Jane and me, her thin lips curled into a smile.

"Yssa, Cher. Cher, Yssa," Jane introduced.

"Hi."

"Nice to see another girl but beware of Rob, he's a d**k," she said with a sly smile. Who's Rob? I guess she saw my confusion, she started talking again, "I see you haven't met him," she said with an eyebrow arched. I just nod in response.

"Cher, don't tell her how skunk of a person Rob is. Let her see herself," Jane said as she placed the rest of the books on the cart, which we will put onto the shelves later, "Why don't you help us here? What do you think?"

"Okay, okay. Geez, chill, Jane," Cher said, and then dropped a wink. I just noticed how... provocatively dressed she was. But all in all, she looks gorgeous. Her small frame was adorned with a tight tube and skater skirt.

I helped Jane with sorting books, it was fun actually especially when we worked at the literature section. There were just a lot of books everywhere, and it makes me feel so giddy.

"Yssa, can you get the rest of the books?" Jane was standing on a ladder, placing the hardbound books. Religion section wasn't fun to work on; almost all of the books were heavy with thick covers. But I guess I haven't even experienced half of the numerous sections here.

"Yeah sure," I pushed the cart and head straight to the stock room. I accidentally bumped to a tall guy. His features scream arrogance. I guess he's Rob...

"Hey, beautiful," he smirked. Just looking at him tells me Cher and Jane was right. Shoo, my mind said. But of course, I have to be nice.

"Hi, I'm Yssa," I said as I pass through him, ignoring how jerk-looking he is.

I heard he mumbled something, but the only clear word that registered in my ear was 'ass'. What a d**k. Luckily I was already briefed by Jane how skunk he is, so I chose to ignore him again.

I put the remaining in the cart and I pushed it but only blocked by Rob. Seriously? I wonder why he wasn't yet fired. I have just met him for two minutes and I'm already a hundred percent sure he's a jerk.

"Want to grab some lunch later?" his smile was something you'll never be pleased to see. He was totally checking me out, ugh. What a total d**k.

"If you'll excuse me," I said with a slightly stern tone. Maybe being nice to him won't work.

"We've got a feisty lady," he muttered to himself as he let me pass through. Instead of being a d**k, go and do your job, stupid.

I guess he thinks so highly of himself, that's why he acts this way.

"What happened?" Jane asked me as I handed her the books. All I know is that I'm pissed of how Rob can actually be a skunk. Take note, we've just met not half an hour.

"Well, I have just met the infamous Rob," I shrugged as if the topic was nothing new.

"I see," she said with a knowing smile, "After this we'll work upstairs."

My day went smoothly- except whenever Rob's around. Jane and I worked together most of time, while Rob and Cher worked at the front desk.

It was already three in the afternoon, but I haven’t heard from. Maybe my Mum forgot to tell him? But nonetheless, he was supposed to call me whether being reminded or not, right? I shrugged off the thought; maybe he was busy with his work. When the clock strikes five, I have decided to walk home.

. . . .

"What do you want for dinner?" my Mom knocked on my door. She seemed to forget my rules: no talking.

"Anything," actually, I don't have the appetite to eat. Zack haven't called or even thought to text me

What harm would it be if I call first? Uhm- no. Girl code: never call first.

But that's just stupid, right? A stupid idea made by stupid people. My fingers dialed his number.

'This is Zack. Just leave your message.' Beep.

Disappointment flooded me. Not trying to be clingy, but I haven't heard from him all day. What happened? Is he mad at me or something? Have I done something wrong? The more I think about the more I worry. Why would I have to overthink things, right? Maybe tomorrow he'll call. I'll see.